scarletletter Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 I have been going through some threads on here and noticing that everyone is being so supportive of each other, in their own way. Isn't it nice when things go this way. This is what this forum is for...not for someone who doesn't have a clue how you feel to come on here and tell us that we are sinners, whores, fools, etc. It is nice to see the understanding that is going on here..very refreshing. I guess all of the critics are on vacations...thank God!
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Well they can stay on their damn vacations!! I really don't care to hear their smart a$$ comments. We who come here know very well what everyone is going through. I don't bop into their lives and give advice and neither should they come here spilling their venom!! I say, unless you've walked in my shoes, don't judge me!!
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 I have been going through some threads on here and noticing that everyone is being so supportive of each other, in their own way. Isn't it nice when things go this way. This is what this forum is for...not for someone who doesn't have a clue how you feel to come on here and tell us that we are sinners, whores, fools, etc. It is nice to see the understanding that is going on here..very refreshing. I guess all of the critics are on vacations...thank God! Kinda like a sisterhood in a way. We have all felt the same dynamics of an Affair. I have zero tolerance for judgement, no matter what the cause. I agree with MO, until anyone has been in this situation "stay the hell out of this forum" with comments that they have no clue about! We have seemed to chase a few out of here lately! *laughing* No bars held back that for sure!
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Yes, Karis went back to infidelity to defend herself and she really has no reason to. You can never get anywhere with that kind of thing. I find I'm just starting to pick and choose my battles. Albeit, it seems to be what mood I'm in at the time which will dictate the way I go!! lol!
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Yes, Karis went back to infidelity to defend herself and she really has no reason to. You can never get anywhere with that kind of thing. I find I'm just starting to pick and choose my battles. Albeit, it seems to be what mood I'm in at the time which will dictate the way I go!! lol! *laughing* You know MO, the more I read your posts with respect to your head space, I'm beginning to think "YOUR" my soul mate.....lol Maybe that's our problem....we want each other! *laughing*
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 *laughing* You know MO, the more I read your posts with respect to your head space, I'm beginning to think "YOUR" my soul mate.....lol Maybe that's our problem....we want each other! *laughing* Hmmm. Well if I don't get what I'm lookin' for soon..... I have friends in Nova Scotia who visit family in your province! Maybe you know them? Although he won't talk to me or even be in my space when I go to Nova Scotia because from what I hear, he needs to stay away from me. And that was 25 years ago at least! Funny thing is, his GF/commited partner has my same name and almost the same last name!! I wish he'd get over it and say hello to me at some time in this lifetime. I loved him to pieces!! But I'll keep you in mind, honey!!
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Hmmm. Well if I don't get what I'm lookin' for soon..... I have friends in Nova Scotia who visit family in your province! Maybe you know them? Although he won't talk to me or even be in my space when I go to Nova Scotia because from what I hear, he needs to stay away from me. And that was 25 years ago at least! Funny thing is, his GF/commited partner has my same name and almost the same last name!! I wish he'd get over it and say hello to me at some time in this lifetime. I loved him to pieces!! But I'll keep you in mind, honey!! *laughing* You are welcome here anytime! Once you can get some pennies together for air fare, everything else is free! I promise not to charge you room and board!.....lol Should you ever think about coming let me know and we arrange it on a weekend when I don't have the kids. That way we can get out, stay in or do whatever without any responsibilities to anyone but ourselves!
Author scarletletter Posted May 29, 2006 Author Posted May 29, 2006 Well they can stay on their damn vacations!! I really don't care to hear their smart a$$ comments. We who come here know very well what everyone is going through. I don't bop into their lives and give advice and neither should they come here spilling their venom!! I say, unless you've walked in my shoes, don't judge me!! I agree 100%. They love to come here and tell us what we are doing wrong!! Well, I only take that advice from someone who has been in this situation before. Well, let me put that a different way...I listen to the advice and knowing that I will need it someday. I am happy with my situation now and I don't need someone that "has never walked in my shoes" to tell me what to do. I come here to share stories and feel other's pain and try to make the best of a crappy situation. Isn't that what we all come here for?
movinon05 Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 Exactly!! And having done that, we continue to support each other and encourage and just sit back and share! That's why we're seeing a change here (for the most part). I don't know what it was like before I got here in April.
Author scarletletter Posted May 29, 2006 Author Posted May 29, 2006 Exactly!! And having done that, we continue to support each other and encourage and just sit back and share! That's why we're seeing a change here (for the most part). I don't know what it was like before I got here in April. I'll tell you what it was like...It was like one huge cat fight. There are a couple...maybe 3 or 4 that like to come into this thread and try to tell us how wrong we are, that we will never be happy, that mm never leaves his wife...EVER, and that we are total fools for thinking that they will. Now, I don't want to even think that far ahead. If my mm leaves his wife, then it will be because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. Some of the critics would say that we are going against what the bible says is right. I'm sure that me and everyone that has an affair knows full well that we are breaking a commandment. Whatever! I don't need someone telling me that over and over like that is going to change my situation. Some were bitter betrayed spouses that would tell us how cheap and stupid we are. Hmmm...I don't know about anyone else, but in my situation, I have a little bit of control, I am an consenting adult and whatever happens, I brought it on myself. Don't need a church sermon on this forum to tell me how wrong I am.
RealityCheck Posted May 29, 2006 Posted May 29, 2006 I'll tell you what it was like...It was like one huge cat fight. There are a couple...maybe 3 or 4 that like to come into this thread and try to tell us how wrong we are, that we will never be happy, that mm never leaves his wife...EVER, and that we are total fools for thinking that they will. Now, I don't want to even think that far ahead. If my mm leaves his wife, then it will be because he wanted to, not because I asked him to. Some of the critics would say that we are going against what the bible says is right. I'm sure that me and everyone that has an affair knows full well that we are breaking a commandment. Whatever! I don't need someone telling me that over and over like that is going to change my situation. Some were bitter betrayed spouses that would tell us how cheap and stupid we are. Hmmm...I don't know about anyone else, but in my situation, I have a little bit of control, I am an consenting adult and whatever happens, I brought it on myself. Don't need a church sermon on this forum to tell me how wrong I am. As for me, I consider myself as a spiritual person but not in any "organized" religion. As far as the "Vow"...poo...poo on that! Don't believe in that one either...That is purly judgemental and where I stand in my faith and belief is I only believe in a "Loving, all forgiving God" Purgatory...please.... And: Hell is nothing short of Earth! So I continue my experiences as programmed in me before I was birthed and know, I am all love, and forgiven unconditionally! Now, where's my MM......*laughing*
Author scarletletter Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 Good one Reality Check. My feelings exactly. I am and will always be a Christian person who has accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour. Yes, I make mistakes and have sinned. Everyone has sinned...and that is why Jesus died on the cross for us. Enough Bible study. In the end....I do what I want and am a grown woman who can make her own decisions and mistakes. We do have and exceptional and forgiving God. If we keep making the same mistakes, is he still going to be so forgiving...I think YES. If the worst thing I have ever done is to fall in love with someone who is not totally mine...then I'm doing pretty good in this screwed up world. AMEN!! lol Wow...I never get biblical so this is even scaring ME!!
RealityCheck Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Good one Reality Check. My feelings exactly. I am and will always be a Christian person who has accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour. Yes, I make mistakes and have sinned. Everyone has sinned...and that is why Jesus died on the cross for us. Enough Bible study. In the end....I do what I want and am a grown woman who can make her own decisions and mistakes. We do have and exceptional and forgiving God. If we keep making the same mistakes, is he still going to be so forgiving...I think YES. If the worst thing I have ever done is to fall in love with someone who is not totally mine...then I'm doing pretty good in this screwed up world. AMEN!! lol Wow...I never get biblical so this is even scaring ME!! Dido!!! *had me on the floor* OMG...I had an A....what is this world coming too!! You've got that right ScarletLetter!! If having an A is the focus in todays world, no wonder the planet is such a mess! Good One! Back at you!!
Guest Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 I say, unless you've walked in my shoes, don't judge me!! Until you've walked in the shoes of a betrayed spouse, you can't judge your critics, either. Some were bitter betrayed spouses that would tell us how cheap and stupid we are. Hmmm...I don't know about anyone else, but in my situation, I have a little bit of control, I am an consenting adult and whatever happens, I brought it on myself. As far as the "Vow"...poo...poo on that! Don't believe in that one either... Now, where's my MM......*laughing* Y'all can sit here and congratulate yourselves on having shooed away your critics, but you are guilty of the same things you accuse them of - you have clearly never walked in their shoes, either. Maybe one day you will be the betrayed spouse and perhaps then you will understand the bitterness of hearing the OW poo-pooing marriage vows and crowing about their "control"...the same control the spouses were not allowed to have by virtue of their husbands' and your deceptions. Those spouses have no control - they can't consent or not to anything because they don't know they are being cheated on. Whatever happens in their marriages is not something they brought on themselves...you enabled it with your deception. I've been the OW, so don't get on my back. I just know that the bitter spouses have very, very good reason to be bitter. And the OW has very little to look forward to...where are your MM this weekend? Enjoying Memorial Day (and every other holiday) with their families? Gloating doesn't look good on anyone, and it's immature.
movinon05 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 oh geez, i was just gonna say somethin', but i'm not. i know it'll get taken the wrong way and there'll be a firestorm!! :eek:
Author scarletletter Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 Yeah, please don't mess with our supportive nature here. We are much to happy to be brought down to Earth.
Blind Illusion Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Kinda like a sisterhood in a way. We have all felt the same dynamics of an Affair. I have zero tolerance for judgement, no matter what the cause. Me neither. And for people that see things in either black and white. Truth is, such folks kind of scare me and I never feel truly comfortable around them.
Blind Illusion Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 Don't need a church sermon on this forum to tell me how wrong I am. I agree totally. Leave the sermons at church where they belong. And the strangest thing is that I would never dream of going over to the Infidelity Board and chastise someone for giving their husband a second chance or believing what turns out to be a lie. I genuinely feel for people & try to wish them well, no matter who they are in a relationship triangle. Yet some people read about another person's woes and can only offer sermons and lectures and not support. No one is perfect We all make mistakes and all we can do is the best we can at any given point in time. Each person can only judge for themselves what that best is. I believe that with all my heart.
Author scarletletter Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 To be honest, I'm sure there are many people on this forum that have done much worse that fall in love with an unavailable person. I wouldn't judge anyone for what they have done or doing but it doesn't mean that I have to participate in their conversation or support their views. If I were to go into the abuse forum and listened to someone who continues to love their spouse after they have beat the hell out of them...I'm sure I would want to be judgemental, that is the reason that I stay the hell outta there.
movinon05 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 This just reminded me of something that happened awhile ago. Back in the very very early stages of the EA, before it became more than that, my H, MM, W and I were sitting on their porch. W started telling us about MM's uncle who had come to visit with his mistress. They were older and traveling south to Florida, and stopped by for a visit, while his W was home up north. Apparently they've done this a number of times. Well W laughed and said they were always welcome in her home. She couldn't believe it, but she really liked the OW and she didn't have any judgments about what MMs uncle was doing! Until it happened to her. Suddenly it was another ball game.
movinon05 Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 To be honest, I'm sure there are many people on this forum that have done much worse that fall in love with an unavailable person. I wouldn't judge anyone for what they have done or doing but it doesn't mean that I have to participate in their conversation or support their views. If I were to go into the abuse forum and listened to someone who continues to love their spouse after they have beat the hell out of them...I'm sure I would want to be judgemental, that is the reason that I stay the hell outta there. Oh gosh! I've never been there, didn't know that's what was discussed. Best to stay out of there! Another reason why I said I won't say what I was going to say.!
Author scarletletter Posted May 30, 2006 Author Posted May 30, 2006 That is why every situation is different. You know, I'm sure that I would be very judgemental on an abuse forum where an abuser is trying to justify his/her behavior or a spouse that is still in love with her husband after he repeatedly beats the hell out of her and the children. That is exactly why I don't go in that forum. I have nothing to offer there and I know my boundries. Just realized that this was much like my above post...I didn't think it took so i did it again..sorry
Blind Illusion Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 . If I were to go into the abuse forum and listened to someone who continues to love their spouse after they have beat the hell out of them...I'm sure I would want to be judgemental, that is the reason that I stay the hell outta there. Hmmm...yes, that's a good point. I would probably think in a similar way. Although, I might acknowledge their feeling of love and then suggest they get professional help so that their actions and sentiments are more in tune with each other.
Guest Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 That is why every situation is different. You know, I'm sure that I would be very judgemental on an abuse forum where an abuser is trying to justify his/her behavior or a spouse that is still in love with her husband after he repeatedly beats the hell out of her and the children. That is exactly why I don't go in that forum. I have nothing to offer there and I know my boundries. Just realized that this was much like my above post...I didn't think it took so i did it again..sorry Well, other than have an A.... I did the most horrible thing!! I let my dog run around without a tag and paid a very high price of a ticket of $30.00
RealityCheck Posted May 30, 2006 Posted May 30, 2006 To be honest, I'm sure there are many people on this forum that have done much worse that fall in love with an unavailable person. I wouldn't judge anyone for what they have done or doing but it doesn't mean that I have to participate in their conversation or support their views. If I were to go into the abuse forum and listened to someone who continues to love their spouse after they have beat the hell out of them...I'm sure I would want to be judgemental, that is the reason that I stay the hell outta there. Yes well other than having an A... I did the unthinkable, I let my dog run loose without a tag and paid a very high price of a $30.00 ticket.....*laughing*
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