buzzie2 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I have been friends with a married man for about 3 years and we have never crossed the line. I knew him and his wife before they moved last year. I thought of him as one of my closest friends- he was someone I could always talk to. Well yesterday we got into a big fight on msn messanger and it was so stupid. He messangered me first and then I told him I missed him (because since he moved to another province I maybe see him once a year). Well then he made a comment I took offence to. He said "I'm a married man". Then I said I knew and just as friends. I was upset and said we shouldnt talk anymore. I disconneted and I think the last thing he said was "why"? Well later I emailed him and apologized for disconnecting; but told him my reason was that his comment that he was a married man made it sound like he thought I wanted an affair with him. I assured him I was not like that and told him I would never have an affair with a married man because my mom cheated on my dad; and that I took great offense to his comment. Then I said I hoped we could still be friends. I thought he would have respected me for what I said but instead in coldly responded "good bye". He gave me no explanation either- rather odd for someone you'd be close friends with for 3 years. I thought he was my friend- surely a true friend would understand this. Now he has completely shut me out. He won't answer his phone when I call. I left a very sad message asking him to please for me so we could work this out. I was in tears and he never called. I also left two emails apologizing and saying the whole thing was a misunderstanding and that he was the best friend I ever had and can we work this out. He is not responding. So back to my original question: do you think he just wanted an affair the whole time? Why else would he be acting this way? And don't you think he is being childish? He is 45 and I am 28/
allina Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 No, I don't think he wants an affair, I think you made him uncomfortable and that he is being respectful to his wife. Stop calling and e-mailing him, leave him alone! Calling the guy in tears and e-mailing non stop is creepy. He IS married.
elijahBailey Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I'm sorry all this happened, but I agree too that he wasn't lookin' for an affair. Everything he did indicates that he think you've crossed the line. Had he been lookin' for one, he wouldn't have shut you out. You gotta get a grip on yourself and move on.
catgirl1927 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I agree with the other posters, you crossed the line of creepiness with the calls and tears and out of respect for his wife he's staying away.
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I have been friends with a married man for about 3 years and we have never crossed the line. I knew him and his wife before they moved last year. I thought of him as one of my closest friends- he was someone I could always talk to. Well yesterday we got into a big fight on msn messanger and it was so stupid. He messangered me first and then I told him I missed him (because since he moved to another province I maybe see him once a year). Well then he made a comment I took offence to. He said "I'm a married man". Good for him. You said you missed him and his answer to you was "I'm a married man." Which means, he IS NOT going to say he misses you back. Even if he is missing you, it would be very inappropriate for him to say it to you because he has a wife. You know her too. I mean, how do you think she would feel if she knew you were saying things like that to him? He is putting his wife's feelings first. Rightfully so. You should respect him now, he's more or less in action told you he doens't want to keep intouch. I know it probably hurts, but in this situation, you two being so close isn't a good thing. You're TOO emotionally attached to him - He knows this and I'm sure his wife wouldn't be happy to find out that you have intimate feelings for her husband. Leave him alone, just try to remember that this has happened because he is married. He did the right thing, even if it has hurt you.
typical Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Hhhrrmmm... I wonder if maybe it wasnt the WIFE that responded to you in IM.....and email.... Nevertheless, dont get all hopeful...it was probably just the husbands way of doing the right thing though he did go about it a bit coldly. I left a very sad message asking him to please for me so we could work this out. I was in tears and he never called. ... Seriously, this sounds a bit obsessive, dont you think? His one comment of him being a married man resulted in you leaving tearful messages and desperate emails? Work what out? The fact that he is married? All he did was state the obvious and you freaked....hrrrmmmm
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