sassiex Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 ive been with my ..... mm and i use the word my loosely for 10 months now! talk about a rollercoaster ride of emotions!! ive been the happiest ever and then ive been the saddest ever!! i love him so much and when we are together its the best ! its the best sex ive ever had and we get on like a house on fire!! and i make him laugh so much he cries!! he does not know how i feel about him and i wondering should i tell him?? i do not have the greastest track record with men...see i luv the chase !! when i get them i loose interest! but i truly believe this is different never felt like this b4 but this relationship is proper doing my head in ! please help cannot ever imagine being with another man what shall i do ?
lovernotafighter Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 as I told my MM, the highs are so high it's almost euphoric but the lows..dear lord the lows are killer in every way. tell him if you wish but I wouldn't have high expectations on him leaving his W even if he reciprocates your feelings. mine did (feelings wise) and he isn't going no place. I love the chase as well, but to be honest it felt like I was doing all the chasing sometimes...what a drag! but if it's true what your saying that you'll end up losing interest then best not to upset the apple cart just in case he actually does choose to leave his W for you.
stillhere Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 Right now, i'm in the exact same boat as you. I've never loved someone like him, never trusted someone like him. I don't want to be without him. But some day, i will. He is not leaving his wife. My MM and i have been together for a year now. We are madly in love. We tell each other often. I have never felt this free with sex before, it's awesome, to love someone so deeply. But it's not going to last. He's told me too many times to count that he's not leaving. This cold, harsh reality just hit me the other day. To love someone you will never have. I can say it, but i can't seem to do it myself.........don't tell him, and find someone new. Does he love you, has he told you? Did he ever talk about leaving his W for you. Has he made any promises like that? Does he talk about a future with you, or are you just sex to him? I guess regardless of the answers to those questions, more often than not, the MM does not leave his W for you. As much as you'd like to think you are the one and he will risk it all, they don't think that way. They stay where they are comfortable.
Author sassiex Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 thank you lover not fighter, your right dont think i will tell him i luv him!! whats the point!!! do love him though! hard isnt it? how long have you been with your mm ? x;)
Author sassiex Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 in answer to your questions he hasnt said the actual words.....but actions speak louder than words dont you think.....i feel it off of him!! he treats me like a princess takes me out is loving in public on tuesday he came to my friend house with me for supper in the next road to where he lives with his wife!! i know that he really cares about me too X what about you ?
lovernotafighter Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 thank you lover not fighter, your right dont think i will tell him i luv him!! whats the point!!! do love him though! hard isnt it? how long have you been with your mm ? x;) yeah..don't tell 'em..besides it will come out eventually any way really..I know I never intended on telling my MM how I felt till he ended up telling me..then he acted all weird..blah. I should be calling him my exMM because we just broke up and are in total NC for the last well 2 weeks kinda...haven't seen him for 3 though. yikes in july I will have know him for 2 years but our real A has been about 8 months:sick:
stillhere Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 After 3 months, we said those 3 words. I never thought i would hear that from him. He doesn't say anything he doesn't mean. He said i'm the best lover he's ever had, and i the same for him. I'm 28, he's 41. Been with his W for 20 years. From the beginning, he's said that he would never leave. I always thought that i could make him love me and that some day he would. He told me now that it's not that he wouldn't leave her for me, that he can't leave her for me. What ever way i look at it, he's NOT leaving her for me. We talk every day, sometimes 3,4,5 times a day. He's my everything, but i'm not his. He has a family and a W at home.
lovernotafighter Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 I don't know about you but I think hearing from outsiders about his wife finally made me call it quits..as horrid as it sounds I was like woah...brakes on...she supposedly treats him like crap and is a mess but you won't leave for me? game fricking over. it is his W granted and I have no buisness feeling that way but I did feel like I was punched in the gut. it was better if I didn't get more details..I didn't want them..reality bites
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 He may care about you, or even love you, but bottomline, he's got a wife and more than likely he isn't going to leave her. So, if you want to be the OW for a long time, this is how your life will be. That rollercoaster ride. Being second or third down his list, depending on what's going on in his life. Be prepared for letdowns, broken promises and spending holidays alone. I think you're worth more than that, don't you? I hope one day you're strong enough to end it and find a single man who will love just you. Plus, is this guy worth it?? All the good feelings he brings, is it worth to feel all the bad feelings too? Relationships aren't meant to bring on so much pain. Affairs DO.
Walking away Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 WWIU is right. Expect the highs to be high and the lows to get even lower. As the affair progresses, the pain will get more and more extreme. Believe it. Any xOW would tell you this. For as you desire more and more from this relationship, you will get hurt more and more when your increasing needs aren't being met. It is just the natural evolution of an affair. There is pain and destruction in the future for everyone when an affair continues. And your self esteem will take a hit. It is inevitable. For you will wonder what is wrong with YOU for staying in a less than healthy relationship....or you will wonder what is wrong with YOU that he doesn't leave his W and spend eternity with you? The merry go round will go on and on until YOU stop it. Because he won't. Not unless he gets caught. And even then, he won't completely let it go. And if he doesn't get caught...why would he want to change anything? He is getting what he THINKS is the best of both worlds. So he has no incentive to change a thing. And you will be left wounded. It is impossible to avoid. You are feeling it already. Run away now. Please. And take care of YOURSELF. WA
scarletletter Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 Been with my MM exactly 10 months also. I have told him that I loved him and he has done the same...didn't change anything, it was our own personal feelings. He knows how I feel about him and I know how he feels about me. I never really had to say it, but it the throws of passion, I did say it and I didn't really regret it. It's only natural for two people who share so much together to feel that way. You are going to fall in love, it's how you handle it that is important.
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