Guest Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 So I was wondering, has any OW met the W and found what the MM said about her to be true, that she was, or is, exactly who he said she was? If so, what happened with ya'll after that? How do you REALLY know if what they say about the W is true if you haven't met her? Comments from MM would be good too, so don't be afraid to speak up.
SHortyAnGel Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I have met W. w/ MM there..you see we got caught so yeh... They thing is in my situation i have already known the W & her attitude. I know she likes to dominate him.. i saw it myself.... i guess thats W & me are different... i am very stubburn But i wont put anyone down to get my point acrossed...needless to say she doesnt even know me BUT she doesnt like me already... & no i havent met MM than... i was just not her type of person.... The thing is we are so different in all aspects.. looks & personality BUT MM thinks we are similar... Ummm yes.. as night @ day???? =] What is happening now?... after being caught me & MM said our goodbyes & had NC for like 5 months & he couldnt do it.. & called me again.. A is being continue BUT he came back to me but i have changed not the same little innocent girl he had before... lets just say we have MORE arguements now... =] i am SLOWLY learning to play the game... I still see the W & i try to compare myself to her... BUT MM told me that i was louder & wilder than her....BUT i have a motherly trait aswell he thinks its a good combination... ha ha... RITE!
erika2610 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 So I was wondering, has any OW met the W and found what the MM said about her to be true, that she was, or is, exactly who he said she was? If so, what happened with ya'll after that? How do you REALLY know if what they say about the W is true if you haven't met her? Comments from MM would be good too, so don't be afraid to speak up. I met the W. When I was with my MM, i was a waitress and he was one of my cooks. When she and the kids would come in to eat, the lieface scumbag liked me to wait on her. She was soooo nice. The complete opposite of what he told me. It may me feel really bad about the whole thing. She also called me at one time too. The big dummy left his phone at home one day. My number was under the name 'Bob'.. I called him not knowing the phone was at home. She called me and asked if I had a Bob living with me. I felt worse after that.. she sounded so nervous. Like I said, she turned out to be the oppsosite of what he told me she was. You never really know anything other than what he tells you.. you have no way of knowing, unless you know her. USUALLY it's a safe bet that the MM isn't telling you the whole truth about her..
ShandaLear Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 i have met my current w. she doesn't know what's going on and says that she likes me a lot. he hasn't said anything bad about her but she gives the impression that she's boring and not very ambitious and i think he feels stifled. she also does several drugs recreationally where both he and i are drug-free and light drinkers and he often seems disappointed in her habits. i have been cheated on several times myself and have met all of the other women/men except one. in most cases they were after the fact (through my initiation) and in others they were friends of mine. i have even become friends with some after the fact.
THX2000 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 So I was wondering, has any OW met the W and found what the MM said about her to be true, that she was, or is, exactly who he said she was? If so, what happened with ya'll after that? How do you REALLY know if what they say about the W is true if you haven't met her? Comments from MM would be good too, so don't be afraid to speak up. In my situation I was the BS and found out about the whole affair. I ended up being the one that informed the MM wife about what he was doing with my GF and she turned out to be a truly wonderful person. I had all the e-mails he had been writing to my GF saying how bad of a person she was and that she made him miserable etc... and it all turned out to be nonsense. That's the sad part of these types of relationships - they are based on lies and deceptions. In fact that is really why I came to this forum in the first place - to try and understand women's motivations for involving themselves with people like this. The sad truth is that from doing a lot of reading on the subject I have found that most of these guys (and women that cheat) are with committed, loving partners and they just can't see how good they have it until they crash and burn. Unfortunately, these dummies end up devastating the lives of many people around them (the wife, the OW, the children, thier friends, thier families etc...) once the whole thing crashes down in the end.
Blind Illusion Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 No, although I have heard her in the background once and heard a voice message or two that she left the MM
zarathustra Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 My xMM and I lived together and I have heard them argue and she sounds pretty domineering and preachy. Talks about what normal people do and how things are supposed to be a lot. I've never met her in person, but seen photos of her. mmmm.... quick question... what is normal?
BUTAFLY Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I spotted MM car in a parking lot. I new he was at work so it must of been the wife driving. I have never met or seen her, but he discribes her as a ghetto b!tch on wheels, so I sat in my car until she came out (is that stalking?). While waiting I rehearsed what I was going to say, I was going to give her an ear full about her husbands ways. Well after 10 mins waiting I realized i was being an idiot so I got out the car and their she was. My heart jumpped to my stomach, she was walking towards me and I was just about to introduce myself when she smiiled and said hi (I guess because I was stareing at her). She put bags in the car and went back into the store. I followed behind her. We kept meeting up at the same rack of cloths and she started chit chating with me, asking me my oppion on colors and outfits- just seem very innocent and sweet I couldn't bring myself to destroy that. I felt sorry for her acctually. i see why men cheat on nice wives because they can. Because they are forgiving, and unassuming enough that they get away with it. You will not hear of a husband who wants to stay with his B!tch wife thats constantly on his back- but a nice wife that trusts her husband its easy to get away with this stuff.
BUTAFLY Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 My xMM and I lived together and I have heard them argue and she sounds pretty domineering and preachy. Talks about what normal people do and how things are supposed to be a lot. I've never met her in person, but seen photos of her. mmmm.... quick question... what is normal? Is what normal?
zarathustra Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Is what normal? His wife always talks about what normal people do... who the heck are normal people? Personally, I don't know anyone who's 'normal' Do you?
Bad_Monkey25 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 i see why men cheat on nice wives because they can. Because they are forgiving, and unassuming enough that they get away with it. You will not hear of a husband who wants to stay with his B!tch wife thats constantly on his back- but a nice wife that trusts her husband its easy to get away with this stuff. Deff true, but what about those MM who VOLUNTER the information about the W, when the OW doesn't want to know about her at all and doesn't ask about her? Is that any different? And why would they lie about the W? Cause for me, it really makes no difference what she's really like, I would rather not know about her at all.
RealityCheck Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 His wife always talks about what normal people do... who the heck are normal people? Personally, I don't know anyone who's 'normal' Do you? Normal is "INSANTIY" *laughing*
zarathustra Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Normal is "INSANTIY" *laughing* If a person uses 'normalcy' as an excuse for why things ought to be done without providing rationale and logic as to the benefit, then using the phrase, 'normal people do this and that' is nothing but a poor attempt to exert control and convince the weak that they are not behaving as they should. If that is the case, I would prefer not to be normal. Back to the original question, I found that my xMM's wife talked more than she listened. xMM never seemed to be able to get in a word edgewise. I heard him say, "but...... but.... but......" too often when we were together.
BUTAFLY Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Deff true, but what about those MM who VOLUNTER the information about the W, when the OW doesn't want to know about her at all and doesn't ask about her? Is that any different? And why would they lie about the W? Cause for me, it really makes no difference what she's really like, I would rather not know about her at all. Hearing negatives about the wife is a ploy. Men use it to keep the OW holding on. Even if we don't want to hear it, men know we are intentive and use it like planting a seed in our head because theres always "well.. he's having problems at home and maybe he will tire of her and see we should be together." Also it works in MM favor to jusify his behavior- sort of like talking themselves into it. The thing is its all fantacy to them they can't go around reminding themselves of how great their W is and then sleep with another women. They have to tell themselves something.
THX2000 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Hearing negatives about the wife is a ploy. Men use it to keep the OW holding on. Even if we don't want to hear it, men know we are intentive and use it like planting a seed in our head because theres always "well.. he's having problems at home and maybe he will tire of her and see we should be together." Also it works in MM favor to jusify his behavior- sort of like talking themselves into it. The thing is its all fantacy to them they can't go around reminding themselves of how great their W is and then sleep with another women. They have to tell themselves something. You got it! The jerk off my ex was with was always telling her how tough his life was and how miserable his wife made him in a ploy to gain her sympathy. I guess it worked! Now both of their lives are in the gutter and both are sooooo much happier!
movinon05 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Deff true, but what about those MM who VOLUNTER the information about the W, when the OW doesn't want to know about her at all and doesn't ask about her? Is that any different? And why would they lie about the W? Cause for me, it really makes no difference what she's really like, I would rather not know about her at all. You should ask LNF this one!!
zarathustra Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 You should ask LNF this one!! Holy schit, MO... I nearly fell off my chair! I'm having such a gloomy moody day, I feel kinda bad for laughing. Yeah... LNF's man takes the cake where this is concerned. LNF, where are you babe? We miss you!!!
movinon05 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Yeah! Here's a picture of my W. This is what my W did for me today. This is my W and me and the kids at (fill in the blank). Blech!
RealityCheck Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Holy schit, MO... I nearly fell off my chair! I'm having such a gloomy moody day, I feel kinda bad for laughing. Yeah... LNF's man takes the cake where this is concerned. LNF, where are you babe? We miss you!!! *laughing* Actually I almost fell off my chair, because MO in all her experience didn't answer this one!!
movinon05 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 *laughing* Actually I almost fell off my chair, because MO in all her experience didn't answer this one!! Huh?? who me? Wha? I was quoting LNF
stillhere Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I've met her a few times. She came to our work to drop the kids off by him. Really weird moment for us both. I'm on one side of him and she's on the other. I couldn't look her in the eyes. And he told me that i should apply for a job at her work. He didn't suggest it to be cruel, but because there was a job opening and they pay awesome and have awesome benefits. I wouldn't have cared if they paid $100 an hour, and covered everything, i could never face her every day, knowing that i'm F***ing her husband every night! And i would NEVER tell her, not a word. Even if she cornered me and confronted me about it. I'd play dumb. I don't care if she had us on video tape, WASN'T ME! But, if she did have us on tape, maybe she would learn a few things. Ok, being sassy, gonna stop. All OW's fill a void somewhere in their relationship that the W isn't fullfilling. Whether it's sex, or companionship, we have something that they just aren't willing to provide.
CantCutitOff Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 I've met MM's wife 2x - both at work related things. The first time, she didn't cease to complain about him & I got a horrible vibe from her (they had just gotten back together after a 4month separation). The second time, she was very nice. They were... strange... together though - not affectionate at all, very businesslike except for when they were tending to their child. From what I've heard & observed about the marriage... it just seems like a bad match that wasn't well thought out. I think she's trying very hard to make it work (and maybe being a little obsessive in the process - but I don't blame her given his history)... and he's still out playing on the side. I feel bad for her... and almost wish she had the strength to go out & find someone better. Damn him.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 All I can say is, you never know what goes on behind closed doors. I feel bad for her... and almost wish she had the strength to go out & find someone better. Uhm, don't mean to sound harsh here, but that's abit odd considering you're the one he's seeing on the side. IS he that much of a catch? Where's YOUR strength to leave him? Remember what he's done to her and what he is capable of when it comes to lying - He could do to you at some point in the future if you two end up together. Just remember too, YOU have alot of control in how things go here.
CantCutitOff Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Uhm, don't mean to sound harsh here, but that's abit odd considering you're the one he's seeing on the side. IS he that much of a catch?... Where's YOUR strength to leave him? Remember what he's done to her and what he is capable of when it comes to lying - He could do to you at some point in the future if you two end up together. Not harsh at all WW - I went 10 days of NC before I ran into him at work, didn't play along w/ his advances (as much as I wanted to) and haven't spoken to him now in a week. I'm working on the strength... and getting some perspective on the situation. Definitely not over it yet... but I'm working on it. And NO - he's NOT that much of a catch.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 And NO - he's NOT that much of a catch. Then keep on telling yourself that during your NC days. DO a good/bad list. I recently helped someone out on another thread by her doing this. Write out all the good things you like about him and how he makes you feel. Do another list with all the bad things - How bad he can make you feel, how negative and unhealthy the actual situtions is, and HIS bad qualities too. I'm betting you that the bad list will be ALOT longer than the good list.
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