panthera_leo Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Ok the time has come where i need to deal with seeing the ex. I posted not so long ago about him not contacting me about picking his stuff up. Well, after a few friendly messages he sent one saying he needs to get his suit. I can either give it to him myself or leave it with someone to give him. I think i can deal with seeing him. I dont wanna seem like im hiding from him. After all... we are adults. Have any of you guys out there had to do this? How did you act, how did you feel? Im pretty sure i'll cry my eyes out when he's left...i'd never do it to his face. This is so weird, i haven't seen him for 3 months :/
GB111 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Hmmm. Well, the time has come, eh? My ex still has my stuff, and despite REPEATED attempts for her to drop it off at my door, allow me to come get it, etc., there has been no response and no effort on her part to return it. Can't understand why any woman would want my things, but evidently, she has some use for them. Maybe she's given them to her new man. Oh well. In terms of your case, it's got to happen sooner or later if you're mature people. Just grin and bear it. Stay strong, and let him get out of there before you cry. You'll be sending a much stronger message by being unemotional than by breaking down and saying anything to him. Try to be civil, polite, and helpful. When he's gone, go grab a box of tissues, lay on your bed, and get it out. Very therapeutic! Best, GB
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Why make this stuff difficult.. you guys don't even need to see the ex to give them their stuff back.. Truth be known you just want the contact, otherwise you wouldn't still have their stuff.. Pack it all in a box(es) and leave it out on the front porch for them to pick it up.. Send and email or voicemail telling them when it will be available for pickup.. If you have to leave it outside your front door and tell them when to pic it up.. Get it ? Or mail it back.. or give it to a common friend.. but either way give them their stuff back and quit holding onto it so you can have contact with them.. That is the oldest trick in the book.. And if you don't agree with me and come up with an excuse as to why your situation is different.. Well guess what ? it isn't .. your using it..
GB111 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 She has my stuff. I want it back. I can't get her to give it to ME. Guess she's a thief on top of all her other redeeming qualities.
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 She has my stuff. I want it back. I can't get her to give it to ME. Guess she's a thief on top of all her other redeeming qualities. Then you let it go and walk away.. I walked away from 10's of thousands ( actually more ) of stuff in order to get divorced.. If you can't let it go then the issue is with you.. not your ex.. f*** her.. it is about healing and moving on..if it is a crutch it is your crutch
Author panthera_leo Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 Yes Art_critic you're right in one respect. I dont have to see him, i could simply give it to my brother to give to him. The fact is... i dont want to do that. I want to confront him, to show him im not some sissy girl who can't deal with it. Why hide from it? If i do, i'll be hiding from him forever... and i dont need that. However, I haven't kept a hold of his stuff to maintain contact.He was the one saying he was going to collect it at one date...but never came. Since that date its been put in a different room and i've been living in a different town as im at University. He could have collected it while i wasn't there...but he didn't. Sods law... as soon as i come back home, he wants to get it. Its not for me to decide what to do with its stuff, its his stuff (and its very expensive), he should collect it and save myself the hassle. GB you have the right to get your stuff back... i think if you really need it back you should tell her that your coming to collect it else your getting the police involved. I dont understand why on earth she would want it! Some women are crazy lol but you need to be with strong with her if she's being strong with you. I've been following your story, i know you've had a rough journey so you dont really be needing this right now!
GB111 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I agree AC. I will admit that at first I wanted the stuff (and some $ I loaned her - $2,000) back. I'll admit that part of the reason was to send a message. Now, I don't care. She can have it. I didn't get her pregnant, so I should consider that a cheap price to pay for something that could have haunted me for the rest of my life. GB
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