Guest Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Hi My wife has told me to get out of our home, she has been doing txt sex and sending getting pics from a guy at work (we both work at the same place) thy were just about to actually do it when I found out. Unfortunatly she wants to be his bit on the side rather that be with me. His wife has breast cancer I am leaving as she insists she loves him one of my sons is now suffering frm depression because of this and is on tranks. I want to tell his wife and also tell the people at work she wants me to tell everyone that we just decided to seperate. what should I do?
corwin Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 First of all.. she's the cheater.. she should leave the house...NOT YOU!! Do not move out of the house.. if she wants to be alone, then she can leave. Affairs thrive in secrecy. You must expose this with proof to everyone who has influence in this situation. Her family, your family, the work place, and most importantly the other man's wife. She has a right to know. I realize it will be tough for her because of the cancer but she must be told. I'm sorry your wife is putting you thru this. Just remember, the affair is her fault alone. Maybe you had marriage problems or weren't the best husband, but the decisions to cheat was hers alone. Don't let her blame you for her affair.
Woggle Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 Don't leave the house and tell people including his wife the real reason you are splitting. She a lot of nerve asking you to keep it secret like you are her little doormat.
Carlthecoffeeaddict Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 your wife is a selfish bitch. Tell her to get the ( ) out. There is no explanation for her behavior, and you need to be firm and tell her flat out youre not going to tolerate her crap. Just because her friend's wife has breast cancer doesnt justify an affair.....that is downright pathetic Not only is it affecting you, but your son and his depression is something that I would work on. As long as she is going to be living at your house, he is going to continue his suffering, and yours. the sooner you kick her out, the better you will feel, and she will get the message.
riobikini Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 I concur with above posters. Even with the part where Carl refers to her as a 'selfish bitch'. (Grin) -Rio
Returning Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 I would go one better, when she leaves the house, get the locks changed, bin bag all her stuff and put it out on the lawn (or in the dumpster) for her to collect. Change your phone numbers and go NC, leave her to it.
reddog63 Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 You men need to grow some BALLS..........she messes around and tells you to leave and you leave???????????????? Tell her to go take a F in hike........
RecordProducer Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 Telling the man's wife is none of your business. Your marriage is over. That lady is sick. While fighting cancer, it's crucial to have mental and physical strength. If you tell her - you will literally KILL HER. Is that what you want? Is that how cruel and selfish you are? That man and especially his wife have nothing to do with your marriage. Your wife is at fault. Divorce her and don't ruin other people's life to the point where they might die because of you! The people at work have no reason to be involved and I don't see why you would tell them anything and gossip about your son's mother. I hate gossiping - that's the worst form of human communication. You're both adults. Your wife made a mistake and you will split. Why do you need to tell anyone about it other than your close friends and family? Think about your son!
reddog63 Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 Maybe I misunderstood your post RP. Telling his wife is none of his business???? And it is not him telling that would kill her.........its the two people almost screwing around that is responsible. If this man wanted to save his marriage, that would exactly be what he should do, is expose it to all involved, family, etc. This may not even be true that his wife has cancer. If it were not for cancer, people would say she has the right to know.
SoleMate Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 I recommend NOT LEAVING your house - after all, why should you? Please search for Marriage Builders and try Plan A. As far as telling his wife, that is an INCREDIBLY tough question. It's hard even when the wife is in good health. (BTW, are you sure she has cancer? Or could this be somebody's BS?) Could you do anything to make sure she has support? Probably not, as she is a stranger to you, right? Or would you just drop this bomb on a sick lady's lap and then walk away as it explodes in her face? Please consider cognitive therapy for your son. I am surprised at him being given tranquilizers - at most, I would have recommended an antidepressant. Up to this event, did you feel you had a good marriage? What's the history? Has your son had emotional problems in the past?
Yamaha Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 I would not leave your house. She wants out so let her leave. I would not tell the man's wife but if people ask I would not hide the truth. You did nothing wrong and she is ending your marriage. She just doesn't want other people to hear what a bitch she because she obviously doesn't care about your feelings. Kick her out and good riddance.
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