dprelz Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 It's been many many months since she left me. Although I can go almost all day without thinking of her now, I still miss and love her. I don't know what to do. I love her. I've done NC for months and months. It doesn't work. It just gets her further away from me. I can't be friends with her either. Everytime we start to talk again I fall in love with her and go all emo. This post isn't about self-esteem or the fact I need to exercise and do the alone thing for a while. Im past that stage. I just can't comprehend that after this long I still feel like this. How do I move on to something different, when my heart is set on her? I can't concentrate on the bad, selfish things she did because they were very limited relative to the happiness she brought me. I miss her so f***ing much I can't even explain. Am I going to be 80 years old and still long for her? Thank you for the advice. Even though I hardly deserve it after being on here so long. Doesn't seem like much progress has been made.
bendit Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Please explain (what and when) the contact you have had with her in the last six months including times she contacted, you contacted, voice mails, emails, texts, internet spying, talking to mutual friends, every bit of incidental contact you can think of. thanks regards
Author dprelz Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 We end up talking to each other on the phone after 3 months of NC(she calls me). A lot of text msg's, emails and IM'S back and forth. I haven't seen her since last nov. Why is that info relevant though?
bendit Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 You are not in NC. its no wonder you can't heal from this. all that going back and forth is contact and that's why you can't move on. btw this is exactly what I expected you to say because if you really were able to be NC you would be healed by now. This is SIMPLE although its not easy. If you go NC you will get over her. If you don't you will be on LS coping forum asking folks why you can't move on after trying "everything". So you have a choice. you can either stop all the contact with the ex and move on with your life or continue to contact and stay in this netherworld where you are miserable, not able to have her, yet not able to let go of her either. That my friend is what we in the trades call making your life a LIVING HELL. regards
Author dprelz Posted June 1, 2006 Author Posted June 1, 2006 I agree with your post. But, my original point was that I did do NC for 3 months. Full no contact, deleted everything. I still missed her everyday. I can delete all her pictures, emails, phone numbers and get rid of everything of hers. Fine. But I can't erase the memory of her from my brain. That is what I'm saying. You're correct, I am completely miserable. My fear is that I continue NC for years, and I will still, always miss her. I bet that is very likely. Anyways, thanks for helping me, I'm sure you are right. I'll hold out, maybe they will make a relationship eraser like 'eternal sunshinse for the spotless mind'.
bendit Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 you didn't do it long enough. you broke NC and set yourself back. you don't need an eraser. you need RESOLVE and determination to let go of her and give up contact with her. that's all you need. If you want to heal and move on you will have to go NC. If you don't go NC you will be STUCK in da MUD. good luck. regards
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