sirjay Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I have been in a relationshp for most of my adult years, one way or another. They either overlapped, or started soon after the breakup. I just don't like being on my own! What do people think about that? I mean, I had one relationship that overlapped an unhappy one and it went on for 7 years and it was a stable relationship so doesn't that mean it can work?
bab Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Yes. It can work. When I started dating my husband he had just gotten out of a 6 year relationship the previous month. But just be careful that you evaluate the relationship on it's own and not comparing it to the last one.
littlekitty Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 It can work most certainly. My STBH was only out of his relationship for a couple of months when we met. Is his case it was the last in a long line of break ups between them. This meant that he'd been mentally moving out the relationship for a while and was able to gain closure more quickly. I do however think that it can be important to take some time for yourself without a relationship. Especially since you say you have been in a relationship for most of your adult life. It's good to know what makes YOU happy as a single person. I believe it makes for a better relationship in the end.
KMarsh Posted June 9, 2006 Posted June 9, 2006 Does this apply for divorce, as well, or just break ups??? Just asking for opinions....I'm recently divorced (which was completely mutual, uncontested, and after only one year of marriage) and would like to date, but not sure how much time I'll need. I guess all I can do is try it and see, but cautiously.
riobikini Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 I agree with all the posters urging caution, but who recognize (from experience) that so-called overlapping relationships *can* work. The key is having learned *plenty* from the previous relationship, (as well as all other similar experiences) -and not looking at the new relationship through those, perhaps, hurt, and jaded eyes, nor applying all the emotional and mental effects of broken trust to it. It's important to have effectively dealt with the worst of your previous breakup trauma -physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially- *before* you proceed to make new commitments, even though you may have already begun the new relationship. There is a period of transition that appears to be overlapping; it's simply the period just before the door to the old relationship closes, -finally. There are lots of folks who have known for some time -maybe for months, or even years- that their current relationship was coming to a close, and have had plenty of time to come to terms with the idea. Having that time makes it easier to progress into the new relationship, even with *full* closure of the previous one still not acheived. One other aspect of this is also situations where there is a mutual agreement between partners in the first relationship to end it, facilitating the formation of a new relationship, -for one or both of the first two partners. There's normally less drama and less likelihood of guilt feelings in mutual agreements to end it. -Rio
Brittanyjean06 Posted June 10, 2006 Posted June 10, 2006 Yes they can work, I had a 3 year relationship and a year ago we broke it off abrutly...and a week later he had a new girlfriend, and has been with her ever since Sometimes others fall out of love with you, or like she said know that it's coming to an end soon, and are smart like that...me well I didn't handel it too well. They have been together for almost a year now, but the bad thing about starting a relationship right after one, is not having your own time to see what you want and who you are.
toonicegirl Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 i was with my last boyfriend for about 6 months... at the end we kind of stopped talking...i thought i gave him a break but he started dating a new girl... they are together about 2.5 months now and they are already having problems...and about 3 weeks ago he intitiated contact with me... i dont think his new relationship's gonna last.... i hope not
Diver012 Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 It depends on where your head is at. If your running into one relationship, to get away from another, then you have a problem. If you are in a relationship because you are afraid of being alone, well theres a basic need for human companionship. I feel it. I want it. My heads not in the right place yet. I know this. I will move on slowly and cautiously until my heart is ready to let go again. I will not replace a lost love, with another to fill its place. I will wait until my heart is ready to love another.
GW7147 Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 How about this scenario: My ex was married for 15 years, seperated from her husband, 2 months later met a guy and spoke of marriage 2 months into the relationship. Broke up with him after 4 months, met me 2 months later, spoke of marriage 1 1/2 months into the relationship, broke up with me after 6 months and 1 month later, met her current boyfriend. Now, a month into that relationship, she talking marraige again. I understand rebound relationships can and do work but, I think my ex is the exception in this case. I think she's a real mess!! Just thought I'd give another perspective on things. GW
Brittanyjean06 Posted July 6, 2006 Posted July 6, 2006 I think it all depends on why you are entering that relationship, Some people move on in to rebounds to get over another and gain feelings for the OP, but isn't that kind sad knowing you got with them to get over another ? I meen yeah they can work, but you can also be patient take time for your self, Thats if you have enough respect for your self to wait, and to see what you like Being in a relationship your " whole life" Is not healthy at all, your not finding out who you are and what you want, and It just says your needy right? But those of you who are happy with relationships and rebounds than thats fine, were all different. I can tell I am one of those people who takes breaks in between relationships and doesn't rebound, just because I would feel worse doing that but than again we are all different.
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