waitingforlove Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Hello, I have a question, can somebody please help me? My exboyfriend has always complained that he didn't feel the "connection" between us. He wanted us to "see eye to eye," be "on the same page," "understand each other," "relate to each other," and so on. When I asked him what connection meant to him, his answer was always, "I don't know ... you know how some people just click and always understand each other, like you and S (my best friend -- who's a girl)." I tried to explain to him that my best friend and I were both girls and we had similar personalities, and plus we had known each other for many years ... but that didn't satisfy him. He still felt that "it should happen between us." I've always had the feeling that he wanted some quick fix, magical feelings of being connected, and so I ignored that. And eventually, that was the reason he broke up with me. We went out for 11 months. When we broke up, he said he had tried for a really long time -- six months -- to connect with me, but it didn't happen. So between the 7th and 11th month when we were still together, he had already given up and thought that we would never ever connect. He said after that, each time he saw me, he would think to himself, "maybe this time it (the connection) will happen," and it never did. So eventually he felt totally exhausted from trying to establish that connection, and he had to break up because of that. I'm still trying to figure out what exactly "connection" means, especially to guys. Do you think my exboyfriend was really asking for too much that I couldn't possibly give? Or was it my problem that I couldn't even satisfy his request for emotional connection? Was six months really a very long time already? I still can't imagine or understand exactly the level of connection he was asking for. I wish to let myself "off the hook," but at the same time I still feel guilty for not being able to satisfy his request .... Can somebody please give me some insights what you see in this situation and what connection means? Thank you so much in advance! I'd appreciate really!
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