RealBroken Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Could some people please shed some light on this. My ex broke up with me. We were close and she found the break up hard. She cried etc. SMS me a every day for a week after saying she was finding it hard and missed me. She knows I really miss her and wld love her back. Anyway, a week and a half later I started to think she had made the decision for the wrong reasons because of her text messages and their content. So i asked to see her........ she said no but we'll talk on the phone. I said I wanted her back, she said no basically. Reckons she doesnt feel the same anymore. Thats ok. What I want to know is... I asked if we could stay in touch as just friends. She said no. I asked how come she has stayed in touch with her other ex of 3 years and is friends with him. (he was before me) She said, coz that was kinda different as they broke up on mutaul erms ie mutual breakup. What does it mean, I dont really understand. She broke up with him, and was over him before the breakup even happened (long distance). However, we were really close and both found what we had extra special. (unlike her last relationship) Why am i the thrown out boyfriend and he's not when i was the better guy to her. Is it because she is worried il try to convince her to get back together? Is it because she has found someone else and doesn't want me to know (she may have found someone else...suspicious of this for reasons) is it because she wants to rid all feelings for me. Or is there something I have missed that could be a possibility. Anyones input would be great. Thanks
ronnieromance Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 It's my experience that if women are bitter with you, thay won't want to be friends. Bitter can be, "I'm still in love with you you prick." or it can be "I hate you and I hope you get hit by a bus you prick." Perhaps she is bitter. What spurned said breakup? -R-
Guest Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Having just told my ex-boyfriend that I don't think we can be friends i will try to give the female (well my own) point of view. Right at this point in time I feel like we can't be friends because I need some space. I can't suddenly turn my feelings of love into ones of 'hey yeah how was work and your buddies' I can't objectively listen to him talk about 'cute girls' he's run into because a) I don't want to know, b) it hurts to hear him say that. I can't support him or advise him if I still want to be a in a relationship with him. I can't handle chatty emails and text messages and flirty ones all at the same time.... so I need a break, I need some space and I need to not speak to him for a while and get myself together. I'm friends with 1 ex-boyfriend but I think that's because he left the country and we didn't talk for a while so now when I see him there's been enough time that we can just hang out etc and actually be friends. I think each relationship is different and you can't judge your ex's actions by what they did before. Perhaps you can be friends in time and perhaps you can't. Maybe she wasn't friends with this other guy for a while after they broke up it just seems that way, maybe the end of their relationship was like a friendship anyway... who knows. Why do you want to be friends with her if you want her back anyway? And I don't think it's any of the reasons you listed, its part of the moving on and healing phase (i know mine is) not wanting to get rid of feelings because you'll always love that person and the time you shared but you can move on. Just for the record (in case you're wondering) I broke up with my BF, because he's not sure that he wants to be with me (he's been like that for 2 years) so I had to make a change somewhere. I'm not bitter but still sad. Hope this helps!
Author RealBroken Posted June 6, 2006 Author Posted June 6, 2006 Nope she's def not bitter or angry with me. She was very upset with herself and the breakup. i didnt do anything wrong. Think she was just a bit young and findin someone so early may have scared her. I'm afraid she was with her last boyfriend about 2 months before me. They were basically friends from the word go. I guess this was possible because it was a mutually agreed breakup??? She knew he wouldnt come back begging ha ha. Thats kinda what she said to me, i can be friends with him because it was a "mutual" breakup........ i think that means, i wont feel guilty when around him or uncomfortable because i know he doesnt want me back???? However, when we were together, he send her one text saying he missed her. I dunno if she responded or not. i dnt think so. Is she doing it because i maybe persuasive?? Shes afraid of changing her mind. She told me 1-2 weeks after the breakup, that she was over it all and didnt feel the same anymore. Do you think this wasnt the truth??? I do wonder because later she sent a text saying how the "goodbye my love" song by james blunt song reminded her of us. WTF!?!?!?
Diver012 Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 Embarrasement possibly, maybe she did something and cant forgive herself... maybe shes playing head games... Maybe she has no earthly idea what she wants anymore... My EX and I will never speak again... at least personally... My Choice not hers. I do not enjoy seeing or hearing from her. DO I hate her? Nope. Doesnt mean I want to hang out and be all buds either... I want to just let it all go. *Shrugs*
Guest Posted June 13, 2006 Posted June 13, 2006 Do not try to understand her cuz you won't. We men have tried for hundred of years and so far no one has the answer. You'll go crazy. Do not try to be friends or ask her to come back. As a matter of fact NC for a awhile. If the sex was good she'll definitely come back more sooner than later. Hussle a new tail, preferably a friend of hers, and she'll be crying at your door step. Sorry to say (girls) but it really works. I dont know if its cuz jealousy or cuz they cant stand seeing you happy. Thats my advise to you, "how to be a man 101" lol Good luck dude
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