SadGreenEyes Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 Being involved in an affectionless relationship for close to 2 years has made me become a woman on a mission so to speak. I have been determined to bring affection and intimacy back into this relationship. By doing so and each time I have brought up the topic, has caused numerous fights and have in fact back fired on me. It is doing the complete opposite...it is pushing him further away and causing him to resent me. By obtaining a psychotherapist almost 2 months ago, she has advised me to stop bringing this subject up to him because, "well, it hasnt worked for you this far, has it?". She's got a point. She did tell me that I was going to screw up from time to time, bringing it up to him. No doubt. She suggested I keep myself busy and preoccupied. Take up a hobby. Play your games on the computer. Get a life. D'oh! How can I keep myself distracted? Sure, I can play on the computer, I can read a book, go for a walk, but my question is - How can I possibly close off that part of my heart, mind and soul? How can I stifle those wants, needs and desires that I desperatley want and need and have wanted for so long? My mind never stops, it's always there. I do not have the emotional security that I need. I feel unwanted, uncared for, unloved, depressed, undesirable, anxious, nervous, rejected, lonely, inadequite, abandoned, unattractive, angry, resentful and hostile. How can I possbily manage this for the sake of my relationship, and by doing this can and would possibly better our relationship and get me what I want? Is this possible?
whichwayisup Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 By doing so and each time I have brought up the topic, has caused numerous fights and have in fact back fired on me. It is doing the complete opposite...it is pushing him further away and causing him to resent me. I hate to say it. Time to s*** or get off the pot. Either FIX the relationship WITH him, or breakup. Why should you settle? To be with someone who you can't be affectionate with or have affection is crazy. I don't get why your therapist would tell you to stop bringing it up. Sorry, that's abit nuts. The whole purpose of getting things GOOD again in the relationship is to talk about and want to make changes together - So life can be better at home. If he isn't willing to put in the effort, why are you still there? Why stay with someone if all your needs are not being met?
Recommended Posts