SHortyAnGel Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Just a small question. Is it okay to LIE to your MM & say that you starting to see someone in a romantic way??... This is one of my MM fears that he has admited me to me that i would find someone better than him & was able to give me what he cant give me... as in an ACTUAL R?.... just wandering if anyone has tried this to get over MM???????....
babydoll_mimi Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Just a small question. Is it okay to LIE to your MM & say that you starting to see someone in a romantic way??... This is one of my MM fears that he has admited me to me that i would find someone better than him & was able to give me what he cant give me... as in an ACTUAL R?.... just wandering if anyone has tried this to get over MM???????.... I haven't tried this yet...maybe I should. It could work... I have noticed that when I mention other men hitting on me, trying to talk to me, etc., it does seem to bother him some, but he tries to play it off. I've never thought of admitting/ or lying about an actual relationship beginning w/ some other guy. Hmm... good luck to you if you try it!
movinon05 Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Personally, that seems to me to be playing games. And if there's one thing I can't stand, its playing games in a relationship. You either date or you don't. If you've left him, its none of his business. Telling him that to try to get him to change his mind about his M, isn't going to amount to anything either. Its all mind games. Being involved with a MM is serious stuff. And all the cards should be out on the table. If you really do want to date, do it. And he will just have to deal with it. I heard the same thing from my MM even though I didn't even bring up dating. He was afraid guys would hit on me and he'd lose me. Fat lot of good that did for me too, huh? They want their cake. This is how they reel you in. You're supposed to feel sorry for them. DON'T BUY IT!! He's not worried about you when he's with his W as well! It goes both ways, but they just don't think it applies to them!
scarletletter Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 No question is stupid. Personally, I wouldn't do that because I do agree that it is playing childish games and in the long run, you will probably suffer for it. Maybe you really should start dating other men and then you will have your answer to how it will affect him.
RealityCheck Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Just a small question. Is it okay to LIE to your MM & say that you starting to see someone in a romantic way??... This is one of my MM fears that he has admited me to me that i would find someone better than him & was able to give me what he cant give me... as in an ACTUAL R?.... just wandering if anyone has tried this to get over MM???????.... Hey Dolly!!! I have and did! It really f*cks with their head! Love it! Hell! Why wouldn't I, he certainly has f*cked with mine enough! No guilt here! Muahhhhhhhhhhhh
BUTAFLY Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I have actually went on dates with other men in the hopes of getting over exmm but I was just using them, I was not ready and ended up hurting one guy and waisting the others time. But I have to say when he would call me I would tell him I only had few minutes because my date was on his way. It drove him crazy. the next day at work he would fish for details. serves him right.
Jessie61 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Just a small question. Is it okay to LIE to your MM & say that you starting to see someone in a romantic way??... This is one of my MM fears that he has admited me to me that i would find someone better than him & was able to give me what he cant give me... as in an ACTUAL R?.... just wandering if anyone has tried this to get over MM???????.... Hmmmm......... I am not sure about this. It is a game and I never liked games. I would always be worried that a game could come back and bite you in the a**... So instead of lying about dates, why don't you go on a real date instead???? Not to ruffle MM's feathers, but for your OWN sake..?
Guest Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Hmmmm......... I am not sure about this. It is a game and I never liked games. I would always be worried that a game could come back and bite you in the a**... So instead of lying about dates, why don't you go on a real date instead???? Not to ruffle MM's feathers, but for your OWN sake..? Jess.... You know I love you dearly... Honestly, how many times do the OW's feathers get ruffled. I don't believe a simple white lie can ever over power the crap we go through. What ever works! I know what you are saying about games, but an A is a game. Until the Divorce papers are filed that is the game of choice.
RealityCheck Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Hmmmm......... I am not sure about this. It is a game and I never liked games. I would always be worried that a game could come back and bite you in the a**... So instead of lying about dates, why don't you go on a real date instead???? Not to ruffle MM's feathers, but for your OWN sake..? Jess....You know I love you Dearly BUT.... Until the Divorce papers are filed, an affair is a game. I really don't believe a little white lie to someone who is committed is such a serious offence. Don't get me wrong, I don't like games either but until the Wife and OW are out of the mouse trap......let the "Cat Pant"....
Jessie61 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Jess....You know I love you Dearly BUT.... Until the Divorce papers are filed, an affair is a game. I really don't believe a little white lie to someone who is committed is such a serious offence. Don't get me wrong, I don't like games either but until the Wife and OW are out of the mouse trap......let the "Cat Pant".... Well, perhaps I was never any good at the games, and therefore they never worked...? I remember when I split up with the BF before MM entered the scene. He was ringing me for months afterwards and I just wanted him to leave me alone. I then "invented" a boyfriend, telling my exBF how incredibly happy I was with "Paul" thinking it might stop the phone calls... Well, my exBF rang me a week later and asked me how Paul was, and I replied "Paul, who???" coz I had forgotten completely...... As Homer Simpson would say.... DOH!!!!!
RealityCheck Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Well, perhaps I was never any good at the games, and therefore they never worked...? I remember when I split up with the BF before MM entered the scene. He was ringing me for months afterwards and I just wanted him to leave me alone. I then "invented" a boyfriend, telling my exBF how incredibly happy I was with "Paul" thinking it might stop the phone calls... Well, my exBF rang me a week later and asked me how Paul was, and I replied "Paul, who???" coz I had forgotten completely...... As Homer Simpson would say.... DOH!!!!! *laughing* Your funny! Jess, a BF is much differnet than a committed MM. Love you girl!
Jessie61 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 *laughing* Your funny! Jess, a BF is much differnet than a committed MM. Love you girl! Yes, but the wish to be left alone is the same... Now 5 years later the exBF is still ringing....!!! So that's how badly the plan backfired!!!! Mind you, I am totally mad about him... and he's just MAD, plain and simple!!!!
Jessie61 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Yes, but the wish to be left alone is the same... Somebody please help me, I just realised that I sounded like Greta Garbo saying that..... !!!!
RealityCheck Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Somebody please help me, I just realised that I sounded like Greta Garbo saying that..... !!!! *Slam Dunk* So you see the BF wants you back even after the little "white lie".... There you go! For Gosh Sakes Jess! Let's change your user ID to "Greta" *laughing* SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH
Author SHortyAnGel Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 Thanks Peoples!.... I think i will try that.... either way it would go my way right?..As in it pushes he towards me or away... either way..... its okay... i just cant do NC & neither can he.... & maybe this is the only way to go... Because i know he know that i do have guys friends & that is bad enough BUT imagine if i say that i acutally am starting to develop feelings for this guy & that i am thinking my life through... get it?... whatcha think??... i know it playn games... BUT hey..i am playing the game now...& have been playing for the past 2 years... like monoploy let me pass go!... Rite???
j.carsey Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 If you start using other people to play complicated games, and drag along several people and hurt all of them just to get what you want ... you are going to be exposed as the manipulative assh_le you are and bad things will happen to you
RealityCheck Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 If you start using other people to play complicated games, and drag along several people and hurt all of them just to get what you want ... you are going to be exposed as the manipulative assh_le you are and bad things will happen to you WTF.... A question was asked? Everyone is entitled to ask a question and to give their opinion without judgement! Calling someone who simply asked a question is hardly reason to give you the right to call them a "manipulative a**h***" and then to have the nerve to project something bad on another!! Who are you?? Some kind of "VooDoo" Master!!!
Author SHortyAnGel Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 If you start using other people to play complicated games, and drag along several people and hurt all of them just to get what you want ... you are going to be exposed as the manipulative assh_le you are and bad things will happen to you I am sorry that you feel that way. Although with the current situation i am in...i do not OR WISH harm on anyone else..... i am hurt YES!.. i am confused YES!... but i have finally come to terms with the fact that life is a game... & i am basically just trying to find avenues to deal with my situation. & please do not call me a a**h***. you dont know me.... & didnt go to this forum to be called names...
movinon05 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 If you start using other people to play complicated games, and drag along several people and hurt all of them just to get what you want ... you are going to be exposed as the manipulative assh_le you are and bad things will happen to you You are not welcome if you can't be an adult and give constructive criticism or advice. And, as a result, any opinions you give will just be blasted into cyberspace! I'm sure you are very perfect yourself, aren't you?
stillhere Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Shorty, I already know this route will not help me with my MM. He's already worried about me finding someone else. Had that talk on Monday. And he's not going to leave her for me, even if he thinks i really am. One thing i know for sure that will happen, he will get pissed and quit talking to me all together, and work will be miserable. I too have thought of going about it this way, but i know it's not going to work for me.
lovernotafighter Posted June 12, 2006 Posted June 12, 2006 I confess theres a part of me that wants to play a twisted game with my MM...I went NC on him and was trying to be pleasent because he is going to be my boss,augh... but if trys to get back in my nickers the games are on..I told him how I feel and if he can't respect it,why should I give a sh*t anymore. I say do what ever you want with out the thinking he'll join you because these mm only worry about themselves.
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