Agent M Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 OK....my b/f really likes to do what he likes to do, but I think this goes beyond acceptable. Tell me what you think. Last Fri. night we talked on the phone. He wanted me to come over, but he was really tired. I wasn't, and wanted to go and do something. I got the feeling he kept asking me to come over Friday because he didn't want to hang on SUNDAY, even though we had already agreed on going canoeing. So....I expressed this intuition, and he was like, well just come over and we'll talk. I said I really want to enjoy my evening, don't want to talk all night about this, and perhaps I should just see you Sun (the first sunny day in a long time!. We can talk about it then. He said great, see you Sun., or come over tonight. I went over at 9 pm Fri., but he didn't mention it. SO....Sun. comes around and he has plans with me and some other friends to take his canoe out on the lake. HE NEVER SHOWS UP. I couldn't figure out why he would totally blow us all off, so I started asking around. Nobody had seen him, I couldn't believe it. And, the canoe was gone (he stores it at the lake) all day. I talked to others who went out on the lake, nobody had seen him. I figured after several hours that he probably paddled to the other side of the lake, pulled the canoe into the woods, and went hiking. I went and did my own thing after awhile. At 9:00 he still wasn't home. I went over at midnight and woke him up to ask him what happened. He totally freaked out. He said he didn't want to get in an argument and I said i wasn't there to start one. He said YOU TALKED TO EVERYBODY and when I asked him how he knew that he said, "I was around" . He then started lecturing me about how I knew intuitively that he wouldn't meet me Sun. and I should use that knowledge. He said he didn't tell me he wouldn't be there because i don't want to hear it. That's true, but i told him I'd like to spend atleast one weekend day with him. He also said it's fair because I left him waiting on Fri. night (he was SLEEPING when I went over at 9 pm) He hasn't called all week, neither have I. WTF!!?? He's NOT seeing anyone else, it's a freedom issue with him, he was probably just out hiking all day, but WTF! I respect needing freedom, but this is not cool. What do you think? (Now looking back over this I see how screwy it is....)
allina Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 You're right, it IS screwy, and he's being a dick. You should really demand a bit more respect from this guy. How long have you been with him? Has he always been like this?
Author Agent M Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 We've been together since Sept., and yes, he has done things like this before although not as bad. He's changed a lot, for the better, along the way, but it's like I've got to completely let go in order not to get let down I guess.
allina Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 Awww, he sounds like a s***ty bf, if this sort of behavior is an improvement then why are you with him?? It seems like you are trying to be really understanding of his "need for freedom" it isn't your fault, it's his.
eyeswideshut Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 Read The Rules, girl, and give him a good whacking!!! I was with a total king who treated me like gold. And 8 years into the relationship, he was being a bit too busy and on his own, so I did the Rules on him, and within a month he was on his hands and needs begging for my attention. hahahaha
eyeswideshut Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 It's the title of a book called The Rules. I forget the name of the authors. (two women authors) Also, have you read, Why men love bitches? It's like the Rules, but more empowering. Men have to be put in their place. Believe me. (read a book and you will understand male psychology better and will be better equipped to deal with him.) Also read, He's Just not that into you. This one sounds as though he's just not that into you. Don't mean to be mean, but you deserve someone who pursues YOU, and who respects your time. Not someone who jerks everyone around like that. Let me know...
Author Agent M Posted June 3, 2006 Author Posted June 3, 2006 I'll get the books....sounds good. I have read he's just not that into you, and I was wondering if this was the case. But, I know he really cares a lot. I think he's emotionally immature, likes his space, and doesn't really know what to do. But now I don't know what to do....it's been a week with no contact and I'm wondering what in the world is going on....should I call? Investigate? Talk to one of his friends who I know will be confidential? Or just blow it off and see if he comes around? I don't like to sit for so long without answers, but I also don't want to chase (especially when it's his fault!)
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