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Posted

Hi,

 

It's kind of a weird problem, and i can't seem to be able to get over it.

 

I was with this wonderfull girl for 2 years. We traveled a lot together, never fought (well, never really seriously). She was my best friend, my girlfriend, my workmate, and everything i ever wanted.

 

But you know how life is hu? My job started to suck real bad, and since she was at the office as well, she was seeing it entirely. Everyday was more painfull, and i kept this situation for an entire year. I became grumpy, bad tempered, and addicted to pot because i needed something to relax. I was smoking when she was asleep, so she never noticed it, altho she got used of sleeping alone.

 

So, in a way, because of that i forgot how much i loved her, all that she ment to me, and how bad my life would be if she would ever go away. She was the essence of my life; i was able to endure my s***ty job because she was there, and, even if it wasn't easy cuz i wasn't myself, i always tried to make her as happy as possible.

 

I must admit that we started to be a little more distant, and we were often working on different shifts. I wasn't even taking time to go see her at the job, cuz i hated the office soooo much. So, we where more distant.

 

One day, las August, she came back from work and told me she wanted to be alone for a while. I listened, talked with her, tried to convince her that everything could change (could it?!) but she didn't wanted to hear nothing, so i left, doing a weelee with my motorbyke, almost crashing, crying out loud when driving like a maniak.

 

I hacked in her email the next morning, from my parent's house. I found out she was in love with somebody from a different departement since a month, and that she was actually getting up at night to send emails to him. It crushed me, completely. I can't find the right words to express it, but i sinked, low, really really low.

 

I stayed in my parents basements for 2 months, crushing myself, destroying my life, quitting my job, annoying her and my friends, riding my bike like a maniac (i didn't admit it, but i was trying to kill myself in a "natural" way).

Well, obviously, i didn't succeed.

 

So i carried on destroying everything i believe in, cuz seems that life wanted it this way, and a drunk driver crashed into my bike, so even my suicidal device was crushed.

 

I send a tremendous amount of email to my ex (yea, feel funny, i still love her as much as in the first day) and now i'm sure she hates me. I made a webpage explaining what appened, why i left, and even with part of email she sent to this guy. I was out of my mind, going crasy.

 

So i left from the East coast to the West, not knowing where to go and knowing that i destroyed everything i had back East, so without possibility to turn back.

 

Now, it's been 8 months or so, i had somebody else, somebody who basically "doesn't count" because we didn't had any kind of solid relation, and i still miss my ex. My life just don't make any sense, and worst now, i KNOW she hates me....

 

I hope she's happy now, in a way, but i another, i'm still waiting for her to come and knock on my door, every day. And she won't.....

Posted

Man that sucks, I really feel for you dude.

 

You're probably going over the relationship in your mind, wondering what you could have done differently. Sadly, this will not help you.

 

The chances of your ex coming back seem very slim, and the fact you have admitted that is a good sign.

 

I know its hard, but you need to get into a frame of my mind where you can start to get over her. Once you start thinking to yourself "I CAN/WILL get over this", you've taken the first step.

 

And remember, the only way is up from here!

Posted

Well, first things first. STAY OFF THE HORSE. The last thing you want to do is ride while you're angry. Trust me, I rode my bike as hard as I could (I do actually race motorcycles) and had a hell of a headshake which could've turned into a nasty tankslapper. My foot slipped off the peg, hit the ground and caught my calf on the brake lever and left a hell of a mark that's still there today.

 

Onto other things. Why destroy your life? Why ruin your life and the lives of the people around you? It makes no sense. When my girlfriend announced to me yesterday that she wanted to break up, the first thing I did was take a shower, clean my room, go over my finances and started planning for the week. Doing things like this keeps your mind focused on the good things in life. As a good friend of mine says, "Busy hands are happy hands."

 

Don't worry about finding someone because there's plenty of time for that. However, if you ruin your life now then that time may never come. Imagine the worst. 7 months ago a lady plowed into me at an intersection while I was riding my motorcycle. I broke two cervical vertebrae, had a massive chip fracture in my foot (that still hasn't completely healed), was knocked unconscious, and had major contusions to my shoulders, chest, and back. I didn't start walking again until last month. Imagine yourself riding recklessly and permanently becoming paralyzed or disabled. Is that what you really want? Do us all a favor and stay off the bike.

 

Your ex sunk to a new low when she was communicating with someone else behind your back. It's true that some women are monkeys, like they say, not letting go of one branch until they get a hold of the next. She set herself up for a rebound to make leaving you much easier. In my opinion, none of this is your fault. Sure things were growing colder and more distant, but that was the perfect excuse for any couple to do something together to rekindle the fire. Unfortunately, she needed to do something despicable.

 

Forget about her and focus on yourself. Rebuild your life, get back into shape, do a couple of track days if that's your thing, and look forward to and plan for the future.

 

Good luck.

Posted

Cheers people,

 

I'm now in the west, have a new job, some kind of new life away from everything i knew and everything i trashed...

 

I've been into about 6 hard months of boozing, partying, drugs, acting like an idiot, nothing like what i was before,and i know everybody that ever knew me wouldn't belive what i became. I was hard out into Heavy Metal and now i'm into Bob Marley and Reggae, letting my hairs grow to have dreads.

 

Damn, i was a heavy metal carrierist in a big company when i trashed it...

 

It's different, but i'm alive. I must admit that i still miss her tho, despite my "efforts", and i miss my bike as well :) Riding recklessly with an IPOD on is such a good feeling, even if really, really dangerous.

 

I still miss her tho, as if she were a part of me, the rationnal part that i gave up, this part that i could never explain but that was making me so happy, deep down inside. I still feel i'm half the man i used to be.

 

doublem316 : Yea man, i know exactly what i should have done differently, but you're right, it doesn't help.

 

blue636 : I had a crash a few years ago, nothing too serious tho, just broke a few ribs and completly wrecked my former bike. Man, i admit it suck, and i'm glad to hear that you don't have permanent damages (well, you seems that you'll be able to function anyway). Cars drivers suck. Something like 80% of motorcycle accidents are caused by idiotic car drivers....i came close a few times this summer, but i can garantee you that at 220, i wouldn't be here to talk about it.

 

Hope you do well bro.

 

St Thomas

Posted
Hi,

 

It's kind of a weird problem, and i can't seem to be able to get over it.

 

I was with this wonderfull girl for 2 years. We traveled a lot together, never fought (well, never really seriously). She was my best friend, my girlfriend, my workmate, and everything i ever wanted.

 

But you know how life is hu? My job started to suck real bad, and since she was at the office as well, she was seeing it entirely. Everyday was more painfull, and i kept this situation for an entire year. I became grumpy, bad tempered, and addicted to pot because i needed something to relax. I was smoking when she was asleep, so she never noticed it, altho she got used of sleeping alone.

 

So, in a way, because of that i forgot how much i loved her, all that she ment to me, and how bad my life would be if she would ever go away. She was the essence of my life; i was able to endure my s***ty job because she was there, and, even if it wasn't easy cuz i wasn't myself, i always tried to make her as happy as possible.

 

I must admit that we started to be a little more distant, and we were often working on different shifts. I wasn't even taking time to go see her at the job, cuz i hated the office soooo much. So, we where more distant.

 

One day, las August, she came back from work and told me she wanted to be alone for a while. I listened, talked with her, tried to convince her that everything could change (could it?!) but she didn't wanted to hear nothing, so i left, doing a weelee with my motorbyke, almost crashing, crying out loud when driving like a maniak.

 

I hacked in her email the next morning, from my parent's house. I found out she was in love with somebody from a different departement since a month, and that she was actually getting up at night to send emails to him. It crushed me, completely. I can't find the right words to express it, but i sinked, low, really really low.

 

I stayed in my parents basements for 2 months, crushing myself, destroying my life, quitting my job, annoying her and my friends, riding my bike like a maniac (i didn't admit it, but i was trying to kill myself in a "natural" way).

Well, obviously, i didn't succeed.

 

So i carried on destroying everything i believe in, cuz seems that life wanted it this way, and a drunk driver crashed into my bike, so even my suicidal device was crushed.

 

I send a tremendous amount of email to my ex (yea, feel funny, i still love her as much as in the first day) and now i'm sure she hates me. I made a webpage explaining what appened, why i left, and even with part of email she sent to this guy. I was out of my mind, going crasy.

 

So i left from the East coast to the West, not knowing where to go and knowing that i destroyed everything i had back East, so without possibility to turn back.

 

Now, it's been 8 months or so, i had somebody else, somebody who basically "doesn't count" because we didn't had any kind of solid relation, and i still miss my ex. My life just don't make any sense, and worst now, i KNOW she hates me....

 

I hope she's happy now, in a way, but i another, i'm still waiting for her to come and knock on my door, every day. And she won't.....

 

 

I say be a pragmatist. Be happy about the time you spent together, the love you shared etc., and learn from any mistakes made.

 

But don't dwell. Get back into the dating swing of things. Get on an internest site like WebDate and meet some new women. Foster some new connections. Either way, wheter you move on or want to try to work things out with her, it won't happen if you stagnate.

 

 

-R-

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