dgiirl Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 So, I need some help with my anxiety. I know my reaction is not normal, but any time any guy shows just the slightest bit of interest, my heart starts racing and I think i'm having an anxiety attack. I start worrying about everything, why it wont work, i start looking for all their flaws, what I will say if such and such happens, etc. I fear they like me a lot more than I like them. I fear hurting or being accused of leading someone on. I know I'm sabatoging myself because of the way I'm acting and the things I say. And then I feel so much better when they back off and go away because the anxiety dies down. However, I dont want to be like this, I dont want to be alone, I just cant overcome the anxiety I feel. For the last few days my heart has been pounding away and I have this urge to run away. I hate this feeling but I cant seem to relax.
basscatcher Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 So, I need some help with my anxiety. I know my reaction is not normal, but any time any guy shows just the slightest bit of interest, my heart starts racing and I think i'm having an anxiety attack. I start worrying about everything, why it wont work, i start looking for all their flaws, what I will say if such and such happens, etc. I fear they like me a lot more than I like them. I fear hurting or being accused of leading someone on. I know I'm sabatoging myself because of the way I'm acting and the things I say. And then I feel so much better when they back off and go away because the anxiety dies down. However, I dont want to be like this, I dont want to be alone, I just cant overcome the anxiety I feel. For the last few days my heart has been pounding away and I have this urge to run away. I hate this feeling but I cant seem to relax. I'm like this. I'm strong, stable, independant, together and all when I'm myself.. As soon as a man enters the picture--I fall apart. I become, insecure, panic, lose my self worth, feel inadequate, feel like I'm not good enough, on guard, feel like I'm going to be lied too, cheated on, manipulated, used, taken advantage of. It takes a strong man to deal with me. If he lasts the first few months and breaks through my insecurities then its pretty much smooth sailing unless he becomes someone I don't find interesting, smart, entertaining, outgoing, laidback, understanding, sweet, kind, affectionate, loving, and doesn't share similiar interests. Communication is a biggie for me too because I am open. Why do I become unstable with a man and I'm stable with myself? Complicated.
kitten chick Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I have the same problem. That's why I feel that I'm happier without a relationship and won't get into one again. I'd rather be happy than in a relationship. There are things you can do though. CBT was designed exactly for these types of problems. If you don't want to do therapy you can pick up one of the David Burns books. His book Intimate Connections is supposed to be great for this problem but I haven't read it.
Author dgiirl Posted June 8, 2006 Author Posted June 8, 2006 Thanks KC, i'll definitely look for that book. I'm seriously thinking about going back into therapy, but at this specific moment, my life is so stressful and chaotic that I dont want to go into therapy. There's a high possibility I will be moving in the next month, so I'd rather find a therapist that I can stay with for a longer time.
Outcast Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Pretend they're just human beings. Seriously. Do you not question all this reaction to another mere mortal? They're not demigods or idols - just human persons. Once you manage to realize that, you'll not be so terrified by them.
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