BklynGuy Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Its been over a year since we broke up. I dont want to be with her anymore and we dont keep in touch. My problem is I feel stuck...like I cant move forwards. Typically I dont deal with breakups well. Now Im afraid that what happened with my ex will happen with another girl. I dont know how to move forward and let go of the past. I was talking to another girl but ended that real quick. I feel like Im afraid to get close to another girl. Everytime I think of it the fear of her turning out to be like my ex comes back. Its like Im haunted by past relationships. I have realized I need to make better choices in women and date those close to my level. How do I move on?
MissTiss Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 I know the feeling, from the other end. My ex-bf left because he is being haunted by past relatationships and they projected themselves so far into ours that when he realized he was not in control of his emotions anymore he bolted. Just be careful to try and deal with those feelings first, before getting involved. Know that not every woman is like your ex's and that the new person you are dating deserves a fresh clean slate. Force yourself not to project the past into the present...it eventually gets easier to open yourself up.
Guest Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 your not the only one that went through this. you said your were in this relationship for a year, i was in it for 4 years and still hard for me to move on with my past. i know the feelings its like your past is keeping you behind from moving on. its not going to be easy but try to pull yourself together and move forward with your life. Its going to take months but its worth to give a try. You will feel better. so hope this helps.
In Sync Posted June 3, 2006 Posted June 3, 2006 Its been over a year since we broke up. I dont want to be with her anymore and we dont keep in touch. My problem is I feel stuck...like I cant move forwards. Typically I dont deal with breakups well. Now Im afraid that what happened with my ex will happen with another girl. I dont know how to move forward and let go of the past. I was talking to another girl but ended that real quick. I feel like Im afraid to get close to another girl. Everytime I think of it the fear of her turning out to be like my ex comes back. Its like Im haunted by past relationships. I have realized I need to make better choices in women and date those close to my level. How do I move on? I think that some of us who don't deal with breakups well, although we do survive the breakups we tend to dwell on them. Underneathe as long as we haven't resolved, or found some form of closure we let it fester inside of us. In otherword it indeed haunts us. It is only when we can forgive the past and then you can move on. If the past is still interfering with your (our) present lives we are holding on to a transgression that we haven't forgiven. The past happened we were hurt, but now comes the time to say...it was what it was. No longer do I need to carry it with me to distort my future happiness. Let's not allow the past hurts to define our present state or ruin our chances at something more rewarding down the line. So I forgive. Otherwise I am condemning myself to becoming bitter and blocking out what little rays of sunshine that may fall on my days ahead.
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