dancehead Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 I've met in my time, women who only go for the wrong guys. They only want to date the ones who are dangerous, exciting, charming etc, but these are the guys who are total bastards - players if you like. This is the reason why they are so charming, because they don't really mean it and they don't really care about the girl. They just want to win the girl and get laid. And then they either cheat on them or treat them like crap or dump them. Whereas if these women meet a 100% genuine guy, they see them as too wet, weak, watery and nice, and so are not interested at all. My question is, can a woman like this ever be helped? Has she really got a problem or is it just me? Or are there some genuine guys around who can be just as desireable as the players?
Cecelius Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Well, for one thing, you indicated exactly what it is that a successful man is able to do -- make her FEEL. One generally applicable difference between men and women, in my opinion, is their greater capacity for feeling. As to whether "genuine" guys do exist who are as desirable, I think so (or at least I think I've gotten a couple of things figured out anyway). The problem that you also identify is that the other alternative is the nice, doormat, easy guy who can't put her head through the wall in bed or get the juices flowing, or capture her mind for that matter. There is a third way though. Lastly, as to whether this woman can be helped, my sense is that someone is going to jump on here and talk about girls wising up after years of dating the jerks and settling down with a nice guy. I personally have no desire to settle down for one, and I'm not sure that a woman who is at the back end of years of letting herself be used by such men is really even suitable dating material. You wouldn't respect a man whose wife owns his balls, so why would you respect a woman who dates that kind of guy? Just avoid them and look for a quality woman.
Woggle Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Drama to some women is like a drug. It gives them a temporary high but it never truly makes them happy. Sometimes these women may come around but I advise you to stop dealing with them and find a woman with no issues. I know that is easier said than done though.
Outcast Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Congratulations. You have posted the 3,445,876,553,927th post whining that 'women don't like nice guys'. Consider 1. You being jealous of them likely makes them seem like 'jerks', 'players' and 'bastards' to you 2. You may not be nearly as 'nice' as you like to think you are. I have lost count of the men who claimed to be 'nice' but weren't at all. 3. Women definitely want nice men but it's almost a given that any man who insists constantly that he's 'nice' and then blames all women for not appreciating his 'niceness' has issues. 1
Kittiecat Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Congratulations. You have posted the 3,445,876,553,927th post whining that 'women don't like nice guys'. :laugh: I do believe a majority of women would rather not be with a doormat, but sometimes our expectations are very unrealistic (damn you, Hollywood). Yeah, guys do jerky things, it comes with the territory...and I don't care how nice a guy claims to be, he always has the capacity for jerky behavior, just like every woman has the capacity to be bitchy. It's how the jerky/bitchy behaviour is dealt with that's important.
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Congratulations. You have posted the 3,445,876,553,927th post whining that 'women don't like nice guys'. Though, I'll replace the word "whining" with "wondering."
whichwayisup Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I think most women want a balanced man. Nice person, good heart, yet can be tough and assertive too. Not a pushover, or a a "yes maam" kinda guy. A man that has his own mind and stands up for what he believes in. Do a search on Nice guys and read some of the older threads about this subject.
Author dancehead Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 Oh I'm not whining about it. I was just wondering. Myself I don't claim to be one of these nice guys. I think all guys have the potential to be as bad as the guys who are openly players.
littlekitty Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I think most women want a balanced man. Nice person, good heart, yet can be tough and assertive too. Not a pushover, or a a "yes maam" kinda guy. A man that has his own mind and stands up for what he believes in. Do a search on Nice guys and read some of the older threads about this subject. I think WWIU got it spot on here. I'd add that I think younger women definately can have a tendancy to go for the bastards, they seem more exciting. As you go through relationships and life lessons you learn that that type of man isn't necessarily what you want. So yes, there is hope for many of these women to grow and change and see a nice guy for what they are. But then again, some women will always chase that type of man...! Each to their own!
Mz. Pixie Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Congratulations. You have posted the 3,445,876,553,927th post whining that 'women don't like nice guys'. Consider 1. You being jealous of them likely makes them seem like 'jerks', 'players' and 'bastards' to you 2. You may not be nearly as 'nice' as you like to think you are. I have lost count of the men who claimed to be 'nice' but weren't at all. 3. Women definitely want nice men but it's almost a given that any man who insists constantly that he's 'nice' and then blames all women for not appreciating his 'niceness' has issues. Absolutely!!!!!!
IWalkAlone Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 The notion that "girls like bad boys" and or that self-called "nice guys" are spineless wimps are oversimplifications that people get too caught up in. When you look around, there are too many excepts to these rules for them to be rules. But here's a few observations: Women like confidence, but they tend to confuse ego, arrogance, and masculine physical features for confidence. The self-described "nice guys" define "nice guy" as a guy who has trouble dating, and "jerk" as any guy who hooks up with women easily. Not all guys that women desire are jerks. BUT, if a man meets some sort of emotional need the woman has and triggers a romantic sexual response, it doesn't matter if he's a jerk or not, at least in the short term. Some perfectly good young men who happen to lack the physical and personality characteristics women perceive as masculine or "confident" get s*** on for years by women and grow cynical and angry, and then they are no longer "nice". What a shame.
alphamale Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Whereas if these women meet a 100% genuine guy, they see them as too wet, weak, watery and nice, and so are not interested at all. so....then just date the 100% genuine gal who is too weak, watery and way too nice. people have to stay in their own league when it comes to romance.
Carlthecoffeeaddict Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 women are bitches/a**h***s too......guys have no clue how to ACT around unpredictable behaviors of women. WOMEN ARE PLAYERS JUST AS WELL WOMEN CAN BE JERKS WOMEN CAN BE CRUEL WOMEN CAN HAVE NO JUSTIFICATION FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR! all of you are bashing guys.......with any explicit consideration that women too are just as bad, if not worse. Look at SEX AND THE CITY, the whole "who needs a man when you can just wham bam him and leaving him hangin" credo
Forever Searching Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 people have to stay in their own league when it comes to romance. I agree 100%
ronnieromance Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 My question is, can a woman like this ever be helped? Has she really got a problem or is it just me? Yes, it's you. You're bitter, and women don't like bitter. Meet some new sweet women and stop being so damn angry. Make a WebDate profile and interact with some people and have fun. Lighten up, man. Problem is, you're trying to make a victim out of either women, or yourself. "Oh we're at the mercy of jerks. Whoa is me!!" Get over it. Some people just don't take s*** from people. Some do. Most fall somewhere in between. -R- 1
Cecelius Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Just avoid women like that. They usually have mental problems and a rap sheet that's 20 pages long anyway
dice4 Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Yes, what your saying is true. Some woman just go for the wrong guy and you think they would learn. I think low self esteem and or sucking down a lot of depression medication is some of it. Dating the "bad boy" image is what the like because if the guy has faults they think they can fix it and then take credit for that. But we all know you can't change people and you have to like them for who they are and what they are. So if a woman goes out with a guy thats known for cheating she is just the next one in line for the same treatment.
whichwayisup Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Sometimes these women may come around but I advise you to stop dealing with them and find a woman with no issues. I know that is easier said than done though. People have issues, so that isn't going to go away. Everybody has issues and the older you get, the more you have 'em - Or have baggage of some sort. It's all about HOW you handle it. If one gets all messed up, reacts and likes high drama- Well, that is what keeps them going. And some don't, some ignore and just live life like nothing ever happened, no skin off of their nose. And then there are some who take it instride. Life is full of ups and downs, you can't sit there and NOT react to it. Well, you could, but one has to be dead I think.
j.carsey Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I've met in my time, women who only go for the wrong guys. They only want to date the ones who are dangerous, exciting, charming etc, but these are the guys who are total bastards - players if you like. Heh those men are players and they are good at what they do. And it always ends with a girl feeling bad. The thing is, as much as women claim they are emotionally superior to men they ALL start out as superficial girls who will fall for a hot guy who knows how to manipulate them for sex. I know this because virtually every girl I know, even the bookworms and doctors and PhDs, when they were young they all had flings with older attractive players who basically tricked them into bed. Or they went to bars, got drunk, and The question is how fast a woman matures. I get the sense that many of them remain emotionally immature, poor decision makers. They keep going for the same kind of guy, that makes them feel spectacular very briefly and then leaves them shattered. Again and again, they go back to what brings them pain and grief. That's not intelligence, it's stupidity. Either way these kinds of experiences (which I'm quite sure happens to the majority of women, because they do start out as suckers) sour womens' opinions of men in general. By the time they have matured, they are overly cautious and pass up many experiences to meet sincere, honest guys. That's just how it is folks
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Congratulations. You have posted the 3,445,876,553,927th post whining that 'women don't like nice guys'. Consider 1. You being jealous of them likely makes them seem like 'jerks', 'players' and 'bastards' to you 2. You may not be nearly as 'nice' as you like to think you are. I have lost count of the men who claimed to be 'nice' but weren't at all. 3. Women definitely want nice men but it's almost a given that any man who insists constantly that he's 'nice' and then blames all women for not appreciating his 'niceness' has issues. Great post!! Listen up, NICE guys: 1. Women do not like jerks. We like men who are assertive and nice to us - especially when we are alone. 2. What you see in another man's behavior is not an indication of how he acts when he is alone with her... trust me. 3. Being 'nice' is not enough. You need to be interesting, fun, and good looking, too! Also, do not discount the allure of having deep pockets and a secure job. But, if you want to simply brush it off as 'nice' versus 'jerky'... then you still have a whole lot to learn about women! 1
j.carsey Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I'll agree with that. Women definitely love confident men, they sure as hell don't want a guy who keeps whining or complaining. Confident/strong/fun is sexy. Similarly, guys are turned off by a woman who keeps whining about men or complaining about her appearance or how fat she is. It's pretty simple really, if you're meeting people always focus on the positive and never mention the negative even if it plagues your mind. If you have to, totally fake your attitude, mood, confidence. This is something I only figured out when, late-night chatting with female friends of mine and complaining about women I got this reply: you are attractive enough, but you sound desperate and for the love of god stop complaining it's very unsexy
Vertex Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I think there is an important distinction here. Just because someone is not an a**h*** does not mean they are a "nice guy." If you are faithful and not promiscuous, that doesn't mean you are nice either. A "nice guy" (or girl), in my opinion, is someone who can think about two people and not just themself. It is someone who has a genuine interest in another human being and tries to make them happy for the sake of being happy. And yet, they are still assertive and honest when it comes to boundaries and learning when to say no and take charge while avoiding unhealthy dependency. It is someone who respects him or herself and does not tolerate it when boundaries are crossed, but at the same time they are not rude or spiteful about it. They understand that people do make mistakes and can learn to forgive and forget and move on to something greater. It is one who does not think merely about ephemeral pleasures but thinks about what lies ahead in some form and makes rational accomodations if needed, doing things out of kindness and not just for show, or for hopes of some hidden reward. And as such, it is then more understandable to comprehend why nice guys feel so heartbroken when they are toyed with by a girl who doesn't know what she wants out of a relationship. It is because those guys are unable to understand why their love of true intentions went undesired -- why they were rejected despite having nothing but a loving nature. It is because they feel unappreciated and disrespected not only on a romantic level but on a basic, human level of interpersonal interaction. Anyways I hope this makes sense to people?
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