Fun2BMe Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 as far as God is concerned, you and I are in the same sinking boat of sin on the same level as Adolf Hitler. That is a grossly absurd statement to think that God equates premarital sex equally to a mass murderer of millions. Talk to your minister to see if he would agree with that. Talk about religion using scare tactics to control. If that's why you remained a virgin fearing of the magnitude of the sin sex supposedly is instead of embracing its beauty then what a shame.
IceWind Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 That is a grossly absurd statement to think that God equates premarital sex equally to a mass murderer of millions. Talk to your minister to see if he would agree with that. Talk about religion using scare tactics to control. If that's why you remained a virgin fearing of the magnitude of the sin sex supposedly is instead of embracing its beauty then what a shame. Amazing and shocking as it is, its the truth. Even hitler is/was not above Gods grace. Was he angered by his actions? You bet he was! Keep in mind even the Catholic church was backing up Hilters wars tactics and cleansing standards! Talk about the "pure heart of the church" being wrong and blinded by their own ignorance! Was Hitler beyond saving if he admitted and confessed himself? The bible says no. We are all on the same level of imperfection as the next person. Gods eyes have standards that we imperfect mortals have no comprehension of and we have all "failed" Hence the greatest gift ever was Jesus and the forgiveness of sins. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son for those who may believe in him may not persish, but have eternal life" Read some books by Max Lucado and you will understand what I mean. I suggest reading "Come Thirsty" and "In the Grip of Grace" His books changed my life.
radiation7740 Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 Amazing and shocking as it is, its the truth. Even hitler is/was not above Gods grace. Was he angered by his actions? You bet he was! Keep in mind even the Catholic church was backing up Hilters wars tactics and cleansing standards! Talk about the "pure heart of the church" being wrong and blinded by their own ignorance! Was Hitler beyond saving if he admitted and confessed himself? The bible says no. We are all on the same level of imperfection as the next person. Gods eyes have standards that we imperfect mortals have no comprehension of and we have all "failed" Hence the greatest gift ever was Jesus and the forgiveness of sins. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son for those who may believe in him may not persish, but have eternal life" Read some books by Max Lucado and you will understand what I mean. I suggest reading "Come Thirsty" and "In the Grip of Grace" His books changed my life. Amen. You are not alone. I believe just like you do about the grace of God. I've read some of charles stanley's books. Also these websites might be helpful to you all as well: www.realanswers.net http://www.theshovel.net
ronnieromance Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 I see an interesting thing going on in this thread. All religious people aren't guilty, but all the guilty people in this thread are religious...Hmmmmmmmmm. -T-
Ranyamellon Posted May 31, 2006 Posted May 31, 2006 If it's important to you, stick with it. I don't believe in having sex before marriage (I'm 22) and amazingly enough my boyfriend (21) is also a virgin. But he does want to have sex but has waited the 2.5 years he's been with me and is willing to wait until we get married. I can't honestly say how I'd feel if my boyfriend wasn't a virgin because I've never been in that situation. But as far as I'm concerned, as long as my SO respects my decision not to have sex before marriage, it doesn't matter whether he espouses the same view or whether he's a virgin because his decision to wait until I'm ready shows me that he respects me and loves me. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, by all means, try to find a girl who believes the same as you (they are out there, contrary to popular belief) but if you happen to find one who is not a virgin but who loves you and you love her, why the hell would you throw that away?
Amaryste Posted June 1, 2006 Posted June 1, 2006 Alright, I am going to give you a neutral perspective on this. Yet, first off for your information, I am a virgin. Why? I want to be able to look at my future life mate in the eyes and say to him that I will be his, and only his for eternity [regardless of his previous or non-existent partner(s)]. Also I happen know many wonderful girls in their mid twenties who believe the same. You aren't looking for a needle in a haystack... you're just looking in the wrong direction. But.... I'd just like to ask you a question. What type of love are you looking for? True, unconditional love or a superficial one? (I would love to delve into deatils, yet to spare you some time, it's best if the summaries are brief.) True love, in my definition, is based on personalities. Most people choose this one is for the reason being their spouse will love them sincerely for the person they are. They are willing to stick by their life mates even when the whole world turns their back on him/her. To give an easy example, even if the husband becomes phyiscially atrocious, his significant other still remain with him nonetheless. Furthermore, ladies who swear upon celibacy, are inclined to believe in this. With the superficial one based on finance, phyisical attraction, virginity, and so forth... typically isn't long lasting. I'm sure you know how these relationships function. And I am getting the notion this is where you are as of the moment (even if you hope for the one above). If you are smitten with a girl mainly for her virginity... all I can say is good luck with trying to make that connection last. (This is America in the 21st century, not in the 1800s, so I'm positive the girls wouldn't respond very well if you were to tell them that you would leave them if they already had a sexual partner. Personally, I don't believe it would be "cheating" if they did.... after all, they were not commited to you at that time.) Ultimately, what you give is what you receive. True or superficial love? Your choice. Neither one is 'morally' correct. It is a personal choice and I am not here to force you into anything. I have my own beliefs about the entire matter, but I also have a respect for other's as well. I do not deem your situation gravely serious, b/c your expectations for women can be very malleable once you find what type of love you want. However, if you feel that this is overtaking your life, a visit to a therapist's office shouldn't be harmful. -----> (Also I HIGHLY recommend that you read Tess of the D'urbervilles. It may not be interesting to some people at first, but it will immensely help you to clarify your uncertainties. In addition, it may possibly allow you perceive things in a NEW light. Still uncertain? Read this novel a.s.a.p. Feel free to pm me, if you have any questions regarding what I wish for you to see. ) For now, seeing that you are yet a young man who has many more years to come, stick to your principles. Women are much more attracted to a man of his own will. Best wishes, Amaryste
daydream_gurl Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 For me, I am 21 and a Catholic so I also used to believe that sex before marriage is wrong. I was with my ex-bf (who was my first and only bf) for over 3 years and we just ended things a month ago. I went into that relationship with a strong decision not to have sex until we were married. Although I told him what I thought, he would still want to try and do more and more with me. I'm not saying that he forced me to do anything against my will, but after a long time, he would constantly try to touch me or something and I would say no many times until I finally gave in a while later and said yes. We progressed through this extremely slowly and even until the end of our 3 year relationship, we have not had intercourse. That is not to say that we haven't done a lot of major fooling around and foreplay. At this point, we are no longer together and I do not know what I would say to my future partner. Right now, I am interested in a guy that appears to be very deep in his Christian faith. I do not know whether I should still consider myself a virgin with all the things I have done, even though I haven't exactly had sex. I guess I'm in the other side of the situation, worrying about whether a guy like him will judge me for what i have done. Even at 21, I would prefer my bf to be a virgin until we were married. I do agree with you that it is extremely rare these days. Everyone I talk to about my relationships (even if they are Christian) are under the impression that I have had sex. I have not corrected them or anything either because I don't feel comfortable talking about these things. I guess what I"m wondering is, can I still consider myself a virgin with the things I've done?
Sand&Water Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 I guess what I am asking is.. does anybody know if there are still a decent number of girls who shre my beliefs or am I looking for a needle in a haystack You don't have to give up, unless you see no other way. I'm telling you, there are virgin women out there. Yes, sometimes it feels like you're searching for a needle in a haystack. However, if you look/search closely you'll find them. They exist, and not all of them are rude, ignorant and bi@tchy. There are at least 3 billion women in the world - you're bound to find a few!
Love Hurts Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 You are beautiful and rare..... you are doing it the way we were meant to. I failed at save for marriage. Shame on me. You are 24 and holding out. If you made it this long... What's a little longer? Wouldn't you be disappointed if you give in and a week later a virgin comes into your life. Have faith that you will be rewarded for holding out unlike so many of us. I pray God will bless you with a beautiful reward, your worth it. Signs of the times... where have all the virgins gone.....? Everyone is playing house and getting their head beat in. *Patience is a virtue.* You obviously have more of that in you. For the time.. you walk with a crown of gold,,,,,, for your admirable self control.
jenniferlm Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 I have a problem with you finding someone "unworthy" once you find out they've been sexually active in the past. You could be passing up on the girl of your dreams that God intended for you because instead of leaving the job of judging and forgiving others to him, you've taken it upon yourself. Suppose there's this great girl out there, who has recently been saved and come to the church? God has forgiven her of her past sins, and has welcomed her to him with open arms, but you sure haven't. IMO you've put yourself above God here. Doesn't make much sense to me. If you're Catholic, I suggest you go to confession. If you're not, you should probably talk to your minister. If he's a good one, he'll tell you that you're way off base here. Because really, it's not these non-virgins out there who need to ask for forgiveness. It's you.
babygirltamara Posted June 4, 2006 Posted June 4, 2006 I think you should save it for marriage..if thats what you want. I didn't wait and I already lost my viriginty and now I am waiting for marriage. My boyfriend is repectfull of my decision and doens't mind waiting becuase he has been with one person befor me, as I have been with more than one. We both know if we get married and have sex then it will still be special. I think you need to keep in mind not to judge someone if they have had sex or not, it doesn't matter what really is important is about how you feel about this person and if they make you happy. If they have had sex and you tell them you want to wait..know that if they are willing to wait with you thats a still a big comminment on her part...that mean she really does care and wants to be with you...even if you don't end up getting married to this person. Also keep in mind to look for girls who won't pressure you for sex..Trust me your not the only one out there and even if someone has had intercourse...don't use that one factor to judge a girl..otherwise you may miss out on the person you are ment to marry.
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