Weird

[destination_unknown]

I havent spoken to my ex in a month. I have been doing my bestest to move on, and see somebody else. Nothing has happened with the new guy we are just being friends for now. I'm just not ready for anything yet.

 

So anyway, I had an accident yesterday and for a few minutes I thought that was it for me. Just before I passed out I thought about my ex and how I wished things were right between us, that we at least got to say goodbye and make peace. I know it sounds silly but head injuries I guess make you a little sentimental. I cant tell him.

 

He is with somebody else and anything I could say to him anymore would probably sound like some manipulative attempt to get him back. It was so hard to not talk to him when my dad was waiting for his scan results (he has terminal cancer) and not saying anything when I was in the hospital yesterday and really scared. Yes, it hurts like hell to know that we arent going to be together ever again, I accept that totally - way too much damage done, and its pretty selfish really but I wish he would just say no hard feelings or good luck or even goodbye.

 

He works a very dangerous job and my worst fear is that something would happen to him on the job and nobody would tell me, I would never know.

 

I guess I'm having a pointless pity party, nothing can be done now, just wanted to get it out.

[Love Hurts]

He was your strength, your pillar of support, your place of comfort.

At some period of the relationship.

 

Now you are experiencing one crisis after another. This is a time when you would leaned on him for comfort through the storm...

 

Your weakest times. How natural for you to crave the man that was.

As you recall his ability to comfort and help get you through.

 

Now your alone.. but you have something greater inside yourself..you are not accustomed to... You. You alone have strength. Each event you are going through and thinking of him... You are making it one step at a time. without him.

 

You could also pass on... how would he know, if you were amongst the living or the dead?

 

It is difficult to loose a loved one........... in the end we leave the way we arrived...........alone.

 

If ; he had an accident and was hospitalized, you heard of it ... went to visit him..

His new girlfriend would be there with glaring eyes,as in why, are you here? He would treat you coldly. So your concerns and heart are practically told to keep to yourself.

 

I know... it happened to me... I had your thoughts.. My boyfriend was in an accident and hospitalized.... If anything I realized...... we are so over.. and I still hurt for him...

 

That was a long time ago, his pain in my heart is history.

 

Time heals all wounds.

[destination_unknown]

I know, your right. Its just hard. Thats the plain and simple of it, its hard for all of us. I'm pretty lucky anyway that I wont have permanent damage so there's always a bright side.