Chump64 Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 it's really sad that some people can make you go that far and humiliate yourself to the point where catching them in lies denies your dignity more than their deeds deny theirs... or yours! Why is it humiliating "to yourself" to investigate and catch your spouse in lies? I don't feel humiliated -- I feel vindicated. I would feel humiliated if I strongly suspected I was being screwed over, and just let it continue unchecked and sat there meekly. The only people that try to humiliate me for investigating and spying are people here at Loveshack. I assume many of them are cheating, or have cheated in the past, and dislike hearing about snooping techniques that will get them busted.
onlyhuman Posted June 14, 2006 Posted June 14, 2006 Poor guy is driven nuts because his wife is cheating.Sometimes you don't want to believe what you know is true , Ie , the testing of the pantyliners. This guy's humiliation is of her doing not his, it just seems like he wants to hang on. I would personally go back on meds myself until I got through this.I find it disturbing some people can't show more compasion for a guy who's being cheated on yet lambaste him for invading her privacy. Get a lawyer and don't tell her a thing.She's already been offered a dignified way out and still choose to treat you like a sap.When you get your plan together then act.
Author Lostit Posted July 25, 2006 Author Posted July 25, 2006 I'd like to thank all the people that responded and gave their opinions. A lot of you are right I have sunk very low and to all the posters that have indicated that I need to go back on my meds, I have. I think I need them just to get my mind off this mess. I did confront my wife and told her about the panty liners and she denies that she ever did have an affair. Claims that it's mistake on my part. Tells me that I am all that she wants and does not want another. Looks at me in the eye and tells me that she isn't and I really want to beleive her as I love her dearly. I know now that she will never admit to the event and I think I can stop looking as I have the proof. Would be nice if she could admit it but she can't. Will wait till the meds kick in and decide what to do. 1
Guest Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 its not a privacy issue when std's are real! and usually married sex means UNSAID unprotected sex!! so! anyways...**** those pantyliners though, youve got the warts thing and the other evidence, i forgot you have enough, if you think she cheated quit giving her oral sex ok now i have come to this conclusion, cheating is not an issue of feelings, drama, fear, anything like that, like dont want to hurt the other person by telling them but really, you are only hurting them. so everyone needs to wake up and say, when it comes to cheating when deciding what to do about it after the fact... do not base that decision on anything that has to do with that **** it boils down to everyone's right to human respects you know what the ****, i dont care about all the drama none of that matters, all it is- is a choice to sleep with who you choose, nothing else, so anyways, anyone disagree?? you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mariJane Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 no F that, tell her you lied about the pantyliners to try and get her to admit it and that she just tasted like crap and its over, dont admit that pantyliners **** she'll use that against you. so just say she tasted bad and the warts and all that other stuff use as evidence. OK!! after a few years away from her you will feel better this is not good for you. watch your back and get OUT! k peace out hurry read this dont do it anymore!
mariJane Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 and look what onlyhuman wrote right above you!!!!!! hurry get back online !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Author Lostit Posted July 25, 2006 Author Posted July 25, 2006 She told me that she would not have an affair and let me go through what I've been through and that she would never accept being the other woman. She claims my mind is cloudy and I probably made a mistake when I did the test. Above it all she says she loves me and deep down I believe her. I asked her to tell me when she goes out to meet someone during the workday and she agreed to it. I have all the evidence I need to leave but I can't. I may be a fool but if she did make a mistake I will have to forget it and move on. If things are better than fine, if my marriage doesn't improve I will leave. I am going to start thinking positive and pray for strength to get past this. God bless all of you.
whichwayisup Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Is there anyway you can hire a PI? Look, if she is having an affair and doesn't want to end it, she will go through many lengths to keep it from you. Her mind isn't thinking clearly. You ask ANY betrayed spouse, actually the person to talk to about this is Thumbingmyway...His wife kept lying to him while in marriage counselling! (do a search on his name, his posts will come up.) I feel for you and I commend how strong you're being.
Becoming Posted July 25, 2006 Posted July 25, 2006 Way to go, Chump! I admire your ingenuity. The sperm from the June pantyliner could have been yours because there is some that is pre-ejaculate that "leaks" out. The May one though, according to your calculations, couldn't have been yours. I take it that you want proof for a decent divorce settlement? Why do you want proof at this point? Your own sanity? Because they'll feed you all this BS to the point where you question yourself. Is that it?
Guest Posted July 26, 2006 Posted July 26, 2006 After 25 yrs. of marriage......what the sam h-ll is going on? Either you are off your rocker by not taking your meds, or in fact your wife is seeing other people. Now the question is when do you suppose she started doing this? During the time that you "decided " you didnt need your meds ? And she couldnt take your out of control jealousy...perhaps tried talking to you but alas you are just fine and continue the jealousy till she ends up w/someone else? which is the usual scenario!? I have been there and I assure you it doesnt take "25" stinkin years to cheat on your spouse.! Only about "2 yrs" if this person is accusing you of every unimaginable act they can concoct! And I was not married, and would I consider such a thing w/someone like that? Not on your last dying breath! Marriage that is? no! Especially when I know that the person that I love has this kind of dual personality. Key word .....love. your wife loves you , but has made some piss poor judgements with people that she has turned to for understanding. Thats her biggest fault! And yes , I have seen men and women just cut someone off in their lives for no apparent reason except that they dont know what they want. And I have also seen women go off the deep end AFTER they a histerectomy. There is a lot of truth to that. Has your wife gone thru this in the recent years prior to her changed behavior towards you? So many variables...lets be honest about it and maybe the answer will be clear.
spgrammy Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 time for u to reflect. you may be insecure, but ask yourself what led up to it.Obviously , and there is no doubt in my mind that your wife has found her love interests else where. No respect for that. why does she keep hanging on to the marriage....well thats simple. she is insecure herself. It appears to me she loves the thrill of it all. I don't usually take the man's side in these issues, but u seem to be a genuine committed spouse. Look at it this way you have 25 years invested in this marriage.Now take stock of it and ask yourself whats important. When you have finally had enough you will leave the marriage.My opinion is you will be a better man for it.
spgrammy Posted July 30, 2006 Posted July 30, 2006 time for u to reflect. you may be insecure, but ask yourself what led up to it.Obviously , and there is no doubt in my mind that your wife has found her love interests else where. No respect for that. why does she keep hanging on to the marriage....well thats simple. she is insecure herself. It appears to me she loves the thrill of it all. I don't usually take the man's side in these issues, but u seem to be a genuine committed spouse. Look at it this way you have 25 years invested in this marriage.Now take stock of it and ask yourself whats important. When you have finally had enough you will leave the marriage.My opinion is you will be a better man for it. you may want to revisit your doctor ,or get a second opinion concerning your medication.Albeit, its important that you take charge of your life now.....remember if this marriage is important to her she will change her ways.
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