lonelybird Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Please don't laugh or think this is personal to someone, Recently I am in a hateman mood, I know it is not healthy. I alway envy those couples who in a loving relationship, wonder why I cannot be. I am in struggle and feel very lonely. I am dating a man cross half earth, he usually make contact two or two and a half week. I was fine before, but recently I feel anger. Somehow I know people would say "he is not that into you" blah blah.. Sometimes I think I am better be alone, no man would hurt me and feel good about myself. no cheating, no drama, and not necessary to compare with other women... but other times I am afraid of loneliness, would think how sweet would be if with someone I love, and share things with him. I guess I am depressed these days... and thank you for listening
ronnieromance Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Try dating men who live near you. Ummm, yeah, what he said. MAybe if you're depressed and not feeling like going out a dating site would be a good way to put some feelers out into the ether and interact. WebDate is great for that because, aside from personals, they have chatrooms full of likeminded people. If I didn't dump her for voting for voting for Bush, I could say I met my love on WebDate...But I'm single again. LOL. -R-
Author lonelybird Posted June 8, 2006 Author Posted June 8, 2006 yes, that's my problem too. I didn't feel sparkle for the men near me although I can be friends with them. I tried before, or they wanted to settle down soon, or they thought I should be more fit into the society (like others). We think differently Once a Aus man came to see me, he was friendly good guy, but he was too friendly to the girls in the street, I thought he could run with those girls if he had a chance, so I told him I could be friend with him, but cannot fall in love with him. I didn't really be in a serious relationship before. two I think I had (have) are LDR, both are more than one year. Sometimes I think I am the one who has problems;) Date men near me maybe is not an option Maybe when I travel I could meet one:)
Artscrafter Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Sometimes I think I am better be alone, no man would hurt me and feel good about myself. no cheating, no drama, and not necessary to compare with other women... but other times I am afraid of loneliness, would think how sweet would be if with someone I love, and share things with him. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me like you're trying to be in a relationship that gives you as much space to do your own thing as it's possible to have, but at the same time some part of you wishes that said relationship could develop into something really worthwhile. Almost like you're doing the LDR thing so as to have a token relationship for the sake of having one. The issue with that is that if you ever do decide that you want the relationship to be something bigger, you'll have to work extremely hard to make it work (for starters, one or the other of you would have to move halfway around the world.) You should first ask yourself what you're getting out of this relationship, and then decide, based on whether you can come up with anything better than "so I can say I'm in one," whether it's worth staying in it. Because if you can't, the answer is probably no. And then you need to do some self-searching. Your suspicion of men generally being nothing more than a source of drama and cheating probably comes either from your past experiences or your friends' suggestions. I'd recommend you try to make peace with whichever of these it is. By yourself. And then learn to enjoy life by yourself. It's a cliche, I know, but the really good relationships usually become possible when you're not looking for them.
Author lonelybird Posted June 8, 2006 Author Posted June 8, 2006 I didn't mean "men generally being nothing more than a source of drama and cheating", I've seen mine cousin's caring loyal boyfriend, and other friends'. Just in my case, when I begin to care, if they show any interest in other girls, I feel insecure, and usually I think I am a secure girl. In fact I have been single for a long time (7 years), and did fine by myself. But I want a meaningful relationship also. I guess I am lazy sometimes. think if meet someone right, then no struggle, no hard work, everything just can fall into places. Happy couples do not necessary work so hard? Another thing, man and woman are so different. When you are careless, man chase you; when you feel close to him, he become distant. and when man cannot meet my needs, I became frustrate that I want to walk away without tell him why because I don't want him to think I am pathetic. so when is the right timing that both can feel close? maybe become good friend first then begin from there is a good solution.
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