Drifting Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Well, i was with this girl for about 2 years, and things were going great. It was a long distance thing, and we could see each other like 2 times a month. I knew her for 4 years, we were friend before we got together. So, anyways, 2 weeks ago, she says she loves more as friend then as a boyfriend and we should stay a really good friends. And that of course breaks me apart, i cannot sleep, eat .. you name it. And as a complete moron, i'm calling her everyday, she answeres every now and then, i'm emotional during those calls, crying, thinking of the good times we had, etc. In the end she stops returning my calls, i can't reach her, and still being a moron, i keep trying. She dosen't answer, but return a call every few days, and we talk for not more then a few minutes. So, i decided to go with all that NC thing, but it's so freakin' hard. Well truth be told, i made the decision today and already broke it once. But now i'm sticking to it no matter what ( i hope at least ). Like i said, i'm completely devestated, thinking about her all the time, crying ... can't bare the thought of she not being mine anymore, can't bare the thought of she being with someone else So my question is, could this friendship work? I mean, i don't want to lose her completely, i want us to stay friend at least, but it's so damn hard being around her and not be able to kiss her, hugh her Could we get back togehter sometime in the future? I know, no one can for see the future .... i guess i need some comfort
ronnieromance Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 OOOOhhhhhh. I hate to say this, but I don't think you should be pursuing a friendship with her if you are still hurting. Basically, you may want this, or you may not, I don't know. But I can guarantee that, right now what is driving you is trying to hold on to anything in order to hold on to her. Worry about yourself. Heal first, which will take time, and then you may, or may not want to and'or be able to be friends. I do think that, while it's not a goog idea to jump into socialization and relationships in order to get over someone, it is unwise to pine over anyone and shun these activities. You may not get over a woman and heal by going out with a new one, but by avoiding going out and meeting new pwoplw because you won't move on, you'll never heal. Give it a few weeks total and force yourself to be around people. Internet sites like webdate are great for this since they provide outlets and ways to meet numerous people. Try it out when you feel a littl more whole. -R-
Aloros Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I agree with ronnieromance. Give yourself some time away from her to heal. Talking with her or seeing with her right now will just remind you how much you want her back and will only reopen fresh wounds. Take the time to pamper yourself. Reconnect with friends. Most importantly, stay busy. It helps to keep your mind off of things and helps you to move on. When you're over her, then you can consider a friendship with her. Right now it would just cause you too much pain. Good luck!
Kengne Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I'm sorry you're hurting Drifting. Yes the friendship thing can work - but not right now. Right now you're still thinking of reconciliation, and dealing with the breakup while she has 'moved on' so to speak. So being friends w her - right now - will only hurt rather then help you. You need to heal from the breakup, first - before thinking of the future and friendship or reconciliation. and the only way to do that is with time away - away from her. keep on with the NC. yes it hurts, but it hurts the more you DON'T follow it strictly. contact right now will only fuel your emotions, and if you continue to be all emotional you will eventually push her away. good luck! k.
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