Vertex Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 People can cheat, lie, steal, drink to death, debase, act selfishly, ignore, or even maim their partners. But then those abused people stay in the relationship. But god forbid, other times people leave relationships for the smallest, silliest reasons ever. I guess you could say I am still bitter over my own breakup. My girlfriend broke up with me over virtually nonexistent issues, that, when fought over at length, lead to high stressors that result in a lack of willingness to make things work. It seems like if you are good to someone they will still dump you for the most idiotic, selfish things ever. After the breakup she fled right back to another ex and hooked up before leaving to a summer program -- an ex who was nothing but s*** to her in the past relationship. She'd always give him all the attention in the world, all the sex in the world, with nothing in return. But because he's an a**h***, he apparently gets his way yet again. He gets the juice without the squeeze. I spoke with a friend the other day who was having bad luck with her boyfriend, but it was because he was an immature individual. Her claims of "I just want a nice guy!" fell on deaf ears. People say this crap and still give themselves up to people who are simply using them. Why does it seem like the brainless, selfish, undeserving jerks get the upper hand in almost every situation? I (and many others) considered myself to be a really good boyfriend and friend to my ex... and yet I got treated like s***. She gave attention and affection to everyone but me. I'm so sick of seeing jerks win out again, and again, and again. I'm tempted to just say "f*** it!" and treat people like s*** from now on, because apparently women love it and appreciate that person more. God forbid one actually tries to be a good listener, or a good reciprocator, or a good lover -- it all just gets taken for granted. It's like the only way to gain love nowadays is to push people away and I HATE this idea! Please tell me I am not alone in my thoughts... if there are so many good people right now out there, single, why haven't I found anyone yet? Why do I keep finding examples of jerks winning? Where are the smart women at? I hate this feeling of loneliness. I've been with many friends lately but it still eats at me. Are all the truly beautiful, smart, caring women truly taken by jerks?
Touche Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 People can cheat, lie, steal, drink to death, debase, act selfishly, ignore, or even maim their partners. But then those abused people stay in the relationship. But god forbid, other times people leave relationships for the smallest, silliest reasons ever. I guess you could say I am still bitter over my own breakup. My girlfriend broke up with me over virtually nonexistent issues, that, when fought over at length, lead to high stressors that result in a lack of willingness to make things work. It seems like if you are good to someone they will still dump you for the most idiotic, selfish things ever. After the breakup she fled right back to another ex and hooked up before leaving to a summer program -- an ex who was nothing but s*** to her in the past relationship. She'd always give him all the attention in the world, all the sex in the world, with nothing in return. But because he's an a**h***, he apparently gets his way yet again. He gets the juice without the squeeze. I spoke with a friend the other day who was having bad luck with her boyfriend, but it was because he was an immature individual. Her claims of "I just want a nice guy!" fell on deaf ears. People say this crap and still give themselves up to people who are simply using them. Why does it seem like the brainless, selfish, undeserving jerks get the upper hand in almost every situation? I (and many others) considered myself to be a really good boyfriend and friend to my ex... and yet I got treated like s***. She gave attention and affection to everyone but me. I'm so sick of seeing jerks win out again, and again, and again. I'm tempted to just say "f*** it!" and treat people like s*** from now on, because apparently women love it and appreciate that person more. God forbid one actually tries to be a good listener, or a good reciprocator, or a good lover -- it all just gets taken for granted. It's like the only way to gain love nowadays is to push people away and I HATE this idea! Please tell me I am not alone in my thoughts... if there are so many good people right now out there, single, why haven't I found anyone yet? Why do I keep finding examples of jerks winning? Where are the smart women at? I hate this feeling of loneliness. I've been with many friends lately but it still eats at me. Are all the truly beautiful, smart, caring women truly taken by jerks? I don't think I'm "truly beautiful" but I think I'm pretty smart and caring and my husband isn't a jerk. Only girls go for the jerks. Women generally want a "good guy."
Love Hurts Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 You sound like you are a prize waiting for some lucky female. Don't let a few bad apples spoil you.. In essence you are the lucky one.. You are probably too good for what just left your side. A more deserving female will be presented to you one day.. One that deserves a man, with the qualities you possess. Sometimes we need to clean house in order to recieve our guest. Just be patient... you may go through a few more of those relationships before the right one... for you ...comes along.... In order to help yourself weed through ......... make a personal list of attributes you are searching for in a female. When you recognize she does not match your ideal... don't go there............ Hold out... It can save you the pain of heart, not mention mental stress. Take care and Good luck
alostdj Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 yeah, im with you... a**h***s have the upper hand for many years since most young women still have major self issues, any woman who has been past thier insecure self destructive phase will not want an a**h***, too bad in america we seem to produce a majority of insecure self destructive females and very few well adjusted ones
ronnieromance Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 This probably won't go over well, but it sounds like he was laying the pipe well and that's why she ran right back. Pull your next girls hair more and spank her more often. Seriously -R-
Brittanyjean06 Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 You treated her right, and now she is back to an a**h*** who treated her wrong. She was an ass to you, but she is being the lower one by choosing to go to someone who was an ass to her, heck she desearves it
hyakku Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 You know what I don't understand? Why is it that all the time a girl goes back to an ex, its "always" with an a**h***. Could it possibly be that they aren't all a**h***s, that maybe you are just the problem? Its never that is it? You need to be more than just the "reliable, predictable, overly nice guy". You need to be a real man some times, and tell women what you are going to do that night, that you DON'T want to go to all the places she always wants too, and you need to start using those two round objects between your legs called BALLS.
kitten chick Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Persistence and an excellent sense of timing...they can sense vulnerability and postbreakup is prime timing.
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Persistence and an excellent sense of timing...they can sense vulnerability and postbreakup is prime timing. Unfortunately there are some cold-hearted people like that out there. Plus some people get into that comfort zone in a relationship and it is pretty much impossible for them to break out of that comfort zone and end the relationship. I just think that its funny when some say that woman like this abuse, when that is not the case.
runner Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Persistence and an excellent sense of timing...they can sense vulnerability and postbreakup is prime timing. excellent observation also, there might be some truth in that 'laying the pipe' comment.
Author Vertex Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 You know what I don't understand? Why is it that all the time a girl goes back to an ex, its "always" with an a**h***. Could it possibly be that they aren't all a**h***s, that maybe you are just the problem? Its never that is it? You need to be more than just the "reliable, predictable, overly nice guy". You need to be a real man some times, and tell women what you are going to do that night, that you DON'T want to go to all the places she always wants too, and you need to start using those two round objects between your legs called BALLS. By a**h*** I mean someone I consider really undeserving and immature. This guy has always had everything paid for from his rich parents, never reciprocated in bed, always put her down, never paid attention to her, never went on dates with her, etc. He was not academically intelligent either. It was an abusive relationship where she just chased him the whole time and gave him whatever he wanted. I was nothing like him at all to my girlfriend in any sense whatsoever. You treated her right, and now she is back to an a**h*** who treated her wrong. She was an ass to you, but she is being the lower one by choosing to go to someone who was an ass to her, heck she desearves it What eats me though is that this other guy didn't deserve anything! He was nothing but mean to this girl and yet my ex is just so willing to just blow this guy whenever he wants. He lost absolutely nothing and gained affections from my girlfriend that I couldn't even get from her. It just makes me furious.
Woggle Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Because deep down women want a strong man they can respect and a**h***s project an image of strength.
Sevenmack Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 The problem isn't the so-called a**h***s -- not that some of these men aren't, but not all of them are -- or the women who choose them over so-called nice guys, but the nice guys themselves. And much of it goes back to two things: Choice and manhood. First is choice: The reality is too many of these so-called nice guys are picking women whom aren't interested in making themselves sexually or emotionally available to them. Not that they aren't interested in sex or emotional attachment, but they aren't choosing these men for all kind of reasons, including an actual attraction to a**h***s. Yet the nice guys, as they call themselves, continue to pick one emotionally-and-sexually unavailable woman after another and complain (naturally) when things go awry. It comes down to choice. Stop choosing women who aren't going to make themselves sexually or emotionally available. It's not hard to spot them either. If you've had a kind of woman that has treated you in that 'nice guy' fashion (go out for a while, then dump you when someone more interesting comes along and so forth), then you know it when you see it. Stay away. Or the best way I can put it: Why are you chasing Angelina Jolies when Sarah Michelle Gellars are the ones who will actually have a real shot. The second is manhood: So-called nice guys are called that because they are weak. They don't cut the women off when they show signs of disrespect. They don't set terms of an arrangement. They don't take responsibility for picking women whom aren't interested in them or for ignoring the signs that things aren't going to work out in the first place -- and the signs are almost always there from the beginning. You're not responsible for women who cheat on you or hurt you emotionally. But you are responsible for how you react to those situations and handle your business in general. Too many 'nice guys' sit around bemoaning how a woman done them wrong -- and it may be true -- instead of dumping her, giving her a tongue-lashing and moving on to date other women. And they don't learn the lessons from each ruptured relationship in order to improve their chances of meeting someone who will be sexually and emotionally available. You don't need to be an a**h***. You just need to be a man and make smart choices. Not that the latter always happens all the time, but if you're at least the former, you'll own up to it.
portableversion Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Vertex, You stated that this a**h*** ex comes from a rich family. BINGO! She's chasing the money. And it's amazing what women will put up with for a lot of cash. Truly, women are whores. Peruse the OW forum...you'll see that vast majority of the OW's describe their MM as 'financially successful'.
Sevenmack Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 ^But it isn't all about money. I know plenty of men who earn just decent coin who have gorgeous women on their arms, in their beds and as their wives. The reality is that for most women, especially those with any experience, money isn't enough to erase a man's low character, inability to stay groomed or be an interesting enough lover. Besides, I know plenty of rich guys who buy the pussy and still can't keep it. They are 'nice guys' for sure; weak men who drive their Ferrari, don a leather Lamborghini logo jacket and still can't get any. Again, it goes back to choice and manhood. Choosing the right woman, choosing to not be with women who won't make themselves emotionally or sexually available, choosing to not be some woman's doormat. And being a man, owning up to your mistakes in judgment and making better decisions the next time.
Author Vertex Posted June 5, 2006 Author Posted June 5, 2006 My problem though is that trying to enforce a boundary usually resulted in a huge piss-fest on her end. She was unable to take constructive criticism or do anything other than what she wanted. I suppose this was my first mistake in not forcing her to just DEAL with it. You can only be the mender so many times. No but I truly think she is attracted to money. But she didn't appreciate it when I spent it on her (I am not nearly as rich as this guy but at least I've earned my own money -- a lot more than he's earned on his own). The best times in my relationship, I realize, occurred after I got something expensive for her. It makes me sick thinking about it (why are things always easier in hindsight?). She wants trips to Europe, expensive jewelry, lots of makeup, ski trips, a penthouse, etc, from a tall, rich man with a six-pack. I just feel like what she wants is so idealized and I wish she'd be fine with just chilling out at home, snuggling and watching a movie together sometimes. But whenever I was unable to provide a three-ring circus for her she'd "get bored" and blame me for "being routine" despite the fact that she never wanted to do anything. It's like she complained about us lacking passion when she never wished to do anything passionate. Ungh. Thing is, you say not to choose people not available, but how do you know? In my case especially I find it hard to hit it off with new people, but admittedly I haven't gone out there to meet a whole lot of girls. The ones I have I tend to hit it off with. Like girls really like me once we get talking but it's hard to talk to the right ones. I seem to choose the same types of girls: Users. But I don't know if it's poor choice on my part or immaturity on their part.
ronnieromance Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Vertex, I'm telling you, get on WebDate and you'll find some women that are more prone to being ...not like this last lady. They've generally dated "that" guy already and are over it. -R-
alphamale Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Why does it seem like the brainless, selfish, undeserving jerks get the upper hand in almost every situation? Because they are masculine VERTEX...that trait wins out over all others when it comes to attracting women. Period.
portableversion Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 so masculine=selfish, jerky, and brainless. I'd agree with that!
alphamale Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 so masculine=selfish, jerky, and brainless. yes, just like feminine=emotional & bitchy...
Touche Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Because they are masculine VERTEX...that trait wins out over all others when it comes to attracting women. Period. Wrong again. Wins out over all others when it comes to attracting certain KINDS of women...you need to get out more, Alph.
alphamale Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Wins out over all others when it comes to attracting certain KINDS of women... yeah...women with tits and puxxies..
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 Wrong again. Wins out over all others when it comes to attracting certain KINDS of women...you need to get out more, Alph. jerks/a holes will get a certain type of woman, while a real man will get the complete opposite of what the jerk/a hole gets.
alphamale Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 jerks/a holes will get a certain type of woman, yeah, he'll get the good-looking women... while a real man will get the complete opposite of what the jerk/a hole gets. yes which will be the fat/ugly table-scraps
Pyro Posted June 5, 2006 Posted June 5, 2006 yeah, he'll get the good-looking women... yes which will be the fat/ugly table-scraps So you are admitting to not being a real man? Jerks get the woman that are ditzy, clueless, lacking self-esteem. Real men get the self respecting and intelligent woman Both groups have there good looking and not so good looking, but I would rather go with the second choice.
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