Guest Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 i'm feeling conflicted about something and thought i'd ask for some advice. i've been dating my current boyfriend for almost two years and i love him more than i can say. this past weekend, however, i went to an old friend's house to drink with people i used to hang out with. my ex was there and we still are friends, but at the end of the night, we ended up kissing. now i know i made a huge mistake. the second we kissed i knew it. and actually the only thing the kiss did was to prove to me how much i love my bf and never ever want to do anything like that again. it made me realize just how much he means to me and that he is the only one i want to be with for the rest of my life. now, should i tell my bf what happened? i know it will cause him a lot of pain, and i feel like it would be needless. it would break the trust we have w/o reason bc i would never do this again. also, telling him would mean i would be risking losing him, which i know i should of thought of before but i can't lose the man i want to be with forever. at the same time, am i obligated to? help, what do people think?
whichwayisup Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Tell him the truth. If you don't and he finds out on his own, that will make things worse. You risked your relationship with him when you decided to kiss your ex. Don't be putting yourself IN situations like kissing other guys or even spending alone time with guys. It's just not cool when you're in a relationship. Let me ask you. IF your boyfriend and his exgirlfriend kissed (same senario as yours) would you want to know? And how would you feel if you found out by someone else ... Wouldn't be better hearing from him so he can explain, so you two can talk and make sure nothing like that happens again? You owe him the truth. You made a stupid mistake, just own up to it and reaffirm your love for your boyfriend, show him that you are INDEED trustworthy. I think he'll respect you for coming clean now. Yeah, he'll be hurt and pissed off, so make sure to be understanding of HIS feelings on what you did.
Rosalind Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 you made a huge mistake but learned from it...I wouldn't tell him, but that's just me.
sweetie7 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I wouldn't tell as long as you can make a promise to yourself (and to him) that it will never happen again. I would be skeptical if my bf told me he kissed a girl but it meant nothing. It would bother me to no end and I would wonder why he told me if it really was nothing. If my bf did it to me, I would rather not know, if it was the only time it would ever happen and he actually learned something from it.
norajane Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Normally, I'm all for honesty, but in this case, it sounds like you would just end up hurting your boyfriend by telling him. Since you feel terrible and will never be doing anything like that again, the only thing you gain by telling your boyfriend is a clear conscience - at the expense of his pain, disappointment in you, and confusion about your relationship. Don't get anywhere near your ex again, stay away from drinking situations where your boyfriend isn't with you, and keep this to yourself - do not talk to anyone about it because it will get back to your boyfriend if other people know.
Citizen Erased Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Take it from someone who has had this happen to them (except it wasn't his ex, it was our friends' girlfriend) you need to tell him. It was far worse for me finding out from someone then if he had have told me straight away. Another thing. DONT EVER DO IT AGAIN. My opinion is if you are going to cheat, then you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place.
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