that_kid Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Hi, How do we deal with different neatness standards? I am neater than her but I don'twant to do all the work? Tony
whichwayisup Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Get a cleaning lady to come once every 2 weeks or so. Sadly, some (myself included) are procrastinators and really don't mind some clutter. Clean is one thing, but clutter is another. I just can't get myself to throw stuff out, organize papers that have piled up. I'm a shover! In the drawer, or put in plastic bag - I'll deal with it later. My husband isn't as bad as I am, but he does do it too - Just not like I do. He has accepted this about me. Once in a while, he'll offer to "help" me get started and that helps...So, maybe ask her if she needs some help to get motivated cleaning up. Once you start it's easy to keep going for an hour or so.
bab Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 My husband is WAY cleaner than I am, but like WWIU if we start together then I'll keep it up for awhile. Granted that means you will probably be cleaning more on average, but not all the time.
quankanne Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 reach an agreement on what is acceptable/won't bug you (some clutter) and what isn't (pigsty). My housekeeping isn't the best, dustbunnies live carefree in our home, and there's often stuff piled on the dining room table or island in the kitchen, but DH knows that like clockwork, I'll do laundry once a week and make sure the dishwasher runs (and is emptied) every couple of days. He monitors the cat-box and the yard on a very regular basis, too, so the clutter really doesn't bug us much. I don't know how I'd cope living with someone who was a neat-nik, nor they with me!
BeFree Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Tony,,,hmmm. I'm scared. That's my Bf's name and we have the same issue. He's neat I'm not as neat. hmmm....
jonesgirly Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Tony I'm a neat-freak too, but have become much less 'anal' in this area in the last 10 years. Maybe its age, maybe its determining what is 'important'. I don't know whether or not you have kids, but I can remember a time when I would make my kids bed and clean her room everyday! I told myself that I did it because my standards for a clean and neat home were much higher than hers (obviously), so why force 'my' standards onto another person? Well, yeah, but at the same time, I would send the message that 'you are a slob' to my kid. So, I stopped, and I learned how to close her bedroom door. If she can live in it, have at it. There is a certain amount of 'control' issue involved with having 'everything in its place' too. I totally understand that, and realize that when the house is a mess, my WHOLE life feels like its in chaos. At some time, you will learn to seperate 'things' from 'stuff' and realize whats really important about your life. It helped me to think about how my kid might think about her mom when she was older - yeah, the house was perfectly neat, but I could never really 'relax' and paint the walls The biggest thing to me was recognizing that "MY" standards were much higher than anyone elses' in my household, and if I wanted things "my" way, I'd be spending a lot of late nights straightening everything I thought was out of order, instead of relaxing with my family. Priorities. And I still have to have all the towels folded in a 'certain' way. Some things just never change.
RarePearl Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Until I graduated, I was very messy. Then I started living with my ex-husband and I suddenly became very neat and clean. But then I got two kids and now I never see the house clean. On one hand, I hate cleaning, on the other hand, I can't live in a mess. It's usually somewhere in the middle. The idea with the motivation is great. I also think that NOT making a mess is a much better option than cleaning it up afterwords. You can't clean up as fast as you can make piles of junk around. I can't teach my kids to not drop their toys and clothes everywhere as they naturally "seed them on the floor," but you can definitely teach an adult to control their actions. Junk paper should go in the trash immediately, not pile on the table. Dishes should go to the dishwasher as soon as people are done eating and beds should be made right after waking up. Also, every little thing she gets she should put back as soon as she's done using it. That's the only way to keep the place neat without cleaning for hours at once. Another good motivation tip is to decide to clean for only 10 or 15 min. whatever you clean within that time, leave the rest.
Love Hurts Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 You do your own laundry.................... and let her do hers. The rest of the house is up to whats important to each of you. If you like things arranged just so............. you dust and place knikknaks. She can do floors. Take turns doing the bath ... Other major prodjects of deep cleaning you can team up on. Organization......... you may have a way of stacking cans with labels in alphabetical order........ she may just stock shelves to empty a grocerie bag. Some things may be overwhelming to her. Allow her to be who she is... if she is a little messy as appose to you. Focus on your side of the room or your droors being neat that day. Working it out,,, trying to be more one..........still each will maintain a little to alot of who you are individually. Practice makes perfect.
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