Enayla Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Overall, I am a few months shy from eighteen years of age, and just happen to be infatuated with my literature teacher (who is single and in his thirties - 36 or 37) for about year now. Before you render this situation as another teacher/student relationship that should be disregarded, I would like to explain the details of this infatuation. Furthermore, I have tendency to rant, and so, I will try to be clear and concise as much as possible. Quick facts about my teacher: -he loves to build good, genuine connections with his students -he sincerely cares for their well being - unlike most professors at my high school -he likes to talk about his personal life and listen to others' as well Initially, I was enamored with the image of him, because it fit so perfectly well with my high standards of integrity. Yet, ever since I had the chance to have countless deep conversations with him and explore his mind, I found that I truly adore my teacher for the person he is. Sure he has a few habits that make me twitch and traits that I am not particularly fond of, nevertheless, he has a beautiful heart that's impossible to find nowadays. Of course, there are plentiful amounts of nice guys in stock, but I've never seen such loyalty and integrity as great as his. Honestly, if he were just simply classmate of mine, I would date him in a heartbeat, or pursued him until he complied. ^.< Anyway, I do not mind that he's about twenty years older than me, because, in my opinion, one can't place an age limit on love. (Note: My feelings for him is not love yet, merely just an infatuation. Love is a powerful emotion that is created through trust & history built together, and doesn't develop within a matter of minutes.) However, the age gap does present itself as a challenge, and during my spare time, I contemplated how this relationship would be possible... if it happened. Naturally, there are things to consider: family, children, marriage, jobs, etc. He has a stable career and is, obviously, financially independent. Yet I will be attending a nearby university this fall and after graduation, transfer to some graduate school while occasionally relying financially on my parents (and the only guy I would introduce to my parents, would be my fiance). I love living in my area, so it's highly doubtful that I will move miles away unless it is to study abroad for a year. And I believe long distant relationships do work as long as both partners are willing to commit and trust. As for children and marriage, he wishes to build a strong bond with his significant other before he makes any life-changing decisions. So, that'd be about five years in the making, and I will most likely be ready for them in my mid-twenties. Ultimately, due to my horrible past experiences, I am very cynical about men's performances as romantic partner. Therefore, I do not like to have my feelings be fooled around with or engage in flings. Also, I tend to be cautious in my decisions, and put a hundred percent into their execution. Certainly, I will keep my real feelings undisclosed until I become legal, because it'd be unethical to jeopardize another's career for the sake of one's own desires. Even when I do reach the age, I'd still like to spend another year experimenting our friendship, before anything happens. Meanwhile, if he does get a girlfriend (who's hopefully older, has a real career, and a good heart ), I'd be a bit downcasted, but I'll be glad that he has found a person to love- and possibly, someone who he has been looking for all his life. I highly respect him as a person and as a teacher, therefore, I want what is best for him - even if I'm not going to be a part of it. If he genuinely believes this relationship will not work, I will agree without a moment's hesitation. Though, whatever may happen, I ultimately hope I will gain a true friend in return. Please read the info entirely above before answering: And this is where I'd like to hear your advice: should I continue this infatuation, give him a less subtle hint -after I become legal, or (probably futilely) attempt to forget it? (Since, I am so smitten with his personality, that it would take a very long, long time to accomplish.) -Thank you very much for reading (and giving advice - if you did) P.S - It's rather strange of me to be so grave for I have frivolous tendencies, yet I'm dealing with an older person, hence, it would be wise to take a thoughtful approach.
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