Author RealityCheck Posted June 9, 2006 Author Posted June 9, 2006 So I'd like to see the comparison stats on people who are 'happily single'? I think the problem is that in our society today...EVERYONE is unhappy, with just a few exceptions. I don't think that this is symptomatic of marriage...it's symptomatic of our society in general. That's why everyone's being treated for depression, ED, you name it. Hmmm....yes, I would like to see the stats on that as well! I think I will look into that and post once I know! For me, I'd rather be unhappy single without the compounded unhappiness of another. That is one heavy monkey on my back. As far as being single. I have my moments, but certainly not days, weeks, months and years of being unhappy like I was in my marriage.
silktricks Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 So I'd like to see the comparison stats on people who are 'happily single'? I think the problem is that in our society today...EVERYONE is unhappy, with just a few exceptions. I don't think that this is symptomatic of marriage...it's symptomatic of our society in general. That's why everyone's being treated for depression, ED, you name it. I think people today are no different from people yesterday, last year, last century or last millennium. The problem is that our EXPECTATIONS are different. We've been fed this pap of "happily ever after" through the television for a ridiculous number of years, and we've been stupid enough to actually believe it. Happiness isn't a permanent state. It's an emotion and emotions change constantly. Emotions depend on what we eat and drink. How much exercise we get, what time of the month (women) it is. Whatever hormones we've got kickin' around in our bodies, has a lot to do with how "happy" we are at that moment. The problem is that married people think they have someone to blame when they are unhappy. Single people know that it resides with them (but then many single people blame their unhappiness on the fact that they aren't married). For that matter that's what our society is REALLY good at - blaming somebody, anybody, for whatever. OK, now I think I'm off the thread. Be happy :laugh:
Jessie61 Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 I think people today are no different from people yesterday, last year, last century or last millennium. The problem is that our EXPECTATIONS are different. We've been fed this pap of "happily ever after" through the television for a ridiculous number of years, and we've been stupid enough to actually believe it. OK, now I think I'm off the thread. I totally agree with you about what you say about expectations. As for being off the thread, I know exactly how you feel coz I keep loosing my script too!!!
Guest Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 my $0.02 - I think marriage kills the romance, no matter how many hokey retreats with techniques there are- reality is HARD. I have been divorced for 6 years now, and you know what, my ex-H and I are more "in love" now than ever. But, we only talk once a month or so!!!! It's not a real relationship (just like the A). I don't consider the reminiscing wrong, it is usually just an inside joke thrown in when we discuss the kids, but it is comforting to know that as bad as it was it wasn't all bad. And the kids benefit because we can chat occassionally. It also makes me want to go after child support less, which means less battles for them. I am getting off subject- but reality is is that we were ready to kill each other in the marriage and now, even my mom says there is that "look" when we see each other. But we have absolutely no illusions that we could actually put up with each other on a daily basis. Things like him getting a ticket and driving up the car insurance rates are of no consequence to me now, so i can love him for who he is. Anyway, knowing that, I know I can't do marriage- I'll always be looking for that romance of an uncomplicated relationship and a marriage will never live up to that!!!!! I'm done. Now, if I could just find a nice "unavailable" (ie, doesn't interfere with my time with my kids) guy that is not married, we'd all be good........
Author RealityCheck Posted June 11, 2006 Author Posted June 11, 2006 For me, I still maintain that marriage is way over rated and yes the expectation and/or "idea" of what marriage should be is not realistic. Just like raising kids....its no Gerber Commercial! Marriage is work! Hard freakin work! For me, I have enough responsibilities with raising my kids, career and domestic responsibilites that I have come to a place in my life, that ONE casual partner would be my perfect world. It is not about lack of committment, because I am totally committed to my kids and career! I just want balance!
movinon05 Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 I feel everyone has a different standard of what love should be and different tolerances to what they are prepared to fight for! For me, I do want my equal. Finding that would mean "equality" in a partnership. Sure as hell would make the bumpy ride less painful and stressful. Does it exist? Who knows! This has been awesome feedback! *looks around thread* Where's MO!!! Huh? You talking to me? lol! Sorry babe, as stated by Jessie I was in a bit of a pickle. And I did see that most people were covering all the angles on this one as to why they don't work, so I would've just been redundant. Having said that, marriage can be very satisfying long term. But I've now found myself open to the possibility that having a LTR and living with someone without the piece of paper would be just fine with me too. I just want one - hopefully for the rest of my life - is that too much to ask???
Jessie61 Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 But I've now found myself open to the possibility that having a LTR and living with someone without the piece of paper would be just fine with me too. I just want one - hopefully for the rest of my life - is that too much to ask??? No it isn't, MO.... No it isn't...
movinon05 Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 Hey Jessie, I told your World Cup buddy you were looking for her. She said to say hello. She's watching all the games.
Jessie61 Posted June 11, 2006 Posted June 11, 2006 Hey Jessie, I told your World Cup buddy you were looking for her. She said to say hello. She's watching all the games. Thank you!!! I had a little suspicion that she would be glued to the screen....
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