SadGreenEyes Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Hi everyone My question is this - Is it "normal" for a grown man in his 40's to have female friends who emails him and calls him all the time keeping him on the phone for hours??? Needless to say, this man is my boyfriend of 2 years. He is super friendly and at times can be a flirt. Sometimes I just roll my eyes, other times it pisses me off to the extreme. 2 of these women friends he has known for many years. One is a bit older than he is, is happily married and is considered an old family friend. She is very opinionated, and he shares everything with me, things this woman says, etc. The other long term woman friend of his is around my age, Im in my mid thirties, is single, from what he tells me, she always had a "thing" for him, he said they fooled around once, didnt sleep together though, just made out years and years ago when they were in their teens or something. She is unmarried and has 2 bi-racial children. He claims she is a terrible mother and her kids are out of control. This friend has called him at 2am and have spoken to him for hours upon hours. Both of these women know very well he has a girlfriend that lives with him. I think they, especially the younger one with the 2 kids, are rude as all hell. I think it's impolite and inconsiderate. He has a cousin who lives out in Illinois and his wife calls my boyfriend all the time and yaks to him for hours. He says she is crazy. She as well will call here at 11:30pm and keep him on the phone until the wee hours of the morning. I get beyond pissed off because of my reasons above. I always ask him to ask them that if their husbands or boyfriends had a female friend and she called their husband/boyfriend all the time and kept him on the phone bulls***ting about nothing, if they would mind it? Dp o you think it would upset them? Do you think they would put a stop to it? Yeah, I think so too. How come women like this dont give a s***? I told him to get their husbands numbers for me, or emails, or whatever and I would like to start talking to these men for hours and hours and call them every frigging day, see how they like it. He has told me that lately these women friends told him that they are afraid to call him at home because they are afraid to piss me off, so what do they do? Yup, they call his cell. Duh, Im not stupid, and I see him pull up from working all night, sitting in his car for hours yakking away. Damn it pisses me off to no end. I have male friends whom I have known for many many years...we all used to hang out all the time. We all eventually moved on, found partners, and started with our new adult lives. I do not call these old buddies of mine out of respect for their new lives and for the women in their lives. I try to put the shoe on the other foot. Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Am I wrong? Would any of you women tollerate this?
longlegzs80 Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Hmmm, interesting, interesting, interesting. I don't think your wrong with how you feel. But it sounds like you have a major trust issue and jelousy issue. Which there is nothing wrong with that. I do have a question for you though. Do you have any suspicious feelings like he is cheating on you with one of his friends? WEll, I don't know him or how he is, but since he has been friends with these women longer then having you in his life, wouldn't he choose his friends over you? It sounds to me that you might also have an insecurity issue about yourself, but in your situation with a flirtatious man who is overly friendly with his friends, you have every reason to be worried, jealous, hard to find trust in him and the women he hangs around with etc. Have you talked to your boyfriend about the way you feel? Why does he talk to these women for 2 hours or longer? Who the hell has that much to say to talk to someone for that long. I'd talk to him, get out your feelings and if he doesn't respect what you have to say, then move on. Find a better man. Good luck to you and keep us posted.
Author SadGreenEyes Posted June 8, 2006 Author Posted June 8, 2006 To answer some of your questions, yes I am insecure. I trust him as far as not cheating. I know for a fact that he would never cheat, physically, and I know for a fact that he would never cheat with these women. He is a talker. Heck, our first phone conversation lasted 7 hours! I would never expect any man to drop his friends for me, as I wouldnt want him to ask me to do the same. Im just wondering about common decency, common sense, consideration from these women. I mean who does this? That's what I dont understand. I would never do something like that to anyone of my friends. He is overly friendly. It's part of his nature. He does not hang out with them in person, and if he did, I do trust him, I do not and never was able to trust any woman. Being I am a woman, I know how we work...it frightens me a bit. I can never trust any woman, period. I know he would never do anything, I know his married friend wouldnt do anything, his single friends, I wouldnt put it past them. I have spoken to him about this..he gets mad because I flip out and question, just like you did, what on Earth could be so important that you have to talk about for over 2 hours at 3am???? Rude Rude Rude!!! I ask him, how does he think his female friends would react if it were happening to them. He says, I dont knowwwww. I told him, I assure you, they would NOT LIKE IT! I even asked him, How would you like it if I had a male friend that I talked to for all hours of the night, in my car???? He said, I guess I wouldnt like it, but what am I gonna do? I told him, well, I know what I can do, the next time one of them calls the house I will ask them, except the married one, like I said. She's more of an older sister type to him but very opinionated and doesnt care for me living here with him. I say, its none of her business, the man is 40, he;s an adult, he can make up his own mind, thank you very much. Now these women think Im a bitch. Am I wrong? I dont get it
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