MTK Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 This link was swamped in the daily posts of LS and was originally posted by Bendit I believe. What are you opinions on this subject matter? Linked thread. Does the writer expect every man and woman to be cut from the mold of prince charming and a housewife from the 1950s TV commercials, and if not a "Loser?"
Returning Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 The theory is a bit alarmist. I guess everyone has personality disorder to a greater or lesser extent. If the traits displayed by the person are mild, you can talk things through and laugh about it there isn't a problem. After all you fell in love with the person you met and shouldn't want to change them. However, some disordered peronalities can be seductive to entrap you, once your in if you cant see what is happening you can get in real bad trouble. They project their mental disorder onto you, you end up in a relationship that is all about security and control, their security and their control over you. It begins as an emotional insecurity but once they have you it can go any way. If you mean something to them, they love you, you are really in trouble. The more you mean to them the more they devalue you and make you feel worthless, but they need you so wont let you go. They control your emotions with a push and pull technique, show you kindness and interact, withdraw it and freeze you out. It can be soul destroying. I guess whoever wrote the guide is just trying to warn people. I was in a toxic situation with a woman I loved dearly for 16 years, still love her and miss her. I know I'm better off out but it's wierd getting used to the absence of her psychological presence. I tried to get out at least 6 times a year for the past 10 but she always got me back by her outrageous behaviour, short of calling the police I didn't know what to do. Now she want's to end it and I'm out and in NC.
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