2020vision Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I have had a crush on my older brother's best friend since high school...Typical story. He used to give me rides home from school...Well, it was my birthday the day before yesterday. I was returning my brother's call when his friend picked up. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation before he passed off the phone to my brother. Also, I recently did the whole Myspace thing, much to my dismay...But I guess something good has come of it. MY bro has a myspace and so does his friend... Jump to yesterday-My boss gave me four tickets to a baseball game which happens to be my brother's friends favorite team...So I put two and two together and since my brother did not respond that he wanted to go...I asked his friend via email! He promptly replied with: "I would love to go!" Now, I am just wondering if he thinks I am going to just GIVE him the tickets not go together...Any opinions from a guys perspective?? How do I make it clear that its him and I going together, so he understands that? Because I did not exactly make it very clear by saying something in the original email like "would you like to go with me" I just wrote "Are you a fan?? Because my boss gave me 4 tickets for a game in July" UGH, dating! Or do you think he already assumes that we are going together? Also, would appreciate any thoughts on the fact that hes my brother's best friend....Is this wrong?? Thanks, 2020
jerbear Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 He promptly replied with: "I would love to go!" Now, I am just wondering if he thinks I am going to just GIVE him the tickets not go together...Any opinions from a guys perspective?? How do I make it clear that its him and I going together, so he understands that? Because I did not exactly make it very clear by saying something in the original email like "would you like to go with me" I just wrote "Are you a fan?? Because my boss gave me 4 tickets for a game in July" UGH, dating! Or do you think he already assumes that we are going together? Also, would appreciate any thoughts on the fact that hes my brother's best friend....Is this wrong?? Thanks, 2020 not knowing your older brother, I would assume he might have a problem. If he is a loving brother, he wants you to enjoy life and not hold you back. Not knowing your brother's friend, some guys may hide the fact of having a GF. Also, some guys (me included sometimes) are just oblivious when a girl asks them out. I would suggest calling it a date to remove all assumptions.
j.carsey Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I've been on the other end of this as the "best friend" who almost started dating my friend's little sister. Same kind of thing, I would phone up and talk with the sister before passing off the phone. I would drop by the house hoping to find her home alone, otherwise I'd just chat with my friend. Tricky stuff. I think you should talk to this guy and make it more clear that you will be going together. Don't leave any ambiguity. And as the other person posting said, many of us guys including me are oblivious when a girl asks us out. As for, is it wrong? I would say no, but it can be awkward. Depends on the relationships between brother-sister and friend-friend. It could work, it could not. In my case I did take her out on a pretty serious date, but felt guilty somehow and could tell that my friend was not pleased at all. And I didn't even kiss her. Afterwards I totally chickened out and stopped pursuing her, although if she had phoned me enthusiastically I would have kept at it. P.S. I totally regret this now, I had been flirting with his sister since highschool too and we would have been a perfect match. I think I should have kept at it without being overly concerned about pissing off my friend. We grew distant over the years anyway. Another friend of mine had a very different relationship with his sister. It totally didn't bother him what his sister was up to. So it might not matter at all in your case, I don't know.
Author 2020vision Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 I do agree that I need to make it more clear...But,I was just thinking about this. He lives about 1 1/2 hours away from me....so, I don't think he would want to travel that long just to get tickets, but I guess I just don't know. And, you would think that instead of saying "I would love to go! Let me know the details. It was nice talking to you last night." He would have said, okay, when do you want to give me the tickets?? My problem right now is I sent him an email responding that said "Sounds good! its on blah blah blah date and so forth.." He has not responded. So, I guess I am just playing a waiting game for his reponse. As for my brother, he is really not that protective. So, don't think he would have tooo much of a problem with it, just might think its weird but hopefully he will get over it if things work out... Not knowing your brother's friend, some guys may hide the fact of having a GF Well, I know for a fact that he does not have a gf. I asked my brother about this a couple weeks ago actually.
jerbear Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Good luck. Instead of waiting why not send a quick email to say this is a date? I know the game is in July.
Author 2020vision Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 Thanks! My boss has tickets for the end of June I believe, so I think I am going to trade my boss the July tickets for June tickets and inform my date of this...That way I will not be waiting a month and a half before the event, and it gives me an excuse to email him. I guess if he really did not want to go, he would not have said yes. Man, Dating can be so stressful! But, I guess its a good kind of stress. Thanks again for the advice! I am not good at this asking guys out thing...But my motivation for this was just thinking that sometimes you just have to be brave and put yourself out there to get any results. My previous attempts of just waiting for Prince Charming to fall in my lap have not worked, so why not ya know? -2020
jerbear Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Thanks! My boss has tickets for the end of June I believe, so I think I am going to trade my boss the July tickets for June tickets and inform my date of this...That way I will not be waiting a month and a half before the event, and it gives me an excuse to email him. I guess if he really did not want to go, he would not have said yes. Man, Dating can be so stressful! But, I guess its a good kind of stress. Thanks again for the advice! I am not good at this asking guys out thing...But my motivation for this was just thinking that sometimes you just have to be brave and put yourself out there to get any results. My previous attempts of just waiting for Prince Charming to fall in my lap have not worked, so why not ya know? -2020 Not necessarily, they don't call them FANS when the word fanatic is the base word. Some may go because of the opportunity. Doesn't hurt to ask him out on the June date; getting the june tickets is a good reason to say hi again.
Author 2020vision Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 Not necessarily, they don't call them FANS when the word fanatic is the base word. Some may go because of the opportunity. True..Guess I just need to be realistic about the whole thing. Not get my hopes up too much.
Author 2020vision Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 Well, he sent me an email reply saying that he has marked it on his calendar and we will have to figure out all the details about meeting up and etc... AND he said he hopes to see me before the game. Goodness sakes! Why do I always worry about this kind of crap?? I sit here and get myself all worked up and overanalyze over nothing!!
Sapiens Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Why do I always worry about this kind of crap?? I sit here and get myself all worked up and overanalyze over nothing!! Mmm, maybe 'cus you are a wemin and you gals don't make much sense to us.. j/k -Sapiens
j.carsey Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Mmm, maybe 'cus you are a wemin and you gals don't make much sense to us.. I still love you gals! The world wouldn't be this wonderful without you
Guest Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I was in this situation. My brothers friends asked permission to date me, my brother surprisingly said yes and we have now been together for over a year and live together
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