Guest Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Alright, so I was at a graduation party last night at my cousins house. The party was for my cousin and myself. It was an average graduation party, but I should let it be noted that I am extremely shy, and have strong morals. I have never smoked or taken 1 sip of alcohol in my life, nor have I ever had a date or even talked to a girl about anything outside of school through 4 years of high school. So I'm sitting on a bench with another one of my cousins watching the rest of the drunk high school juniors and seniors dance, and my cousin that the partys for sees me and whispers to her (attractive) friends. The next thing I know 3 girls my age are walking towards me and all of a sudden are asking me personal questions and ripping me out of my seat to dance with them. One of the girls continued to flirt with me throughout the rest of the party, and now I can't get her out of my mind. Bear in mind, I'm not stupid and I know every girl that talked to me last night had no interest in me and only went through with it because they were drunk and were told to do so. I think I'm in love with the girl, but maybe it's because she's really the first person to ever talk to me and dance with me like that? All I know is I can't stop thinking about her now and I probably won't see her at another party for 6 months. Anyone care to share any stories of the same manner, and am I correct in thinking it was rude of my cousin to force these girls who have no interest in me to come over and talk to me? I'm not one to be jealous(if you've gone through 4 years of high school and watching people make out in the hallways, you know what I'm talking about)... but I can't stand to think the girl who flirted with me would be so low and have such flimsy morals as to 'prostitute' herself like this to guys like me at every party. I need some comfort :'(
vampress1 Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 but I can't stand to think the girl who flirted with me would be so low and have such flimsy morals as to 'prostitute' herself like this to guys like me at every party. I need some comfort :'( Dude... are you serious? Your cousin felt sorry for you because you are, well... let's face it, kind of a social idiot (i'm real sorry to be blunt, but you're at a party and your sitting on a bench with your cousin WATCHING the fun?... plus you've never spoken to a girl outside of school?). She sent some friends your way in hopes of loosening you up, to try to get you involved in the party that is in honor of you both. She didn't send her friends over to make a fool of you or to hook up. So, is it rude? Heck NO!! It's extremely kind. You're in love? Come on... If you think you LIKE this girl, then ask your cuz if she thinks it's a possiblity. She'll be straight with you... if she's out of your league, your cousin will tell you (afterall, you're blood... she doesn't want to see you make a fool of yourself). If it's a possibilty, she'll likely make the first move for you. Win, win situation as far as I see it. Good luck!
tanbark813 Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Ditto what vampress said. The girls weren't being rude, they were trying to include you in the fun. Loosen up, man. Don't take life so seriously, you'll never get out alive.
TUDOR Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 My advise, when opportunity like that knocks again.....jump on and ride her till she bucks!
Guest Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Dude... are you serious? Your cousin felt sorry for you because you are, well... let's face it, kind of a social idiot (i'm real sorry to be blunt, but you're at a party and your sitting on a bench with your cousin WATCHING the fun?... plus you've never spoken to a girl outside of school?). She sent some friends your way in hopes of loosening you up, to try to get you involved in the party that is in honor of you both. She didn't send her friends over to make a fool of you or to hook up. So, is it rude? Heck NO!! It's extremely kind. You're in love? Come on... If you think you LIKE this girl, then ask your cuz if she thinks it's a possiblity. She'll be straight with you... if she's out of your league, your cousin will tell you (afterall, you're blood... she doesn't want to see you make a fool of yourself). If it's a possibilty, she'll likely make the first move for you. Win, win situation as far as I see it. Good luck! Hmmm... guess I know where I stand now. I'm definitely way too shy to initiate anything like that, especially asking my cousin if it's possible to date one of her best friends. Probably a self-confidence problem... something I've had forever and can't seem to shake. I have no problem making male friends, but I just don't want to be shot down by a girl and shatter the little confidence I do have. Thanks for the response, much appreciated.
vampress1 Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Okay... so you're shy. Your cousin has probably figured that out by now... What have you got to loose? Are you afraid your cousin will bust on you or tell her friend in a "your never going to believe who was asking about you" kind of way? I can definitely see how that might be difficult, but you've gotta take that leap sometime. Why not now, while you have your age and immaturity to save you!?!? If it doesn't go your way, you can always chalk it up to your first experience asking a girl out. Do it or you are destined to be alone forever! (I'm kidding... kind of!)
Guest Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Okay... so you're shy. Your cousin has probably figured that out by now... What have you got to loose? Are you afraid your cousin will bust on you or tell her friend in a "your never going to believe who was asking about you" kind of way? I can definitely see how that might be difficult, but you've gotta take that leap sometime. Why not now, while you have your age and immaturity to save you!?!? If it doesn't go your way, you can always chalk it up to your first experience asking a girl out. Do it or you are destined to be alone forever! (I'm kidding... kind of!) Thanks vampress, your responses are helping very much so. I don't think I can use the immaturity scapegoat anymore, as I'm entering a nice college to go in the medical field, but I get your drift. I may have to rally my confidence, but I might take the leap soon. Thanks very much.
Outcast Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 but I can't stand to think the girl who flirted with me would be so low and have such flimsy morals as to 'prostitute' herself like this to guys like me at every party. Please tell me you didn't actually write that! There's morals and then there's being ridiculously uptight and that statement definitely falls into the latter category. If you are going into medical school, you will meet (and treat) all sorts of humans from all walks of life with all kinds of personalities so you are going to have to hang up your excessively judgemental attitude post haste. In fact, I believe that med school candidates get psych screening and I promise you that sort of attitude won't get you in. All they did was talk to you and dance with you!!!!!
Guest Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Please tell me you didn't actually write that! There's morals and then there's being ridiculously uptight and that statement definitely falls into the latter category. If you are going into medical school, you will meet (and treat) all sorts of humans from all walks of life with all kinds of personalities so you are going to have to hang up your excessively judgemental attitude post haste. In fact, I believe that med school candidates get psych screening and I promise you that sort of attitude won't get you in. All they did was talk to you and dance with you!!!!! By no means would I let it get in the way of my future profession. If you got the impression that I would treat people differently or show hate towards one or favoritism towards another with my job, then you got it dead wrong. I am smart enough not to let superficialities or anything like that get in my way. Looking back on that now after having some conversations with close friends and relatives, I'm not sure why I even wrote that particular statement. I was aiming towards getting a different point across. I'm definitely not as uptight as this thread has portrayed me to be. Sorry, for the confusion, lol. BTW, for a twist of irony... I am hoping to be a Pharmacist(so it's not exactly med school), while the cousin that sent the girls over for is going to be a Nurse. Guess I will be filling her prescriptions...
ronnieromance Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Why don't you use a dating site so you learn the rythm of witty banter? That way, you'll be distanced, but still in control of your actions and words. Get on something like webdate. They have chatrooms that feature groups of people rather than 1 on 1 conversation...SO there is no awkward silence stuff. It's a good way to practice how to talk to women and build some confidence. And lets face it, that's the bottom line in talking to women. Confidence. And it sounds like you just haven't found yours yet. -R-
vampress1 Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 Why don't you use a dating site so you learn the rythm of witty banter? That way, you'll be distanced, but still in control of your actions and words. Get on something like webdate. They have chatrooms that feature groups of people rather than 1 on 1 conversation...SO there is no awkward silence stuff. It's a good way to practice how to talk to women and build some confidence. And lets face it, that's the bottom line in talking to women. Confidence. And it sounds like you just haven't found yours yet. Excellent idea!! This could definitely help you!
Guest Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 If you think you LIKE this girl, then ask your cuz if she thinks it's a possiblity. She'll be straight with you... if she's out of your league, your cousin will tell you (afterall, you're blood... she doesn't want to see you make a fool of yourself). If it's a possibilty, she'll likely make the first move for you. Well it seems as if there's a bit of an unexpected problem with this method. I've called my cousin multiple times with no answer, and she is never online either. I should also mention the girl I like will still be in high school next year, and I'm moving to college(a good 45 miles away). Is there any way around either part of my problem, or am I just out of luck?
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