Schn00ginz Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Ok, so we broke up on Sunday (via phone) and I cracked this morning (Wednesday). I called him up and asked if I could talk to him in person on Friday about our relationship. I'm sure he has plans on Friday so he changed it to tonight and I agreed. It's only been 2 days and I know of a girl who is VERY interested in him and I think that he may become interested in her. We've been together 5 years! I'm FREAKING OUT. I know I can't bring this up with him, as I'm sure it would portray "weakness" and thus "unattractiveness" on my part. WHAT SHOULD I DO? When we broke up, I couldn't really talk at the time because I was so hurt and sobbing. Is it ok to tell him that while we may need some time apart, we would have gotten that time apart when I moved to Florida, and that it really hurts me that he doubts me. Can I tell him that I think he is confused and with time apart we can have a better relationship in the future. Can I at all hint of a future relationship? I am so sure that I want to be with him. It has never been clearer in my mind, this is not a "i want him because I can't have him kind of thing". PLEASE HELP!
milokins Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I went through a situation similar to yours and I have 2 pieces of advice for you. 1. You shouldn't have to convince him to be with you. I did this, he felt bad and "caved" because he didn't want to see me upset. We broke up again 3 days later. 2. Don't assume you know how he feels. Ask how he is feeling and hope that he is completely honest with you. If you tell him you think he is scared, he may get defensive.
Big_A Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Keep your cool and don't let him see you crack. You want him to see you as the wonderful woman that he loves, he may not come back, but you will make him wonder. I have a friend who recently saw her ex (of a few months) and her comment to me was... "I wish he didn't look so good." Make your ex think the same of you.
Author Schn00ginz Posted May 31, 2006 Author Posted May 31, 2006 We never truly got to have a talk about the breakup because it was over the phone and I couldn't handle it at the time. I really want to talk with him in person about it. Is this not ok for me to do?
Big_A Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 If you need some closure then it is okay to talk to him about what happened, infact it is probably a very good thing. If you find yourself getting very emotional, then try to back off, you will get another chance to talk to your ex. After you see him it would be best to avoid contact for a while so you can get yourself in order. BTW - Most of us on this board have at least a few weeks behind us on our break-ups. Reading your post reminds me of the beginning of April when my breakup occured. I feel for you, right now everything must seem so chaotic. Please remember that the center will hold together and you will feel normal again. Good luck
GB111 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Sorry to hear about your situation. My advice: It's good to let him know that you still care about him and would like to understand his decision. Leave all the mushy stuff out. Leave him alone. Let him think about it for a while. There's no way he's going to jump in to a meaningful relationship quickly. He may have a fling, but getting involved with anyone for anything meaningful is a mistake on his part. Doubt he can do it. If he loves you, he'll come back. The best advice of all on Love Shack that you see time and time again is that you cannot make him love you. He has to come to that decision himself. There is nothing you will do or say that will make him come back in a *sincere* fashion. He has to be the one to make that decision. It will be tough, but you'll make it. We all have (or are going to). Remember that letting him go not only allows you to take care of yourself, but also gives you the best opportunity of getting him back (if that's what you want). Best, GB
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