long distance problem-seperating and space.

[lilmems81]

hi everyone. im new here to this forum, but i really want some advice. here is the situation. i met this girl through a cuzin of mine in Los Angeles like almost 2 1/2 years ago. she seemed like a really nice girl and it was something about her that i saw different. she was everything i wanted and all the personalities i had looked in a girl. i had thought that she lived locally but turns out she was on vacation and was from mexico. we both were really into each other and the time she was here on vacation we took advantage of getting to know each other and we had promised to keep in touch cuz we both were getting so into each other. it all happen fast and then after she left we kept talking online and over the phone. so three months past by and we had a serious talk about trying to have a long distance thing and we had both agreed that it was something that we could both do. so i had asked her to be my girl and she was really happy and excited. it was something she really wanted. so everything was going really good. i suprised her on her b-day. my friends thought i was insane cuz i took a plane from LAX to Guadalajara Mexico juss to go suprise and see her for the first time. luckily i have family there so they were understable about me stayin there. so that day came and she was really happy that i had done that. it was so planned out perfect. so we were doing that long distance for about one year and then she told me she was coming to the US to say with her brothers in Sacramento. she was really excited as so was i. cuz it was a step closer. we would take turns seeing each other. basically she was the girl that i wanted to settle down with and she expressed the same feelings for me. i really dont know but i saw something different in her. she was the one and i know it for sure. we had talked about getting married and both of us saving up money cuz the plan was for her to come and live in LA with me and to get a house together. we had totally agreed on everything. everything was going so good but just recently outta no where she told me that she was feeling this relationship " so distant " and that it was not like how it used to be. that totally shocked me. she asked me for time and space to think thru exactly wut she really wants cuz she is not 100% with the relationship ne more. i was crushed and it was like a dagger to my heart. at first i had talked to her about it and expressed how i felt and she told me how she felt but i was gonna respect her decision. its been a week now since we have not talked cuz we would talk everyday on the phone and it sucks now cuz i want to call her.i have been hardly eating and sleeping and feel so depressed but thanks to my bro he is helping me. i think about her so so much and miss her so bad. i been thinkin lately and i was thinkin about givin her like a month so she can hopefully try to clear up wut she was thinkin. im plannin to drive up there but without her knowning. i juss feel that its not the same to express those feelings over the phone than it is in person. in this month im gonna try to get my strength both physically and mentally for when i go see her. i have to prepare myself for wutever comes ahead i guess. im sorrie if this is really long but i appreciate it for the advice. thank u

[Guest]

Well, I just had a post about this called 'ugh awful'. I know exactly how you feel, and I am going through the exact same thing. My suggestion and what I am going to try to do is not talk to her or see her. You can't be with someone and know what its like to be without them (that is the point of view I have decided to take). Just give her time and if she calls thats fine but DO NOT call her or even tell her how you feel, she knows and that is not what she wants to hear. I know its awful but this will be best in the long run. Also, I got advice from a lot of people and they all said that you should not put a time limit on it. Let her do her thing and figure her life out for however long she needs. Everything will work out for the best just keep that in mind. The main thing: You do not want to be with someone who does not want to be with you! Good luck and I feel your pain but it will be alright. I am sure everything will work out for the best!