KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 A guy at work just asked for my number. And I gave it to him. He's nice but I am so messed up right now. I'd like to make new friends but not looking for a guy. Goddamnit. Now I really wanna cry.
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 A guy at work just asked for my number. And I gave it to him. He's nice but I am so messed up right now. I'd like to make new friends but not looking for a guy. Goddamnit. Now I really wanna cry. As humans, we tend to make irrational decisions when we are so called messed up. It happens to the best of us. You should probably talk to this guy and tell him that you made a bad choice. No need to go into details because you barely know him, but you also don't want to lead him on, so the sooner the better. I am so sorry for your sadness. I have been through break-ups and I know how bad that they can be. Just hang in there and you always have us here on LS to talk to.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 He seems nice. Like a friend, I would like to invite him to hang out, but that's it. Nothing else. Can I let him know that?
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 He seems nice. Like a friend, I would like to invite him to hang out, but that's it. Nothing else. Can I let him know that? of course you can let him know that. You can wait for him to call, or catch him on a work break and explain what you are going through. he may only want to date you, but maybe he is willing to be a friend and listen to what you have to say. Either way, just be sure to tell him where you stand before he keeps having the wrong idea, because where it stands now, he thinks that you are interested in possibly dating him.
alphamale Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 He's nice but I am so messed up right now. I'd like to make new friends but not looking for a guy. I think you should tell him that KM so he does not get his hopes up and/or waste his time. Unless of course you want to take advantage of him to get a free meal
GB111 Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Hey Kitten, I'm with Riddler. I'd just probably tell him when he calls to ask you out. Just say that you're really not looking for a romantic relationship, but think he's a nice guy and would enjoy getting to know him. Sounds like you're not certain something couldn't happen in the longer term, and it never hurts to make another friend. Just make sure he knows that that's all you're looking for. Good luck, Kitten! GB
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 Ok- I'm talking myself off the sudden panic attack this caused. It's silly- I can just tell him I'm just shopping for friends. Just all of a sudden, I wanted my ex more than anything in the world- like that moment made it that much more real- this is my future and I am NOT ready for it yet. He does't seem like the type to take it hard- in fact, I might like to introduce him to a single friend of mine... WHy did he have to ask on a day I was already having an anxiety attack?!
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Ok- I'm talking myself off the sudden panic attack this caused. It's silly- I can just tell him I'm just shopping for friends. Just all of a sudden, I wanted my ex more than anything in the world- like that moment made it that much more real- this is my future and I am NOT ready for it yet. He does't seem like the type to take it hard- in fact, I might like to introduce him to a single friend of mine... WHy did he have to ask on a day I was already having an anxiety attack?! Thats Murphy's law for you I guess. I usually don't agree with making up a lie in order to get out of a situation but I think that its cool because of what you are going through and the fact that you don't know this guy enough to tell him about your personal life.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 Thats Murphy's law for you I guess. I usually don't agree with making up a lie in order to get out of a situation but I think that its cool because of what you are going through and the fact that you don't know this guy enough to tell him about your personal life. What lie? I dont need to lie. I am only looking for new friends as many of mine have left town. I need new faces. He knows about my break-up from chatting at lunch one day (it was in regards to both of us being not long out of school, why we were still in this town, where we might see ourselves moving in the future, etc and I had simply mentioned I was far less tied to the area now that I wasn't with my ex- others in the office know so its no secret).
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 What lie? I dont need to lie. I am only looking for new friends as many of mine have left town. I need new faces. He knows about my break-up from chatting at lunch one day (it was in regards to both of us being not long out of school, why we were still in this town, where we might see ourselves moving in the future, etc and I had simply mentioned I was far less tied to the area now that I wasn't with my ex- others in the office know so its no secret). I know that you don't need to lie but you said that you may tell him that you were only shopping for friends of yours, when that wasn't your original intention when giving him your number.
alphamale Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 What lie? I dont need to lie. usually when you give your # to a guy it means you're ready, willing, and able....apparently you are not, in retrospect.
Carlthecoffeeaddict Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 just be firm with the dude.....tell him whats going on. and yes, hang out with him, just get your ass out and get happy again. go to bars, laugh, drink do whatever you gotta do to get this EX off your mind. and its a compliment he asked for your number, you should be flattered.
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 usually when you give your # to a guy it means you're ready, willing, and able....apparently you are not, in retrospect. KM is going through a tough time. people who are going through situations similar to hers sometimes make irrational decisions.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 usually when you give your # to a guy it means you're ready, willing, and able....apparently you are not, in retrospect. Actually, when he asked I blurted out "What for?!" Then we kinda mutually muttered about hanging out. He had asked before if I wanted to come hang with friends at a bar during this special beer night (we had been talking about beers). So I'll clarify the situation- I get the impression he won't be bothered one way or another. It's not like we know each other enough for even an infatuation to have developed.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 KM is going through a tough time. people who are going through situations similar to hers sometimes make irrational decisions. I would really like to know when I'm going to begin being rational again. It's been over 3.5 months and I'm still a mess!
alphamale Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 So I'll clarify the situation- I get the impression he won't be bothered one way or another. It's not like we know each other enough for even an infatuation to have developed. right, then KM, please for the love of god nip this in the bud. send him an email or whatever. just so you're not up to it right now cause of your emotional frame-of-mind.
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 I would really like to know when I'm going to begin being rational again. It's been over 3.5 months and I'm still a mess! Only you will know the answer. Once time heals your pain, you will know. I look forward to hearing about it in the future.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 Only you will know the answer. Once time heals your pain, you will know. I look forward to hearing about it in the future. I sort of wish for a crazy, mean, icky ex so I could get past this easier. Instead, my ex is a darling and totally lovable, easy to be around, just emotionally immature and going through about as much personal lack of direction as I am. I hate this time period in my life... more than anything. I want it to be over. Grown up with a husband and goals and a house and a neat little life.. which I am sure will sometimes get messed up anyways. What is it w/ life?!!!!
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 I sort of wish for a crazy, mean, icky ex so I could get past this easier. Instead, my ex is a darling and totally lovable, easy to be around, just emotionally immature and going through about as much personal lack of direction as I am. I hate this time period in my life... more than anything. I want it to be over. Grown up with a husband and goals and a house and a neat little life.. which I am sure will sometimes get messed up anyways. What is it w/ life?!!!! If only I had the answer for that. Life would be so much eaiser. Just look at it as a positive. Once you are over this, it will have made you stronger and you will have gained knowledge on having a good relationship and you know what to look out for in the future. I have faith that you will not mess things up in the future.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 I emailed him (missed him for the day) just to let him know I hoped he was just looking to hang out and to make sure nothing was being misconstrued. I want my brain and my life back. And I want to go "home" but he doesn't want me there anymore.
Pyro Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 I emailed him (missed him for the day) just to let him know I hoped he was just looking to hang out and to make sure nothing was being misconstrued. I want my brain and my life back. And I want to go "home" but he doesn't want me there anymore. Hope that he takes it well. Maybe that "home" is not the "home" that you were meant to have. Maybe a better "home" is what you need to concentrate on, and I don't mean finding a new guy.
Author KittenMoon Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 Hope that he takes it well. Maybe that "home" is not the "home" that you were meant to have. Maybe a better "home" is what you need to concentrate on, and I don't mean finding a new guy. I want to build a life shared with someone special- I just thought he wanted to be there with me building. I want love that feels like home.
Guest Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 What does the book say, Feal the fear and do it anyway. Just dont tell him too much about yourself, and nothing about your previous relationship and how your feeling. If the guy's ok he wont hit on you on a first date anyway
Pyro Posted June 2, 2006 Posted June 2, 2006 I want to build a life shared with someone special- I just thought he wanted to be there with me building. I want love that feels like home. You said that he was immature in some ways. Well, maybe when he does mature in those ways, you two will then be meant for each other, but for now you need to improve yourself. Sharing your life with someone special is great. thats what I want to do, but you need to be happy with yourself before you can do that. Be comfortable with being single before you consider a relationship. Maybe that relationship will be with him, or its not meant to be. Either way, concentrate on yourself for now.
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