Schn00ginz Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 25. We have been going out for five years. He has had many bad experiences these past years and I have stayed with him the entire time. Now, he is finally getting his life together with a secure job and a nice car. I am moving to Florida to go to law school. Our dreams were coming true. Our love life for the past 2 months however, have been in a slump. On Sunday, he told me that he cares about me but that he no longer has feelings for me. I was prepared to marry him!! I am crushed. Completely devasted. I am still very much in love with him as I was on the first day we met. He says he doesn't feel it anymore. This is his longest relationship (and mine too), could it be that this slump combined with our circumstances (his new job, me moving) has him confused? I love him so much. I want him so desparately to come back to me. What do you think? What should I do?
KittenMoon Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is 25. We have been going out for five years. He has had many bad experiences these past years and I have stayed with him the entire time. Now, he is finally getting his life together with a secure job and a nice car. I am moving to Florida to go to law school. Our dreams were coming true. Our love life for the past 2 months however, have been in a slump. On Sunday, he told me that he cares about me but that he no longer has feelings for me. I was prepared to marry him!! I am crushed. Completely devasted. I am still very much in love with him as I was on the first day we met. He says he doesn't feel it anymore. This is his longest relationship (and mine too), could it be that this slump combined with our circumstances (his new job, me moving) has him confused? I love him so much. I want him so desparately to come back to me. What do you think? What should I do? Hey. Welcome to my boat. We were 6.5 years, similiar ages. Both in our only LTR. I got the "feelings have changed" line. Our lives were in a rut, his career is in a severe rut, etc. There is nothing you can really do. I did all I could to get through to my ex. It's been over three months. Saw him a couple times recently because of a wedding and he's still crying over me, but still doesn't want to be together again. I'm sorry I can't say more but they only thing you can do is give him time to miss you, figure his life out, etc. And realize he may never change his mind.
sweeter25 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 My fiance of 4 years just broke up with me 2 weeks ago. He was talking to a girl online and-as he said-he just couldn't marry me wondering "what if". Talk about being hurt! The thing is, every day I feel a little bit better. I still love him, but I know in my heart that there's someone out there who will love me-unconditionally-without wondering "what if"-for the rest of my life. You have to be strong and know that everything happens for a reason. There's a plan for all of us...just think-if you thought your last relationship was good and it ended, "the one" must be GREAT! Keep your chin up! I'm right there with you.
Guest Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 He called me on Sunday and told me (he didn't want to do it on the phone but I got it out of him) and asked that I "not call and show up at his house" for a week or so "to give him time." I am FREAKING OUT. I am so desperate to talk to him and see him in person. all i can do is cry
RealBroken Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 No Contact! u trying to reason with him and change his mind will push him away, its human nature. Trust me, i wish i had known this advice a month ago. Dont contact him at all, as hard as that sounds. Not at all. Let him wonder what you r up to, let him miss you, let him fear his decision. Trust me, anything else will push him away. This advice is all over forums and the net (psychology sites etc etc etc) Its the only way. Dnt make thesame mistakes i did, and try and convince or stay in contact, doesnt work. He doesnt want to be wrong. You tryin to show him will make him stand firm. Only he can change his own mind, and think oh no what have i done.
BeHappy Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 NC is the way to go... Like what RealBroken said, Only he can change his own mind. He does not want to be push to do anything he does not want. Give him time to figure what he wants.
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