rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 I met an awesome guy at a nightclub on Friday night. We had great conversation and had an awesome time dancing together. I fought off many other men that night, but there was something really hot about this guy and I actually wanted to dance with him. We ended up making out at the end of the night... out of character for me, but I was so attracted to him. When we finished kissing I pulled my phone out to get his number (I now wish I wasn't so overeager but I had too much to drink), he said "no, I'll take yours." He hasn't called. It's the third day. What are the rules here? Should I assume he wasn't very ineterested because he didn't want to give me his number or should I assume he's married or should I assume he'll call sometime within a week or so?
NTB Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 some people say its 3 days or a week i don't really know but why put all your eggs in one basket you saw this guy once. if he calls you great and if he doesn't then who cares, keep on searching just don't put to much importance on this one guy
Art_Critic Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 If a guy refuses a number after it is offered then he is either involved with someone and he was blowing you off nicely or he isn't interested..
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 I met an awesome guy at a nightclub on Friday night. We had great conversation and had an awesome time dancing together. I fought off many other men that night, but there was something really hot about this guy and I actually wanted to dance with him. We ended up making out at the end of the night... out of character for me, but I was so attracted to him. When we finished kissing I pulled my phone out to get his number (I now wish I wasn't so overeager but I had too much to drink), he said "no, I'll take yours." He hasn't called. It's the third day. What are the rules here? Should I assume he wasn't very ineterested because he didn't want to give me his number or should I assume he's married or should I assume he'll call sometime within a week or so? There are no rules. People call at different times. I would hope that he is not married or in a relationship. Its the third day now? I would wait until tomorrow night and if he still has not called, then he is probably not interested. Don't feel bad. We have all been stood up.
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 If he doesn't call you by this weekend, he isn't going to call. He took your phone number not to hurt your feelings. I mean, if the guy said to you point blank, "Actually, I have no intention of calling you, but hey! Thanks for the dancing and the kissing" how would you have felt? He's done the typical number thing to be polite. Plus, him not giving you HIS number is a redflag. If two people meet and like eachother, chances are both numbers will be exchanged.
NTB Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Plus, him not giving you HIS number is a redflag. If two people meet and like eachother, chances are both numbers will be exchanged. not necessarily, i've had my bad experiences with this whole "phone rule" thing. i exchanged #'s once with a girl i met at a club and i lost her # by mistake, a couple of days later i get the call from hell so since then on first sight i don't give out #'s, on the first real date where i can see she isn't crazy i'll give her my digits.
mikethmn Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 You may not be as hot as you think you are "fighting off other men." This is a classic - I'll take you're number because I don't want my girlfriend to answer your call.... situation. Either that or you were only a one night interest. Either way, if a guy truly likes you, he would have called by now, let alone givin you his number too.
Author rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 I wasn't saying I was hot, he was I was hot. And, I understand that you don't have to be good looking, be in good shape, be healthy, and have something going for yourself to be picked up on at a nightclub...you just have to be easy. I'm not interested in just anyone is what I was getting at. We had a lot of chemistry.
Author rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 I wasn't saying I was hot, those were his words. And, I understand that you don't have to be good looking, be in good shape, be healthy, and have something going for yourself to be picked up on at a nightclub...you just have to be easy. I'm not interested in just anyone is what I was getting at. We had a lot of chemistry. It's not a big deal if he doesn't call. I was just looking for other opinions about the phone number thing. I haven't been out on the dating scene in a long time b/c I just got out of a 10 year relationship.
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 We had a lot of chemistry. Chemistry is one thing, but have feelings are another. Remember too, men can easily separate the feelings of love and sex. I wasn't saying I was hot, he was I was hot. I read this line like 10 times and it still baffles me! LOL! I know what you're saying, it's just worded weird.
Author rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 I've heard this a lot from my guy friends too...some men are even more apprehensive about giving out their numbers b/c they're afraid of a psycho stalking them.
Author rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 If a guy refuses a number after it is offered then he is either involved with someone and he was blowing you off nicely or he isn't interested.. That's what I'm thinking too. LOL! I felt like a retard after giving him my number. I was kind of in shock. After he said he wanted mine instead giving his my immediate thought was he must be married or in another relationship. I wish I would've told him nevermind when he asked for mine. Next time.
Author rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 There are no rules. People call at different times. I would hope that he is not married or in a relationship. Its the third day now? I would wait until tomorrow night and if he still has not called, then he is probably not interested. Don't feel bad. We have all been stood up. Yea, I don't think there should be rules either. I've heard guys say they don't like to call right away so they don't come off as desperate. That seems like too much of a game though. I think if a guy is genuinely interested he will probably call the next day. Thanks for the encouragement.
Author rb12 Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 some people say its 3 days or a week i don't really know but why put all your eggs in one basket you saw this guy once. if he calls you great and if he doesn't then who cares, keep on searching just don't put to much importance on this one guy I know...I was just curious how it works
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Yea, I don't think there should be rules either. I've heard guys say they don't like to call right away so they don't come off as desperate. That seems like too much of a game though. I think if a guy is genuinely interested he will probably call the next day. Thanks for the encouragement. Your welcome. I do call her the next day if I am interested. Calling someone the next day does not define what desperate is.
alphamale Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 I do call her the next day if I am interested. I used to do that when I was young also...
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 I used to do that when I was young also... What doesn't work for you could works for others. I did that and I still have a fantastic relationship, so what do you have to say to that Mr. Bitter toward all woman?
Cecelius Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 If he has any rules about this, then (1) a man will seek the girl's number rather than just give his out because he is conditioned to believe that if she only takes his number, it is as good as "don't call us, we'll call you" and (2) 3 days is not that long. He may like you SOO much that his is somewhere on this forum getting advice on how not to screw it up by calling too early... Or he may never call. Either way, 3 days doesn't tell you what he is thinking.
mikethmn Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 He may like you SOO much that his is somewhere on this forum getting advice on how not to screw it up by calling too early... Yeah that's exactly what he's doing! Ha Ha HA:laugh: Now go take a shower and wash off that newborn smell.
timidity99 Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 Actually the rule is that once a guy gets a girl's number he's supposed to wait 3 days (precisely 72-80 hours) to call so he doesn't come across as deseparate. I wait 3 days to call when I get a new girl's number. I believe you develop a little mystery about yourself during those days that you wait.
basscatcher Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 so what is a woman suppose to do when a man wants to give you his number? I have this happen to me quite often. I have taken several numbers and only called back one --who never called me back after I left him a message telling him "Hi****, This is padameckla, thank you for being a gentleman and for the great time. I really enjoyed meeting you. You have my number on your caller Id now so you can call me back if you like. Thanks again for the great evening. " AND-- he never called back. He is the one who offered me his number; i didn't ask for it. I called like I said I would. He never called back. He was a complete gentleman and never asked to go home with me or me go home with him. so whats the rules on a man giving a woman his number when she didn't ask for it. If she takes it should she call him? If so when? I have met some of these guys and I find them attractive but i hadn't been ready to date anyone and I made that clear to them. They still insisted on giving me their numbers. I don't know if I want to call any of them. If I see them again I will talk to them. I will tell the truth.
cuddlycuddlebum Posted June 6, 2006 Posted June 6, 2006 "Hi****, This is padameckla, thank you for being a gentleman and for the great time. I really enjoyed meeting you. You have my number on your caller Id now so you can call me back if you like. Thanks again for the great evening. " How do you know he had caller id? A lot of people still do not have it.
basscatcher Posted June 7, 2006 Posted June 7, 2006 How do you know he had caller id? A lot of people still do not have it. Cell phone!! I don't know a cell phone that doesn't! He had voicemail and I also left my number in case.
Author rb12 Posted June 7, 2006 Author Posted June 7, 2006 Actually the rule is that once a guy gets a girl's number he's supposed to wait 3 days (precisely 72-80 hours) to call so he doesn't come across as deseparate. I wait 3 days to call when I get a new girl's number. I believe you develop a little mystery about yourself during those days that you wait. Do you ever wait longer? It's now Wednesday...I'll assume if I don't hear from him by this weekend that he's not going to call. You're right there is a huge amount of mystery now. I know he's a teacher but I don't know what kind or where...I'm dying to know. He might be extremely busy this week with the wrap up of the school year. But, if he's a college teacher then he's into to spring/summer schedule and shouldn't be too busy to call. Who knows. Doesn't really matter, but you're right, there's a lot of mystery. If he doesn't call it's no big deal. It was a fun night and that's all that matters. I really want to know where he teaches though. He made a guess about what University I go to and was right. It's a private college so it was weird that he guessed it. It made me wonder the next day if he teaches at my University. I wish I would've asked him that night! I wasn't thinking. Ahhh! How can you tell if a man is in a relationship when he tells you he isn't? Somebody told me to try and gently run my hand along the inside of his left hand to feel for rough skin where a ring will normally rub. That seems really bold. I guess you have to just take your chances. If he says he's not, you have to give him the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise?
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