Returning Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 I went to school with a man and remained close friends with him long after school, up until we were about 39. We each had long-term partners and children of around the same age and socialised frequently. Our partners got on very well together and were also close friends. We went out clubbing on each other’s birthdays, hung out over Christmas and New Year and most weekends. Our respective relationships were not strictly conventional and each couple had their problems, however there was no funny sexual business either real or implied and nothing was ever discussed openly between the four of us. Towards 2002 the whole situation started to get uncomfortable for myself. When we went out my alleged friend would intimate how much he fancied my woman and that we should have a foursome. I just laughed off his suggestion, as it is something neither my partner nor I would want and we were often drunk. His lecherousness became more frequent and I discussed with my partner how uncomfortable it was making me and tried to work out a way to deal with it without causing any harm. My partner is a bit peculiar in the way she deals with unwanted attention, if she ignores it is not happening and that is that, it doesn’t exist in her world. It got to the point were I thought this man was disrespecting me as a man and a friend. I started to avoid their company as my partner maintained her stance and if I blew up at him it would cause all sorts of problems. I admit at the time I acted wrongly not confronting him but without the support of my partner I didn’t know what to do. Things went from bad to worse and it started causing problems in my relationship as I didn’t want my partner near this man, and yet she still wanted to hang out with his wife. Push came to shove and we stopped hanging out with them, this went on for the past 3 years. My partner occasionally encountered him whilst out and he hit on her which she just laughed in his face and ignored the situation. Anyway, my relationship has ended and I have been getting out and about socially. I bumped into this man and it was ok to see him, we had been friends at school after all, and the next day he invited me around to his house for a barby etc with the family. His family were pleased to see me and I them. His partner was puzzled as to why my ex does not contact her and why after being so close we all just drifted apart. I made up some excuse, as it was neither the time nor the place to go into it. My question is what do I do now? Do I discuss it with his partner, with his partner and him or get him on his own and tell him about it and how much he hurt my feelings and the problems it caused? Or should I just carry on avoiding him and his family?
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