Sam----------- Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Hello, I stumbled upon this forum and really wanted to share my story/situation for some input. I appologise in advance for the long message.. I recently went to a cultural event that my parents invited me out to, I don't really frequent many latin events but decided to give it a go seemed like a cool show to see. My father was talking to a man he knows from the broadcast community and whom he had become acquaitned to. He introduced our family,and he and I got to talking (we are the same age) and totally hit it off and started talking about our careers (I too am in broadcasting). He was very insistant that we should team up and do a project together so we exchanged email addys. I had turned back to talk to the people at the table but overheard my father ask him about his wife to which he responded "oh no my wife never accompanies me to these things she is very North American and not into it at all" but his tone was very negative and I remember thinking "what disdain..." He proceeded to email me the following week and we chatted back and forth and spoke on the phone. WE threw some ideas around on what we could do together and he decided we should meet to disucss things. I want to make clear I was neither physically attracted to this man nor was I even remotely interested in him (especially after learning he was married) in any other way than professionally and for his brilliance. So we met a few times over the last month and got acquainted on our lives and our likes and goals as per this project but after the first time we had met he called me the next day and left me a message saying "hi just wanted to say hi nothing in particular" which I thought was odd. But taking into consideration that "latin folk" are a lot more free in that sense and not so hung up on professionalism and that he knew my father etc I made nothing of it and brushed it off (at the time). Over the last month however the more I would talk to this man and we connected the more I started to see him in a different light. He has become overtly interested in me, exchanging nervouse glances at me and I could start to sense all this after the third time we met but was not 100% so last week we had gotten together for a meeting and were going over the project but this time it was different. From the getgo he was like a child all giddyy and making me giddy and pulling our eyes away from one another because the tension was so unbearable. In between all this he would email me quite frequently and we would talk quite a bit about our lives but everytime I would ask him about his wife he would change the subject and not givem me much info. Only one of the first times he said he loved kids and did not have them but that his wife also liked kids but was still focused on career. Well after that last time it got to the point where it was very obvious to me what was going on and I found myself becoming really attracted to him he is entirely not my physical type (he is good looking but shorter than I am) but I am so blown away by his mind and his talent, he is very good at what he does. I have to make clear I am DEAD AGAINST infidelity both being the cheater or cheating or being the third party. Having had exes lie to me I hate lies and deceit. So I laid it out in the open for him and asked him what was happening between us, to which he said "well I am totally and entirely blown away by you, that's what. I have not met a woman that has made me feel so alive and excited the way you do" So I told him then and there that we had to stop immediately contacting and seeing one another. I went through an angry phase of dissapointment because I was seriously looking forward to working with him and not we could not work together anymore. We had been talking off and on since, on MSN and on the phone and I asked him if things were bad in the homefront and he said the main problem was the cultural difference and the fact that things were just comfortable and that I had opened his eyes up but did not give me specifics. I don't want to pry but given that we have already developed an emotional tie of sorts (which I wanted to end right here for fear of getting in too deep and going against everything I beleive in) I need to know if what happened was him finding me attractive from the get-go and using the work thing as en excuse or maybe our paths crossed for a reason (that sounds so pathetic I know and I bet a lot of people feel this way and it sounds like an excuse but what if?) Well long story short he says he is crazy about me and told me he is going to take care of his business in order to be with me since I told him I refuse to ever be the "other woman" I try not to do onto others what I would hate being done to me. BUT here is my huge dilemma. The more I try to cut him off the more I am drawn to him, it starts off innocently enough where he will email me and say let's just talk on the weekend or evening and next thing we are sending each very romantic songs via the internet etc. (this is not a sexual thing but it is romantic) and I am loving getting to know him all the while knowing and battling the fact that he is still married, bad or not he is still there and I have no clue what his life is really like. He has told me he is going to do what he needs to do so that we could be together and I told him I want no part in knowing that he is making any decisions based on meeting me. I feel terrible for knowing that this man is willing to walk away (if he does) and at the same time he has totally pursued me. I try not to go on when I see him on MSN but he will email me and try to phone me several times (of which I won't pick up) but I am fighting it because I really enjoy him when we do speak. We saw each other one last time this weekend for a few minutes to see if what we are feeling is real and it most certainly is and this is why I have to cut him off cold turkey, each line that we cross (emotional line that is) gets us closer to the ultimate line I never even imagined I would be close to. I have so many emotions and at the same time things are just so clear for me, morally speaking, yet I seem to allow myself to slip a little here and there and respond to his emails etc. and I can't understand why I am acting this way. I date a lot and choose to be single at present and the last thing I was expecting was to meet someone that night but getting to know him made me also realise that I miss my roots and I find someone who is also living in north america with the same cultural background to mine is very appealing to me. I'm not sure why I am sharing this story with everyone but I hope it will inspire those of you who have been in similar positions to share your insight with me. PS I am not looking for approvals or "there theres" I am simply looking for people who can share insight. thanks in advance Sam
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