Tim'sAngel Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 I have just officially moved in w/my SO. I have a beautiful 16 mo old son (the lil handsome man in my avie ) I consider myself to be the best mother to my ability, although I am in no way perfect!! My SO is very good w/my son. Obviously the maternal bond isn't there between them since he is not his real son, but he is a good disciplinary figure and gives him lots of positive attention. Our new family is working well together. Since I have just moved to a new place (not really new, I grew up here but havn't lived here for about 10 yrs now) I dont have many friends, and I dont know anyone who could babysit my son. I am somewhat overprotective when it comes to him in some ways. I refuse to just let anyone watch him, especially people i don't even know!! It is beginging to affect me in a negitive way since I have no time to myself. My son is with me 24/7. My mother got married over the weekend and is now living in KY w/her new hubby. She was the only person I fully trusted w/my son. Now I feel trapped, I love my son to peices but being a single mother, I get no time for anything I like. I am still young, only 22 and I still would like to go out occasionally w/my SO and have a good time, maybe meet some new people. My SO sees how this is affecting me and keeps harping on me to find a babysitter. I just can't bring myself to letting him stay w/a stanger. You hear of all kinds of horrible stories of children being neglected or molested by sitters. Yet, how am I going to find anyone I trust if I am not going out to meet people?? I did wonder if there was a website with people in your area sharing names of good sitters or daycares or maybe even get-togethers for children and their parents. My son also needs to be around children his age its just daycares are germ infested and my mother has worked at one and told me some horrible things about them (the diapers go w/out being changed, they don't refridgerate opened juice, they all use the same spoons and bowels, no hot water...) I am stuck. Either way whether I just stay at home and never go out or leave him w/a sitter I am stuck. I'm also worried it will start to have a negitive affect on my relationship. Has anyone else had this problem? I would love for anyone to share their advice or situation. I am losing my mind!!
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 I have just officially moved in w/my SO. I have a beautiful 16 mo old son (the lil handsome man in my avie ) I consider myself to be the best mother to my ability, although I am in no way perfect!! My SO is very good w/my son. Obviously the maternal bond isn't there between them since he is not his real son, but he is a good disciplinary figure and gives him lots of positive attention. Our new family is working well together. Since I have just moved to a new place (not really new, I grew up here but havn't lived here for about 10 yrs now) I dont have many friends, and I dont know anyone who could babysit my son. I am somewhat overprotective when it comes to him in some ways. I refuse to just let anyone watch him, especially people i don't even know!! It is beginging to affect me in a negitive way since I have no time to myself. My son is with me 24/7. My mother got married over the weekend and is now living in KY w/her new hubby. She was the only person I fully trusted w/my son. Now I feel trapped, I love my son to peices but being a single mother, I get no time for anything I like. I am still young, only 22 and I still would like to go out occasionally w/my SO and have a good time, maybe meet some new people. My SO sees how this is affecting me and keeps harping on me to find a babysitter. I just can't bring myself to letting him stay w/a stanger. You hear of all kinds of horrible stories of children being neglected or molested by sitters. Yet, how am I going to find anyone I trust if I am not going out to meet people?? I did wonder if there was a website with people in your area sharing names of good sitters or daycares or maybe even get-togethers for children and their parents. My son also needs to be around children his age its just daycares are germ infested and my mother has worked at one and told me some horrible things about them (the diapers go w/out being changed, they don't refridgerate opened juice, they all use the same spoons and bowels, no hot water...) I am stuck. Either way whether I just stay at home and never go out or leave him w/a sitter I am stuck. I'm also worried it will start to have a negitive affect on my relationship. Has anyone else had this problem? I would love for anyone to share their advice or situation. I am losing my mind!! First off, congrats on the new home. For starters, I would go and meet the neighbors. Get to know them and you might have a potential friendship with them. You definitely don't your whole life consumed up with being with your son. Do some research on the local day care centers. They can't all be as bad as you have heard.
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 8, 2006 Posted June 8, 2006 I dont have many friends' date=' and I dont know anyone who could babysit my son. I am somewhat overprotective when it comes to him in some ways. I refuse to just let anyone watch him, especially people i don't even know!! It is beginging to affect me in a negitive way since I have no time to myself. My son is with me 24/7. [/quote'] TA, I have 3 kids, the youngest is 2.5 years old. I am by no way a 'perfect' mom - if there's such a thing. But I do have some experience with little kids. First, realize that you are in a new place. So naturally, you won't get intimate friends right away. If you work, ask around. If you don't get any leads there, find out from your local community center (this was the best method for us.) Place ads in your neighborhood, school, or even public daycare centers. Highschool girls are great babysitters. I have one who is 18 years old. Second, you need to let go of some things, such as your worries and fears regarding your baby. There are things in life that you can't control however smart you are. (Well, I have trouble believing that myself! ) It was very hard for me to trust someone completely with my kids too. Heck, this maternal instict is encoded in our genes! But don't let the fears control you. When you've found that really sweet babysitter, hopefully, you'll be able to relax and leave him to her. Not easy, but it does get easier. My son also needs to be around children his age its just daycares are germ infested and my mother has worked at one and told me some horrible things about them (the diapers go w/out being changed, they don't refridgerate opened juice, they all use the same spoons and bowels, no hot water...) I am stuck. Either way whether I just stay at home and never go out or leave him w/a sitter I am stuck. I'm also worried it will start to have a negitive affect on my relationship. Has anyone else had this problem? I would love for anyone to share their advice or situation. I am losing my mind!! Yes, you son needs to be around people his age! He will learn to talk faster and be a happier person overall. And yes, most daycare centers are laiden with germs and filth... That's the sad nature of daycare centers in the US! (Just a side note, I have family and friends in Europe, and daycares over there are way better than ours! Talk about the most progressive country, right?) Also remember that no place will be as good as home, and no other care will be as good as yours. That said, unless you open your own daycare (and I know many who do in their own home), you have to expect less. Personally, I prefer large daycare centers like TutorTime and KinderCare over the smaller private places that are located in the owner's home. JMO. Good luck!
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