Ever been OK with a breakup?

[Kittiecat]

There are so many heartbreaking posts here, and while I feel so terrible for the posters who are going through a rough time, it also makes feel a little weird about my own breakup. I've hardly cried since it ended nearly two months ago. At work I manage to be pretty cheerful and friendly with everyone. I've tried hard to stick to a routine which includes morning workouts three or four times per week, spending time with my family and socializing with friends. Yes, I have done some backsliding -- contacted the FWB, whined incessantly to my mother about the fact that "I'll die alone," got drunk and obnoxious a few times, got drunk and not-so-obnoxious the other times , etc. Other than those things, I'd say I'm doing relatively OK.

 

This man and I were together for 2 years, and this was the longest relationship I've ever had. I told him I loved him (the first "I love you" I've ever given a man). I THOUGHT that I really did love him - but was I just trying the "L" word on for size? Was I fooling myself? How can I be so blase about this breakup when this was someone I supposedly loved?

 

I don't know - in the back of my mind I knew he wasn't right for me, but I thought that if given the proper amount of time and nurturing he would "grow up" and we'd become more compatible. Stupid, I know!

 

Anyway - that's my blabbler for the evening. What do you think? Ever walk away with no regrets and little pain?

[Diver012]

It always hurts. Either way. I do believe that it hurts more being on the receiving end, but thats natural. The relationship that I was in felt so perfect. SO right. There was passion, understanding, caring.. emotions and feelings were expressed.. feelings like, you are so important to me. I want to spend so many wonderful years with you.. I Love You SO Much ect..

 

3 months later it was over without question. Was that hard, yes. DO I regret it,... NO. I will move on to another relationship, some time, some where... it wont be the same. It never will. It will be wonderfully different. You just have to accept that eventuality, or it will pass you by again and again

 

Lifes to Short..

[Kittiecat]

Thanks. I suppose you are right - I guess it does hurt, maybe just in different ways. It's nice to look look forward to something different and better. You sound so confident that you'll find it. That's great! How do you do that!?

[Diver012]

Thanks. I suppose you are right - I guess it does hurt, maybe just in different ways. It's nice to look look forward to something different and better. You sound so confident that you'll find it. That's great! How do you do that!?

 

There was a woman I was involved with a long time ago. She was intelligent, owned her own business, confident... Looking back now, I know it would have never worked. I did love her so much. She loved me. Age difference was way to great. Yes she was a bit older... but at that point in both our lives, we had something each other needed from one another. I needed to know I was ok to Love, and I think she needed to know it was ok for her to love someone again.

 

It obviously didnt work out... this was 10 years ago. We still talk.. about once a month or so. I fought SO hard for this woman, she taught me so much, I couldnt let her just dissapear. I sacrificed my feelings of romance for her, for feelings of True Friendship. She wouldnt have ever accepted this, if she were not a genuine person. I could call her at 2:am and she would answer thephone if I were in trouble. I will know and care about this woman till the day I die and beyond. No question.

 

You just gotta push your pride down, and accept the things you cant change in life, over the things you can.

 

I think what I am saying in a messed up sort of way, is.. Its your friends in life, that mean to most to us. I hold my friends very very dear to me. I would not be the man that I am without them. Thats all teh confidence I need in life, besides God... and nobody can touch that with a 10 ft pole. I dont care how much someone has hurt you, someone else loves you.

[Big_A]

I dated a woman for about 6 months beofre we split. Then we went though about 3 months of turmoil because we loved each other and wanted things to work. We got back together and about a year later we split up again. The second time was very easy, by then we had learned that while we loved each other (and still do as friends) we just weren't on the same page as bf/gf.

 

So the second break-up wasn't bad. In fact it took both of us less then a month to be on speaking terms and get along just fine.