Guest Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Me and my girlfriend have been having some difficult times communicating lately. The thing is that she always gets really really angry and starts yelling and attacking me, and most of the time I have no idea why she's pissed off in the first place. We are currently in a long distance relationship, and I'm planning to move to her country and move in with her in August. Last night we had another argument which to my opinion was for no particular reason. I had been thinking about how to plan our budget and I said that I had a couple of ideas of how we could do things and I asked for her opinion. At first things seemed fine, after a couple of minutes of discussion she started lecturing me about that I have to become more responsible and then it all broke down and she started yelling at me, telling me who the hell do I think I am coming here and trying to control everything. I was stunned because I just asked for her opinon about some ideas that I had. In fact she's been accusing me of a lot of things like this lately, she says that I'm a narcissist and that I'm selfish and only think about myself. She says that I'm childish and irresponsible and that I can't take care of myself. This to my opinion is just silly because I've been living by myself and been taking care of myself for the past 7 years. Furthermore, english isn't my first language (it's my 3rd language in fact), and nowadays she's started to complain about that I don't know english well enough. She says that I sound like a retard when I speak and that people don't want to talk to me because they don't understand what I'm saying. She also says she's embarrassed whenever I speak because she says that probably her family are thinking "poor girl who has to be together with someone like that who cannot speak english properly. how are they able to communicate?". I get along well with her family, by the way, and I've never felt that anyone of them have judged me because I have an accent. Then if we're discussing about something, could be anything under the sun, she can all of a sudden get really really angry because I don't agree with her on something, or for some reason that I don't even know why. In those cases anything that I say or do is definitely going to be misinterpreted and used against me. I started just keeping silent and trying to change topic when she's going on like because it's no point in trying to talk to her rationally then but then she uses that against me too and says that I'm childish. Now I wonder why she's acting like this. She's always been a bit moody but she's always been treating me with respect. Now these past few weeks it seems as though she's always angry with anything that I do and is rude and disrespectful to me. I'm wondering if this could have anything to do with that she's perhaps scared of that I'm actually going to move there and stay with her? It's a mutual decision and she's always been very excited about the fact that I'm going there later on this year to stay with her, but perhaps the closer we get to it, perhaps she's starting to question things about us and about our relationship? I've been trying to ask her what's going on, but she just says nothing. Any advice on how to approach the situation? Because I'm sorta starting to doubt whether it's a good idea to move there and move in with her in the first place when she's started acting like this all of a sudden.
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