dancehead Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 If you want the full background please see my thread in friends and lovers forum. But basically my friend/lover/FWB has rejected me after years of on - off loving feelings from both sides. Shes now serious about this new guy - very serious and I am cast aside and so easily replaced. All I want to do is be with her properly and we were going to do that only two weeks before she decided to go with this other guy. She even cheated on him with me a few times. We've already had two breakup meetings with much emotion and me not accepting it. I know I probably can't get her back. The only way I'll get her back is if things don't work out with this guy. But I was planning to see her this week just to drop some stuff round. I wanted to give her a CD of songs that illustrate what i'm feeling. I feel if i see her and show/tell her how I am still suffering she might believe I do love her and maybe would come back to me. Is this crazy? I feel crazy right now. What would you advise me to do? I could just give her the stuff be civil and not mention my hurt and go. Or I could do the above and risk her telling me she has got engaged or something which would hurt even more? What do i do. I am going out of my mind I can't sleep and I have a desperate urge to see her and plead with her to dump this idiot and come back to me.
Diver012 Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 Its not crazy, but its not healthy either. You may have had something wonderful at 1 time. That wonderful feeling you shared with this woman is now over. You want it back. She doesnt want to share those feelings with you anymore. She wants to share them with someone else. Burns deep down inside. I know. It burns me too. I know I keep saying the same thing over and over again. Even though I loved this woman, I dont want her back. I dont think on and off again relationships are healthy. I think your best move is to move on. IMHO... No Contact. Dont give her any CD's. Dont call her. Dont go to the places she goes to, if you can... I would take what ever time you need, and get on with your life. Even of you have to seek counseling, DO IT. A friendly voice on the telephone offering you suport can do wonders too.
Author dancehead Posted June 4, 2006 Author Posted June 4, 2006 Thanks for replying. Well it was a week with NC. Then she sent me a text asking to please let her know i was ok. So I said I was fine. She said she was glad things were better. I do have to see her once again anyway to give her some stuff back. I feel a need to give a CD they were a bit of a tradition. I thought this one would be a final one. And I've spent so long putting it together. She wants us to be friends, but i can't handle that at the moment. I've hardly even accepted shes with this loser. Sorry i'm very bitter.
amaysngrace Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 Hi. If you never thought enough of her to turn your FWB relationship into a real, lasting, loving relationship, why are you so sad now? Is it because you just want what you can't have?
Author dancehead Posted June 4, 2006 Author Posted June 4, 2006 I didn't even want us to be FWB. I wanted a proper relationship the start. It was her idea to do the FWB thing. The whole sorry tale is at the friends and lovers section. Now I've accepted there is no way back its just how to go about actually breaking up with her stopping contact that I'm having problems with. Perhaps i haven't accepted it. She thinks I can stay in her life and everything will be cosy. I can't do that. So its a question of how and when I will do the last meeting with her. I want her to see my pain, but everything I read on here tells me that i shouldn't show it no matter how hurt i am. I am worried I will stuff up. I need to go and do this thing I think to finish it in my own way. But I want to make a good job of it... don't know how
amaysngrace Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 I read your post from before on how things all went down. She sounds to me to be a toxic person for you. She has contaminated what should have been a great relationship for you both, taken years from you, caused you stress and is taking up way too much of your time. She sounds selfish, and is expecting to suck more of your blood if you allow her to. Please stop seeing her as a goddess. She isn't. Someone who earns the title of goddess should be everything you are absolutely looking for in a woman. You have admitted she has faults, some pretty major flaws IMO. Let her go as gracefully as possible. You deserve to be loved and to love. She wouldn't allow it and you were okay with it, taking from her all she was able to give. Set a higher standard for yourself. You should be with someone who is able to meet your needs, and she isn't the one. Please, for your own good, let her go. Grace
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