YoMomma Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 The W - got a call yesterday from someone telling her that H is running around on her. H called me to let me know that she confronted him, she believed him when he said nothing is going on - not to worry! How weird is this that he is asking me for emotional support? I know he wants to stay in his marriage - I don't want him for a H. He is a lover, that is it - and it sounds horrible I know - but that is all it will ever be. I do love him, but would never want to be married to him, he has cheated before on the W, I know if I were her he'd do the same. But isn't it insane that he would ask me to be there for him through this? We are good friends, and we are lovers, that is all we will ever be.
makerm4me Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 I don't think it is insane. if you are friends as yousay you are , then maybe that is what he is after. Your friendhsip. My mm is not someone I would want for h right now, or really in the future either, but he is a great lover and a wonderful friend! i would just be careful that he is not using some of this to get to you.
Author YoMomma Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 I don't think it is insane. if you are friends as yousay you are , then maybe that is what he is after. Your friendhsip. My mm is not someone I would want for h right now, or really in the future either, but he is a great lover and a wonderful friend! i would just be careful that he is not using some of this to get to you. He knows he has my friendship, there is no question about that. I think he is afraid I am going to leave the relationship out of fear of us being found out. In my heart I know this is the warning sign, I know we should stop being together. If he left his wife, I would be with him forever, but I would never marry him. And yes, I know he has his cake and is eating it too! I think there are a lot of us out there, eating cake.
stillafool Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 Maybe he was telling you that to find out if you had anything to do with it. That perhaps you are playing games with him and his wife. Just a thought. Otherwise I think he needed to talk about that "almost caught" moment with someone and you are the obvious choice. It's not the kind of thing you want to tell everyone because it would raise questions like "Are you running around on her?"
makerm4me Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 This is a stupid q and I am probably going to get torn to shreds for it but curiosity kills me. If you say you would stay with him forever, even though you don't/wouldn't marry him, why don't you just stay with him? Other than the obvious reasons of its wrong, I know. But I am curious if you love him and you want to be with him like this then why end it? I think I missed something in your response is all. Crazy me. I also don't think much of the "having your cake and eating it to" phrase. I don't know why but how is it we are eating cake when usually we feel like crap? Or are the mm the ones really enjoying the cake and all the eating ? I think so.
Author YoMomma Posted June 4, 2006 Author Posted June 4, 2006 This is a stupid q and I am probably going to get torn to shreds for it but curiosity kills me. If you say you would stay with him forever, even though you don't/wouldn't marry him, why don't you just stay with him? Other than the obvious reasons of its wrong, I know. But I am curious if you love him and you want to be with him like this then why end it? I think I missed something in your response is all. Crazy me. I also don't think much of the "having your cake and eating it to" phrase. I don't know why but how is it we are eating cake when usually we feel like crap? Or are the mm the ones really enjoying the cake and all the eating ? I think so. I don't usually feel like crap and we are both enjoying the cake. I know that sounds terrible. I would stay with him forever if he was single. I have no intention of being the OW for the rest of my life. We never intented to have this happen in our relationship we were friends. He knows if and when I meet someone else, the affair is over and that may sound hypocritical but its true. I do love him, but I love myself more.
Author YoMomma Posted June 4, 2006 Author Posted June 4, 2006 Good for you!! I wish I was a strong as you are! I am not that strong, if I were I wouldn't have had the affair to begin with. It has been over a year and I know that the longer it goes on the harder it will be to end it, especially since he does not want to end it. I do think that if and when I say it is over he will respect my wishes and not contact me.
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