fabulousgal Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I have a question: In a relationship where one was hiding something pretty serious from the other, and when they decided to come clean thier mate (me) was really hurt & left the relationship.... heartbroken and very very down....who gets to keep the friends? Most of the friends were mine to start with, some of them my very close ones. But they have done this really annoying thing of staying neutral. I don't want everyone to pick sides, but to the ones that were my close ones for years (not his), I feel really let down. I feel like not only did I have to break up with someone who didn't put my feelings first - now I have to be let down by my friends. They can wear the civility hat I think, but it should be clear that they support me by distancing themselves from the dirty rotten scoundrel. Am I wrong in my thoughts?
Pantero Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I'm in the same situation kind of. When my ex dumped me, all of MY friends were (and still are) dating HER friends. I felt betrayed by everyone. I totally understand the neutrality part they all played. Except, I never heard from my friends for I don't know, until recently when they all planned a Memorial Day BBQ. I started a thread about it asking people on this forum if I should go since there was a strong probability my ex was going to be there...(turns out she didn't show and I had a blast). At the time this break-up happened, it was really some bullsh-t reason (but, heck - aren't all the reasons of getting dumped bullsh-t?) and I might've heard once from each of my friends a day after it happened (since they all knew through THEIR proper channels of gossip...THEIR g/f's). After that, it was 3 months of NC...WITH ALL OF THEM. You wanna talk about getting up every morning for about a month and a half straight hating the world, feeling rejected by seemingly EVERYONE - those you can't even turn to for support during this difficult time, and feeling abandoned? It was total solitary confinement, and to be perfectly frank - I'm still hurt by it. I could give a sh-t less if it's normal or not, because in all honesty - what the f-ck can you do, right? Civility is the name of the game now. I still keep my distance. In the end, f-ck 'em who needs 'em. You're the one whose hurt. You're the one whose important...and to be honest...it's one misstep from YOUR friends before they find themselves in the same position you were in. Mature or not, I don't care. Do what needs to be done to heal yourself, learn, change, progress, and to crack the shell and become the new person you yourself are proud of. Hang in there.
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