Guest Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Hi everyone, I was with someone for two years and we were really really close. Everything was good for the first year, but then she dropped a bombshell: she could'nt have sex anymore. She was very upfront about it and i gave her the chance to leave if she wanted to, but she said she loved me and wanted to work through it. I thought i could handle it, but it was'nt that easy. I started drinking alot and constantly trying to break up with her. This happened countless times over the next year, and each time she forgave me and we carried on. She even said i could sleep with other people if i wanted to, as long as she did'nt hear the details because she wanted me to happy. Eventually, as you can imagine, she had had enough and said she needed to call it off because she could'nt cope with it anymore. I did'nt take the breakup well and started drinking more and more, constantly ringing her and tearing into her. Through all this she remained my closest friend and forgave me time and time again. Numerous times I tried to break off all contact to try and get over her, but we always ended up talking again. Anyway, last week she said she was going on a date with somebody - she was very upfront and said she wanted me to know. It hit me very hard as i think i had convinced myself we would get back together someday. I said i needed some time alone, she said fine. Now, i dont want to get back with her because i know we are wrong for each other but i just can't seem to get her out of my head! Anybody got any tips or been through a similair situation?
GB111 Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Sounds like you're doing the right thing. Maybe you can be friends in time, but you really need to get over her. Not to give you false hope, but perhaps she'll find out the grass isn't always greener... Best, GB
murtucky Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 you must realize... she will not have sex because it is a form of providing and influence. she is now taking the reigns...and you are in for a big headache if you continue. i just went through this...and no matter what you do, she will have a wall between you two that you might not see. DO NOT CONTACT HER. ESSENTIALLY, SHE IS DOING THE SAME. she is no longer speaking or listening to your heart. she is speaking to your head and listening to her own heart. start healing, and stop talking to her. period. good luck!
destination_unknown Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 I dont get why she suddenly couldnt have sex with you anymore. Medical reasons? Spiritual / Emotional? So did you have sex with other people? I'm condused, sorry!
doublem316 Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 she was abused as a child and something just clicked after a while. The mind is a funny thing; she said it was like a switch had gone off and she could'nt turn it back no matter how hard she tried. No, i never slept with anybody else. If i had looked after her more instead of thinking about myself we probably would have been fine, but you cant turn the clock back!
Guest Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 she is no longer speaking or listening to your heart. she is speaking to your head and listening to her own heart. it doesn't matter why... forgive and forget. there are billions of other girls who love sex and have no issues about it. this is something SHE is going through, not you... if you don't believe me, here's an example. do you know everything about her period??? do you buy the products, the motrin, know all her emotions, and hurt as well? NO! this is something she is going through, not you... you just get to reap the benefits of it!
daphne Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Guest, I may be alone in thinking you've dodged a bullet. If there is no sex, I may as well be single and have the person as a friend. I understand that she has problems. It just doesn't sound like she's working on them like she should. I'd be curious to see if the new guy would be as understanding. Or if she's going to have to bait him with sex for a while until she tells him that she doesn't want to continue.
ddnnee Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 why are guys so attachy? ever notice that girls can EASILY just jump one guy to the next even when their relationship with the guy is over years long? It's like "oh guess what, i'm dating someone else... so ok bye!" and its over like that. girls are evil.
doublem316 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 I dont think you can pigeon-hole all off the female population like that; the girl im talking about was single for a year before starting up another relationship. I've been with quite a few girls who have hopped straight into another relationship though; but that was easier to get through because i could hate them a hell of alot easier!
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