fabulousgal Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Well....my story is pretty sad but whose isn't. I met a great person, and we hit it off from the start I'd say. We had a very very intense time together, about 4 months, filled with being together as much as possible and always talking when we couldn't be there in person. This individual really made me feel like they wanted something to grow...who knows what it would have been in the long term but I thought I was on the brink of a good relationship that meant something. For instance discussion of family meetings would come up...so what else would someone think? Then this person admitted during a heated discussion that due to some cultural issues I would be unacceptable to their family. No indication was given whatsoever that there would be any attempts to try to gain acceptance. So I did the smart thing, and left! I have been absolutely a wreck since this happened. I am actually starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I still have a broken heart and feel sad. It's ok I know I'll deal with it, I mean I am a great person and deserve to be a prize to someone's family. My issue is this: how do I handle bump ins with this person? It is bound to happen, we go to the same places and know the same people. I really don't have any desire to even acknowledge this individual, bc I really feel misled. Is that rude...I actually really don't care if it is, I think lying to someone from the get go is much more horrible!
GB111 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Ignore her. You have no obligation to her, and frankly, at this stage of the game, your job is to take care of yourself. Don't worry about being rude!
daphne Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 Gal, There's nothing rude about avoiding someone until you don't care anymore. What's rude was the deceit. Had she/he known you wouldn't fit in culturally, why continue the relationship? The answer is to use you. Even if she/he developed feelings, they didn't anticipate ever following through on them. You are a prize and I'm glad to hear a woman say it. You did the right thing and you will do better than deceit. Any woman who takes the attitude that she won't settle for that kind of behavior will always get better. I would try to avoid any bump ins until you don't care. Minimum of 2 months if you can. I went 5 weeks but he started coming to me but I realized I could handle it. I think.
Diver012 Posted May 28, 2006 Posted May 28, 2006 I would ignore him all togther. I dated my ex for 5 months before we split up. I was in love. She said she was in love. I was committed, I thought she was too. When we split up it was with no warning or other reason given than her feelings have changed. She told me she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me and dumps me a month later. She actually said "I know I said I loved you but I dont" Now shes dating someone else... I have to bump into her because we work together.. Im furious. I feel cheeted, lied to.. misled like you. But I have to put on a brave face every day I go to work. Most times I dont see her. But theres always that feeling of, what if I run into her... If I can do it, you can too... it will get easier over time...
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