KillaPetehog Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Am I noticing a disturbing trend here? I am amazed at the sheer size of the "Jealousy and Cheating" posts by women. Why are there more posts about jealousy from women? I mean, just look at this! I smell a Liar and What is he Hiding from (Sex Goddess) A woman..I presume What do I do with him (temptris) Insecure and missing him (doeshelikeme) A woman..I think His girlfriend is jealous of our relationship (simplybrill) I know he's cheating. I need help (kanga) Internet cheating..blah blah (stacey 2005) Another post by Stacey 2005 (Internet cheating) Why did he cheat on me (Cutie22387) he says he's not flirty (some woman) Is he cheating? (karenina) Should I be jealous (Sleeps w/Butterflies) This is unbelievable! I look at these posts and I see people that let emotions take over thier lives. There's a time to be jealous and a time not to be. Jealousy is GREAT..when it is over things that you can control. For example, so you see money that you want? So you want power? So you see other people that have things that you want? So you see things that you can...get. Jealousy can fuel AMBITION...and this ambition can give you the power to get that which you want... It really is about whether you have control over it…Determine whether this thing that you want is something that you can realistically get. Is it something that you can realistically get? It doesn’t matter whether it’s difficult or not? Can you realistically get it? If you can get it, it's something within your control..... However, if this thing that you envy is something that you cannot get. If this thing that you desire, is not within your control, accept the fact that you cannot get it. Some people are jealous of things that are not within their control. They wish to be taller, be a different race, have a different past, have different parents, wish for things that they used to have that they can never get again, are jealous about relationships, are suspectful about cheating husbands, wish for different looks…etc. This sort of jealousy is futile and poisonous, for these are things that you don’t have control over. Getting jealous over something that is beyond your control is a poison to the mind. When it comes to jealousy, there are things that are within your control and things that are not. You can choose to be angry at the way that you were born, or you can choose to accept who you are. There are things that are beyond your control. Some things will never change.There comes a time of acceptance. Know that which is within your control and which is not. As mentioned before, there are things within your control and which is not within your control. One example of something beyond your control is jealousy within a relationship. You can’t control a woman’s feelings. Those are her feelings. You can’t control a man’s feelings. Those are his feelings. Thus, it makes no sense to be jealous over a lover or over a relationship. For these are things that you have no direct control over. You cannot force a woman to love you. You cannot force a man to love you. So if you are jealous over a relationship, you are being jealous over something that you have no control. Whether you are jealous or not, it makes no difference, for what will happen will happen. Whether you are jealous or not, the woman may or may not cheat on you. Your jealousy doesn’t change the situation. So, in a situation like this, it makes no sense to be jealous, because your jealousy just makes you insecure. What good does jealousy do you? IF JEALOUSY DID have the power to change relationships and make it better...then I see no problem with jealousy. But the truth is...and the sad truth is...your jealousy doesn't do a damn thing. If your man cheated, your jealousy won't make him not cheat. If your man slept with someone else, your jealousy won't change that fact. If your woman cheated, your jealousy won't make her not cheat. What happens will happen...regardless of whether you are jealous or not. So you seek affirmation? So you want to know the truth? Is this why you are jealous? It makes no sense. You are just making yourself unhappy. Once a person has lost interest in you..it won't come back..by YOU being jealous over it. Might as well let it happen....and THEN...dump the guy and move on....or dump the girl and move on. What has your jealousy done for you? Nothing. All it has given you is more anger, tears, and an empty soul. Your jealousy won't change the situation.
allina Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I think that jealousy is caused by being in an unhealthy and insecure relationship. And a lot of people here are in relationships that are a total mess. I know that at least for me, if I know I'm loved and wanted it is very difficult to make me jealous. It's when there is trouble and a lack of security that jealousy comes in to play.
IrishCarBomb Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 The entire conclusion is bulls*** because it assumes that a person knows what he/she can and cannot control. It assumes that person has full knowledge of their ENTIRE abilities. Failure can lead to greater self awareness and eventually greater success. What if a person failed because they couldn't control a situation, but after a failure (or many failures) they learned to control it... what does that say of your conclusion? People grow and change... and it is just about impossible for a person to confidently say they know what they can control, especially in relationships. You seem to be on the right track... but in the midst of all the jealousy ramblings I may have missed the point.
ronnieromance Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 The entire conclusion is bulls*** because it assumes that a person knows what he/she can and cannot control. It assumes that person has full knowledge of their ENTIRE abilities. Failure can lead to greater self awareness and eventually greater success. What if a person failed because they couldn't control a situation, but after a failure (or many failures) they learned to control it... what does that say of your conclusion? People grow and change... and it is just about impossible for a person to confidently say they know what they can control, especially in relationships. You seem to be on the right track... but in the midst of all the jealousy ramblings I may have missed the point. I think the poin of the original poster's thread is...on point. The point is that you can't control another person. The irony I find, is that these are often, typically things people are told over and over throughout their lives, but only actualize after they go through it once or several times. That's been my experience with advice on love and relationships. Both giving and receiveing. We rarely listen. -R-
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