menchi Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 lemme start at the begining. me and nick have been together for about a year and a half total. (we broke up late december of 2004) and lemme explain why that happened. in september, i cheated on him with an ex while i was very, very drunk. i told him less than a few hours later and he was completely shcoked, heartbroken, hurt... i couldnt believe i made him feel that way. then he made a huge act of forgiveness and took me back. things seemed fine until i found a folder on his computer in early dec named "chat chicks". i looked inside and found many pictures of girls, i mean A TON of pictures. about a 1/4 were nude, and one of the girls was 14. (he was 22 at the time) we had problems, he kept lying to me about other stuff that i kept discovering throughout the month, he would only reveal what i had discovered. then in late dec he dumped me. speed on to sept of 05. we get back together and move in together. i felt like thigns have been going great until earlier this week, i found he was looking at porn, possibly chatting with girls again (maybe underage), and masturbating to them and to the memory of porn he had in the past. he claimed he did it cuzx i gained weight. needless to say i am still very hurt about it. tonight a friend from myspace wanted to hang out so i picked him up and we came to our place. (nick is in seattle for job reasons overnight). we played video games and he suddenly asked "wanna have sex?". (rather blunt right?) well i put a good hour of thought into this and i decided that im not doing it for revenge, but in hopes that we will not fight about what has happened anymore because of what i did and id feel like i have no place to bitch at him. so.. we had sex. no intimacy, no feeling whatsoever, we didnt even kiss. now i want to wipe the slate clean with nick, any infidelity or lies or anything in the past is gone, we forgive, we move on. but my question is: should i tell him what i did? i know what im going to hear but i feel like i should hear it anyway. i do love him more than anything and i wanted to make it so i dont start fights with him over what he did... now i wont, i know that already, but i feel guilty a bit. i hate the fights because also one fight he pushed me into a video rack and it broke one of the wooden bars and my forehead is bruised and my head split open just behind the hairline about an inch long. and besidses that, i hate fighting. anyways, i just decided i will tell him once he gets home, but please people, i need words of encouragement and advice, please.
stacym75 Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 cheated on him with an ex while i was very, very drunk. (qoute) so.. we had sex. no intimacy, no feeling whatsoever(qoute) To me there is alot more going on with u as well,Yes maybe he needs to lay off the porn and the internet stuff,but just to have sex with someone to basically get even doesn't work .How can u start over when u have sex with someone to have a clean slate.There isn't no clean slate that way.This situation needs alot more help than i think anyone can give on here.
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