eyeswideshut Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Ok... the wife is gone. Those of you who have followed my posts, you know what I'm talking about here. Now I was supposed to get my act together before the wife was gone, but then I appealed to Old Europe's advice on how to do the big MOTHER of NC and now I'm a big scaredy-cat. Yesterday, I saw him accidentally on my way to the subway, and was in a total rush, so I felt super awful because it almost looked like I was angry at "bumping into him". OE advised to wait until he contacts me and then ask for him to meet briefly and tell him what I am about to do. But...... here's my mind going berserk; 1) it's easier to ignore him when I'm like this 2) If I see him I will want to go for drinks or coffee, and then I will end up wanting to sleep with him for one last time 3)it'll take me an eternity to chose the perfect dumping outfit. 4) I want to bury my face in the sand. 5) I just want to be friends?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! 6) WTF is wrong with another light email? In his email, he was "again" so sweet. Asking me out on an official date, going by the RULES by asking two weekends in advance. F***!!!!!!!!!!! If I ignore his email, he'll just keep writing. Or phone. I think I ought to do this face to face. If I email his "light" email, with a "i want to talk" he will know what I will want to talk about. If I email "okay let's do something" with the intention of breaking up it will seem devious. I'm sick of the roller coaster ride. But jumping off consciously is scarier! Can't I just close my eyes???? BLARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!! what to do.. what to do... GRLSS. Especially those of you who have been all nice for too long and then have been NCed by HIM, (which i suspect will happen eventually if I just go along) please give me strength and tips on how to approach this!!! I do want NC, I AM ready now. It's just I wish it was done already and I wouldn't have to talk about it anymore. :mad:
bevybaby Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Hi, EWS, I am a newbie and going through some painful s*** right now with my so called NC. All I keep saying to myself whenever he throws the bone my way is "this effort is just temporary." It's all short term, whatever he does. Could you just e-mail and say, "I appreciate the invitation, but it's not convenient for me. When you're 'available' I will be too." I don't know, it says NC without screaming it and you wont have to be tempted to see him. But I know you probably want him to see the perfect you! The best thing he's ever had just one last time, but it's just not worth your hurt feelings. You're too good for that! Look in the mirror and say "I'm too good for this!" I hope I helped a little. I'm in the muck now so I dont have much to offer. SMILE!!
Jessie61 Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 EWS, Read OE's recent posts. Over and over and over again. Until you know them off by heart. That is my best piece of advice.
movinon05 Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 EWS, Read OE's recent posts. Over and over and over again. Until you know them off by heart. That is my best piece of advice. Agreed. Print her old one and the new ones. Read them over slowly, let each point sink in, and then read them again. No one puts it better or answers your questions better.
rossm Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 EWS: I went through the same thing. It is a tough process for sure. Take baby steps. You've come to the realization that your situation isn't working *check*. You've decided that NC is the right thing to do *check*. Now you just need to do it. But deciding to finally pull the trigger is the hardest part. I had so many chances to do it (tell her that I wanted NC). I told myself, the the next time she calls, the next time she IMs me, I'm going to tell her. But then when she did contact me the next time, it brought back those feelings, and I chickened out. Several posts to LS later, I realized that I was the one who needed to be strong and just do it. So one day, I held firm and did it. Was it hard? Yes. It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, taking a step off, and hoping there is a net somewhere below. But you know what, it felt so liberating! Like a giant weight was lifted off of me. The aftermath was difficult, to be perfectly honest. You still have the feelings, you will still think of them, but the outlet for expressing those feelings is gone. You'll be sad, but you still need to be strong. I imagne that it's like trying to kick a drug addiction cold turkey. I guess, bottom line, you'll probably walk up to the edge of that cliff and look over the edge a few times, maybe many times, and then back off. When you're truly ready, deep down, (you'll know when), you'll finally do it. Hang in there!
RealityCheck Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Hi, EWS, I am a newbie and going through some painful s*** right now with my so called NC. All I keep saying to myself whenever he throws the bone my way is "this effort is just temporary." It's all short term, whatever he does. Could you just e-mail and say, "I appreciate the invitation, but it's not convenient for me. When you're 'available' I will be too." I don't know, it says NC without screaming it and you wont have to be tempted to see him. But I know you probably want him to see the perfect you! The best thing he's ever had just one last time, but it's just not worth your hurt feelings. You're too good for that! Look in the mirror and say "I'm too good for this!" I hope I helped a little. I'm in the muck now so I dont have much to offer. SMILE!! EWS.... I think this is very good sound advice. When I went NC, I was never rude or ignorant. What's the point really! You definately can go NC in a pleasent way. For me, I figured if I did it nicely and I had a weak moment I could still contact him and not feel horrible about myself. If I was nasty, I would have looked really silly! Good Luck Dolly!!!
stillafool Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 In my humble opinion, I think you should not meet him and not see him if you can. That definitely puts you back at ground zero, or would me. To be rude in any way will just make you seem bitter.
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