mystified Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I am In a bind at the moment.... I am involved with a spanish man. At times, we do have our communication problems. I have noticed that I cannot question him about anything without him becoming highly illogical and abrasive, the end result would be him yelling in my face. Any conversation I have with him that he doesnt agree with is over within 3-5 minutes, even if I am not finished with it. If I try to talk more, he will claim that he doesnt feel good, or get up and walk out, sleep, turn up the tv, or in extreme circumstances, yell in my face. The reason I included that he is spanish is because I wonder if maybe the culture is different as far as conversation goes. We are having trust issues. Major trust issues. Sometimes the things he does truly send me into the twilight zone. I question him about it, and his famous response is always the same "you need to trust me". If I try to point out that on this particular issue it is hard to just "trust" him and that I need a little more information than that. He will silently end it right then and there by getting up and walking out, turning on the tv, making a phone call, or not so silently by screaming at me or threatening to leave. I think, in his mind, it really is that cut and dry as "you need to trust me". Any conversation beyond that is null and void. That is his answer for everything. I can barely get out how I feel before that is said. Like I said, 3-5 minutes (if it makes it that long) and then it is over with. Can anyone help me on this? Is this just a culture gap? Or perhaps something I have missed along the way?
quankanne Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 yes, it does sound like a cultural thing – 'machismo,' in a nutshell. Women are somehow inferior to men, and therefore shouldn't question or comment on what a Hispanic male does or says, because then she is undermining him as a person. do you really want to put up with someone who is going to revert to that kind of behavior just because he can?
Author mystified Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 quankanne, Can you possibly explain more on this for me? Do you have experience with this or know someone who does? I am in such a miserable bind because I need to know how to communicate my fears without being shut down in 3-5 minutes. Then end result of almost all of our conversations is me with tears streaming down my face in utter frustration and him fuming in a corner.
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